We explore why taking your time at the start of a coaching session is one of the most powerful, and most frequently overlooked, skills in coaching. We unpack the common tendency for coaches, especially those under pressure or early in their practice, to leap toward solutions the moment a client states a goal. Through rich metaphors like the tandem bicycle, the pencil sharpener, and the Bake Off proving drawer, we show how deeper exploration at the outset creates clarity, focus, and stronger outcomes.

We link this slow, spacious beginning to the ICF competencies, highlighting why establishing and maintaining agreements requires more than simply naming a topic. The conversation also touches on the psychological drivers behind the rush to “get going,” including the TA hurry-up driver and the unconscious desire to appear helpful. 

We share our three practical tips, as well as personal practices that help us stay grounded and intentional, from mindfulness to checking our internal drivers. It’s a thoughtful, encouraging conversation for any coach wanting to strengthen presence, clarity, and quality in their sessions.

Resources:

• Nancy Kline, “Time to Think” & “More Time to Think” (especially helpful for more experienced coaches)
• Claire Pedrick / 3D Coaching, Metaphors and practices for sharpening focus and staying client-led
• Emma Donaldson-Feilder & Liz Hall, Relational Mindfulness Programme

Paul Heardman, Article on supervision from a constellationist perspective in Coaching at Work