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When Pam Baker's husband John was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer with no cure, their lives changed forever. For three years, she navigated the complex terrain of caregiving for a terminally ill spouse while raising four children, including two with cystic fibrosis. The journey transformed her understanding of grief and ultimately sparked a mission to create spaces where widows could genuinely connect.

"I didn't fit in the single women scene because they're talking about how much they hate their ex-husbands, and I didn't really fit in the couple scene because I'm like a third wheel," Pam explains. This realization led her to create Widows Who Wine (W-I-N-E), a community that started with a simple Facebook post and has grown to nearly 350 members. Unlike traditional grief support groups, which Pam found often kept people stuck in their grief, her community focuses on building friendships and finding joy while acknowledging the shared experience of loss. The concept proved so successful she's developed an app to help widows connect across geographic boundaries.

During our conversation, Pam shares the deeply personal coping mechanisms that helped her survive, including late-night crying sessions to specific songs that allowed her to empty her emotional "rain barrel." We explore the myth that anticipatory grief makes post-death mourning easier, the challenges of raising children through loss, and how Pam channeled her experience into practical resources like her book "Where's the Key to the Safe" and podcasts that preserve authentic stories of loved ones.

Connect with Pam at widowswhowine.com, find her app in major app stores, or read her book "Where's the Key to the Safe" available on Amazon. Her story reminds us that while grief never truly leaves us, we can learn to live alongside it in ways that honor our losses while creating space for new connections and even joy.

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Copyright 2020, by As I Live and Grieve

The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.