Will Work for Blank

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel? Ah, nope, it’s just the nausea from the cockroaches Axel, Luna, and Quinoa had to eat last night because World War XIII poisoned our fields, irradiated our cattle and made us promises it never intended to keep, breaking our fragile hearts, or what remains of them. AAAND those damn rabid squirrels keep stealing from our dirt stockpile! Yes… we eat dirt… and you can’t have any, we’re giving you a divorce contract for Mother’s Day instead. Salutations to the happy couple! This week, we scurry to fill our food supplies (and holes) at like 3am, because what is sleep and what is a recording/uploading schedule? We LITERALLY do not know her.

While we wait for the uranium to ‘fertilise’ our fields, come sit in the cockroach tunnels we took over and join in our therapy session. SIKE, ITS THE NEWS AGAIN! Prep your earholes for the REAL questions, including; when will all men stop not-all-men-ing people to death? How many nuclear warheads does the UK need before Boris can get fully aroused? What did bees do to Axel? When will Astra Zeneca stop getting more mixed signals from the EU than one of us at a university mixer? Did Oprah just kill my family in front of me and get the Nobel Peace Prize? Good for her, Strong Black Woman. And why won’t they let the royal family mummies die? Sarcophagi???

Also, this week, we talk about Dungeons and Dragons! Kind of! Mostly we just talk about our own campaign! I’m sure you will find that tit-illating. We also discuss what the hell even this nerd game is, why so many people play it, and how it’s the new cheap replacement for therapy everyone who doesn’t have health insurance in the USA should try.

Thanks as always for listening, and, if you’re going out into the badlands at night, make sure to bring some squirrel repellant, or something.

For contact details and show notes, including sources for our news discussion, visit our website at www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.

Is that the dreadful feeling of early onset polyps in a post-apocalyptic world without free healthcare, or are aliens just probing you too hard? OR are you just happy to see us? Either way, if you’re hearing this message from Axel, Luna and Quinoa, you have your audio assist on because this is in writing. This week, we’re in mourning because the aliens kidnapped our god Rust Bucket, and also Luna became a one-person Russian sleep experiment (the sample size is too low so that’s just bad science).

But don’t let the feeling of cold alien fingers in your secret garden distract you from the important things in life, such as; what the h*ck is a super straight, Maury? Is Joe Biden the new un-president of the USA? Does this cat think it’s hot sh*t? Delaying trains like this? Why is Senator Senema the ONLY anime pillow, girl-boss Democrat dream of every incel who hates poor people? Why is Texas so open it’s gaping despite all dat Corona? And why is Boris Johnson the banker from Mary Poppins and why are we the bird lady asking for tuppence a bag to feed the NHS??? Riddle me that, AMERICA!

And this week’s topic is; the ways science has failed us! Whether it’s the medical field deciding who counts as a human being, Big Pharmussy prescribing cocaine for people’s coughs in the 1800s, or nuclear power and bombs getting people yeet the f*ck up, science, for all its perks, has done a real number on humanity in various ways. So… let’s talk about it!

Thank you as always, friends, countrymen, for lending us your ears, and keep those guillotines sharp!

For contact details and show notes, including sources for our news discussion, visit our website at www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.

We’re a little manic this week lads, so come spin around the fire with Axel, Luna, and Quinoa to honour our post-apocalyptic god Rust Bucket, as we holler what news this week poisoned our water supply… or was it just Quinoa?! No? You’re not into that crazy sh*t? We look like we’re in a cult? Okay, well,more heathen god for us!

Some of the things we’re screaming into the Rust Bucket this week include: why oh why have you forsaken us? And more importantly, why have you forsaken Lady Gaga’s dog walker? How do you actually pronounce February? Which minority will the NYPD’s robot dog inevitably Black Mirror first? What was Malcolm X selling in the superbowl commercial when the FBI psyops got him? Why do potatoes even need gender? What does the Heptagon have to say about this? Why are the Conservative dog whistles for fascism getting so loud they’re deafening dogs AND humans, at this point? Wait, is this why the whole Lady Gaga dog walker thing happened? Have we uncovered a conspiracy theory? Or is it just the rust getting to our heads?

And, join us in dumpster diving in the incel community as our topic of the week! We discuss what incels are (if you’ve been lucky enough to not encounter them), how deep their internalised hatred and racism goes, what sub-classification of incel we’d all fall into, and why the f*ck have you forsaken our disenfranchised young men, oh great lord Rust Bucket, protector of our last remaining brain cell!

Ta for tuning in boys, girls, and non-binary potato-based children’s toys; we hope you’re having as good a week as anyone can right now!

For contact details and show notes, including sources for our news discussion, visit our website at www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.

Whassaaap. Come suck some dirt through some straws, I guess, cause that’s all that’s left of the world, with Axel, Luna, and Quinoa, while we try to navigate a week full of romance, depression, Axel caring a little too much about Nintendo, and literal garbage from the skip. Also, Quinoa woke up. We can’t… Relate?

But why are we sucking dirt through some straws? Well, good question. Some other good questions are: has Matt Hancock been hancocked? Why was Quinoa preparing Ghislaine Maxwell’s bail documents? How many times can we blow our gayllotine load in one episode? Is Bernie Sanders an ignorant sl*t? Is Axel just an Excel spreadsheet? When will Quinoa JUST. STOP. BREATHING? And… Do we have other segments apart from the news?

Finally, this week, we actually talk about something that alleviates our depression; video games! We discuss how many pixels can fit in a pixel, how Fortnite is the equivalent of grief counselling for Gen-Zennials, how Sims helped us abuse our fictional children and become God (one and the same, really), and why maybe playing video games is a better alternative to committing violent crimes (unless you’re Axel and instead play GTA obeying all traffic laws and apologising to the strippers).

Well, thank you for reading this! You literally have nothing better to do because the world is over, so come check out our contact details and show notes, including sources for our news discussion, here: www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.

Hey you. Come share this special tin of long-lasting beans by the fire with Axel, Luna, and Quinoa in honour of Valentine’s day. This episode has a terminal case of ‘flatlining patient’ voice and some weird background noises we couldn’t edit out. Don’t worry, that’s just the sound of our fragile sanity splintering, because capitalism hits hard but depression hits harder! Also, it snowed on Monday.
But try to forget about the wild fluctuations in weather brought on by climate change! Let’s instead discuss: Who was there at Ghandi’s salt- sand- salty sand walk? What council is Lady Gaga on exactly? Is it the one that’s gonna Free Britney™? Is Jeffrey Epstein Voldemort? Why is there a mention of guillotines in literally every episode so far? What council flat is Queen Elizabeth going to give her speech from this year? And no, seriously, what the F*CK is the Luna Revolution?
And listen out for our topic of the week: free speech! We talk about how the battle between Gina Carano and Disney left a sour taste in our mouth, how much social media is rotting all our brains, and what, if anything, we can all do to resolve the free speech crisis, such as shout louder, topple the government, or get banned on all podcasting platforms for talking about flaying people.
As always, thanks for finding the time in your busy schedule of crying and worrying about bills to listen to us!
For contact details and show notes, including sources for our news discussion, visit our website at www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.

Come and smoke three fags outside the nuclear shelter with Axel, Luna and Quinoa and discuss the most relevant issues of our generation. But first, how are you? Sh*t? Yeah, us too. We barely slept this week, but, let’s be real, there are more important things to talk about.

Like: can an earth sign really hate something? How will Jeff Bezos’ dad bod look mounted on your wall? Is Captain Sir Tom Moore the future of QAnon? What is the Luna Revolution? Did Axel just invent capitalism? Is it pronounced Quinoa or Quinoa?

And, tune in for our topic of the week: university! We discuss our expectations vs reality, our experiences of uni life pre-COVID, and whether going there only slightly crushed our dreams, or scarred us nearly as much as our parents did.

We hope everyone has a very… week! Just a very, very week. Thanks.

For contact details show notes, including sources for our news discussion, visit our website at www.willworkforblankpod.wordpress.com.