Prince Harry may have chatted with the BBC this week while his wife Meghan made headlines for using her sort-of-rescinded "HRH" title, but we at Windsors & Losers HQ are focused on the real breaking news: King Charles issuing a royal warrant for his favorite bath oil. In this week's episode, Eva and Allie dive deep on KC's bath time rituals, Prince Edward's blink-and-you'll-miss-it trip to America, a royal cousin, and Fergie's seeming return to the royal fold.

Windsors & Losers is back from Spring Break in time for the latest from royal reporting G.O.A.T. Tina Brown. In her interview with The Daily Telegraph, Tina laments the absence of Harry's sizzle from the family — and complains about things being *too* competently run over at Windsor HQ. But where Tina steps back, we step forward! This episode brings you trenchant analysis on Charles and Camilla’s 20th wedding anniversary, the late Queen’s lunch habits, and Will and Kate’s anniversary plans at a Scottish 'Heir-B-N-B.' Consider us your auditory flower sprinkles: lacking in any real nourishment but nonetheless colorful.

It’s royal-adjacency week over here at Windsors & Losers, with a specific focus on Pippa, Mike, Tom... and Bouijis. That's right — we're feeling nostalgic about the quasi-return of the notorious London watering hole (and particular favorite of young Harry, William and Kate), but we’re also reflecting on how polarizing opinions of Meghan might actually be good for her business.

Meghan goes head-to-head with Harry's cousins, Amelia and Eliza Spencer, in a war of the rosés. Cressida Bonas, launches a podcast — in which she’s annoyingly unlikely to say anything at all about her ex, Prince Harry. Prince William plans a trip abroad to see a soccer match, of course. King Charles, meanwhile, was in the hospital, but is keeping his plans for a state trip to Italy in place. And finally, the Sussexes and the Waleses celebrate UK Mother's Day on Instagram with a photo of a lemon tart and a video featuring William’s calves. You guess which is which.

The royals are back at it. Prince William takes some tank travel and enters a new touchy-feely era with Princess Kate. King Charles opens Highgrove for a woo woo new cause. He also giveth — and taketh — some royal warrants from storied champagne houses. And finally, Queen Camilla is making breaking brooch news! Allie and Eva are on the royal brooch beat.

Windsors & Losers WEEKLY! is joined by Victoria Murphy, author, contributing editor at Town & Country, frequent ABC royal commentator, and the only person in the room who actually knows what Meghan’s last name is. Eva and Allie talk with Victoria about the latest weird and wonderful royal headlines, including King Charles’s new house (next to Camilla's old house), William’s enduring passion (for footie), and Victoria's reaction to Meghan's Netflix cooking show.

Half-term is over, and the royals are back to business. Queen Camilla’s brooch stole the show at a recent event. King Charles made a scene of his own by simply signing a letter, while in the background, he's overhauling the royal train according to his eco-friendly specifications. Prince Edward made people laugh. And their cousin, David Albert Charles Armstrong-Jones, 2nd Earl of Snowdon, has a new girlfriend with almost as many words in her name.

The royals adopt social media—and show us their Valentine's Day "feelings." King Charles tries his hand at American football while hanging up his skis forever. Princess Anne gets an astounding new title, and her son-in-law Mike Tindall admits to loving a good old-fashioned prank. Tom Parker Bowles dishes on family vacations of yesterday with his mom, Queen Camilla, who's making headlines elsewhere for her endorsement of a celebrity-favorite (and bunion-busting) shoe.

All this—and more—in this week's Windsors & Losers Weekly!