Author and Red Eye columnist Stephen Markley joins Hank and Jeff on the podcast. Topics include: is a middle name an ACTUAL name? Stephen's book 'Publish this Book,' reading at an erotic fiction reading series, looking at the long game and self-promotion, the world of literary journals, a Springsteen song to Brucetube, sexy book parties, Stephen's Page 4 colum in the Red Eye, the psychology of taking offense, getting LOST in another thrilling round of Romantic Fantasies, Hank shoes away airport love, @RupertMurdoch, protecting material, SOPA, sports strikes and plenty of must-listen politics. And more! Thanks!

out of context quotes:

"No one's ever had a healthy relationship. It just doesn't exist."

"It's like a choose-your-own-adventure except someone already made the choices for you. AKA a book."

LINKS:

Follow Stephen on Twitter: @StephenMarkley. Read his Red Eye column. Get his book: Publish This Book! His website: StephenMarkley.com 

Follow Jeff on Twitter: @jsteinbrunner. Jeff's Saturday night show: YourFunniestFriends.com

Follow Hank on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson. Read his blog: SuckProfessor.com.

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If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to write a positive review on iTunes

Comedian Liza Treyger (@GlitterCheese) returns to the podcast. Topics include: extreme pringles, religion and witches, movie theater snacks and full meals, Fashion magazine for fashion women, Kelly Oxford and twitter, Liza is BFF with Nikki Glazer (Best Feature Forever), hating liza makes her likeable, the perfect wedding ring, liver transplants and lungs, Liza's job and job interviewing, lifestyles of the rich and stylists, Celebrity News with Liza Treyger: Montana Fishburne, tons of money fantasies, Leonardo De Caprio is surprisingly young, breaking bad and crazy addictions, favorite babies, Puff Daddy vs Jay Z and a randy game of Would You Rather?

out of context quotes:

"Today I was watching a Law and Order: SVU called 'Slaves.'"

"Because they're surrounded by yes women."

HELP OUT!

Share a link to the show with your friends or leave a positive review on iTunes. You'll feel better.

Comedian Mike Stanley (@MikeStanley1) returns to the podcast. Topics include: the agony of doing road radio, a marriage by a Vegas wizard?, do airplanes have keys?, stopping or quitting drinking, weight loss and three hour workouts, Mike's harrowing/interesting/crazy brown recluse spider experience, Hank's seven day Migraine, Jeff's never experienced pain, Goals for oh-twelve, NEWS: When train accidents go bad, favorite movies of 2011, this, that, other things. VERY FUN episode. 

out of context quotes:

"Had that thing been floral print he would have been pining for cheesecake on the couch."

"It's never comfortable when you're naked if you know someone might be coming by."

LINKS:

Keep to up-to-date with Mike on his website: MikeStanleyComedy.com

Get tickets for Jeff's hot Saturday show: YourFunniestFriends.com

See whatever bullshit Hank's been up to: SuckProfessor.com

Comedian and former co-host Joe Fernandez joins Hank on the podcast. the magic of Magic, Hank practices flair opening Criss Angel Mindfreak cards, power in relationships, SKIT: The Penguin goes custom umbrella shopping, to kiss or not to kiss post-BJ, how scary movies can only be watched with a babe, ROMANTIC FANTASIES leads to some heartfelt soul-searching from Joe, do women really know what happens at Bachelor Parties?, a giant at a funeral in North Korea, stand up comedy goals, Joe's trip to London, cashier interactions, volunteering, Penn State, and a polite discussion on arguing, YFF's latest depressing sketch. You'll love it!

Bill's locks are grey with love, La Croix is La Crap, blues clues cuts deep, free soda etiquette, the story of Lane being cheered off the stage at Schubas, religion and bits and when family gives you both, the age-old question: finger-painting or finger-banging- Bob Ross weighs in, the history and methodology behind Bill Cruz's F*CK LIST, crazy zombie film boner dream, watching scary movies and shows alone like Paranormal Activity and American Horror Story, fake blood tips, Bill wrote for the Anthology "Out on the Edge". Plus mouthfuls of other words.

Out of context quotes:

"This year's Christmas was my family's 9/11. Never again!"

"I didn't say I didn't like it. But I don't."

"That's my plug. I've just been combing my hair recently. You should check it out."

LINKS:

Bill's prestigious Top Ten List of Comics he'd Like to F*CK in 2012 on the Chicago comedy scene site: ComedyofChicago.com

Lane's group: Your Funniest Friends

Hank's website: Suck Professor

Comedian and looker Eliot Rahal joins Hank on the podcast-- First sets, the lameness of grape jokes, uncomfortable eye contact, Jurassic Park 2 might be fake, Elliot was a wrestler!? A shot-putter!?, fencing, Eliot meets the iocane powder guy, World of Warcraft and addiction, Eliot's old OCD cat, penis evolution and other crazy animal talk, Bizarre Foods, Religion talk: Under the Banner of Heaven and the world's longest game of telephone, humblebrags. Not discussed: comic books. 

out of context quotes:

"Dinosaurs love pipes."

"You can work out when you're dead."

LINKS:

Eliot is a cast member at The Lincoln Lodge

Follow Hank on Twitter. Or read his blog for some reason.

HELP THE SHOW!

Show us a little love on iTunes by clicking on five stars or write a positive review. Or join our Tell-a-Friend program in which you tell a friend about the show.

PART 2- The 2nd half of our conversation with comedian and podcaster Matt Riggs (@MattRiggs) and (@JSteinbrunner) we discuss getting better at stand up comedy, Matt's split with his previous podcasting partner, drunks at open mics, sushi abuse and wasted food, improving jokes, the scourge of handshaking, Matt entertained Julia his first doing stand up, how and why comedy stories, YFF's new show at the Joynt, a funny story about Rise at the Pizza Film Festival, Hank gets weirdly excited about behind the scenes videos of The Hobbit, and 3D filmmaking "explained." Plus a ton more. Listen up, you!

out of context quotes:

"Cause the judge can't see ear bruises."

"I do. That's why it shouldn't be gross."

GOOD DEED OPPORTUNITY!

Please support the show by leaving a positive review on iTunes or sharing a link on your facebook wall. Or dishes. There's always dishes.

PART1- Comedian & newest Friend Matt Riggs joins Hank and Jeff on the podcast. Listen to: Hank's Zanies recap, the wonders and blunders of padded toilet seats, sleeping nekid, In Living Color auditions are in town, will the new Laugh Factory make it?, World's most famous heights according to google, SEGMENT: SET LIST POETRY, we share our most desired places to have sex and Jeff regales us with a tale about a booking request gone wrong.

out of context quote:

"Good day, Surge!"

HELP THE SHOW:

If you enjoy the show and look forward to listening please post it on Facebook/Twitter/etc. Or tell a friend. Or tell an enemy. Or write a positive review on iTunes. It really helps us out and is all we ask of you. Thanks!

Happy Fuggin' Holidays, Everybody! Comedians Matty Ryan (@Matty_Ryan) and Kevin Lee (@CaptchaArtist) join Hank on the podcast. Matty recently spent 2 or 3 months in Vietnam/Cambodia/Laos and Kevin recently moved to LA. Hear us talk about the beds and toilets in Asia, Matty sleeps with a Cambodian man, crazy ass rat stories, creepy sex tourists, Kevin attended a Conan taping, SEGMENT: SET LIST POETRY, voicemails from Hank's dad with joke suggestions, Joe Piscapo, cougar bars, eye contact with pets during sex, a truly horrific restaurant in Asia and eating a still-beating cobra heart. Very fun show. We laughed. You will too.

out of context quotes:

"And I'm almost fat enough to have a third strike against me."

"My turds are walking!"

Thank you for your listenership. 2011 was a great year and 2012 will also be great. Great great great.