Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

In this episode, Karen and Emily share practical tips for creating a fun and memorable summer for your family. From nostalgic ice cream runs and imaginative backyard play to volunteering and fostering independence in kids, they offer ideas for keeping summer simple and enjoyable. Don’t miss Karen’s nuggets on balancing work with quality family time! Share your own summer ideas with us on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or Instagram and join the conversation! 

Episode Recap:

3:20 - Karen shares her summer plans
5:51 - Karen was a laid back mom, so summer was a always fun for her
7:16 - Question 1: I'm a working mom and summer feels frantic for me, help! 
11:04 - Question 2: I’m dreading hearing “I’m bored!”  Any suggestions?
17:48 - Emily offers ideas: do your research and prepare ahead of time for a fun summer! 

23:56 - Question 3: What are your thoughts on summer jobs for teens?

26:58 - Question 4: How do I manage working from home with my kids this summer? 

30:00 - Remember, you are not the cruise director for your kids’ lives! 

Questions for Discussion:

1. What are some of your favorite summer memories or traditions from your own childhood? Can you recreate or adapt any of them for your family today?
2. Do you have to balance work responsibilities with family time during the summer? How have you planned ahead or what can you implement that you heard in this episode?
3. How do you promote creativity and independence in your children during summer? Are you hovering too much or do you allow your kids to get bored?! 
4. Reflect on the idea of not being the "cruise director" for your children's lives. How do you manage expectations and foster self-sufficiency in your kids?

Resources:

• Pre-order Karen’s all-new Survival Guide to Motherhood today! Orders ship July 30th: https://amzn.to/3Vr7LlD
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: https://www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms
  
  

In this episode of "The Summer Before...", Karen and Emily discuss the summer before college and answer your questions about preparing for this big transition. They talk about fostering independence, celebrating your Senior, and teaching essential life skills. Emily shares some hilarious advice on dorm room safety, and Karen reminds moms to lower our expectations when it comes to phone calls. As always, tune in for practical tips and heartfelt encouragement as your child embarks on this exciting new chapter.

Episode Recap:
5:16 - Karen’s goal was to have her kids ready for independence by the time they left high school 
7:19 - How can I celebrate my Senior well? 
10:10 - Karen shares how she ended up at Auburn University
11:29 - What are some life skills I can teach my 18 year old this summer? 
14:52 - Emily gives advice for how not to set your college dorm room on fire ;)

15:45 - How do I set my teen up to be supported in their faith while they are away from home

17:23 - Your prayer life is essential to your child’s faith

18:18 - What should my expectations be for how often I talk to my kids while they’re at school? 

22:58 - Be excited for your child as they enter this new phase of life! 

Questions for Discussion:

1. How are you feeling about your child leaving for college? What emotions have surfaced as you prepare for this significant transition, and how are you processing them?
2. How do you think the dynamics in your household will change with your child away at college? Have you thought ahead to how you will navigate that shift? 
3. What challenges do you foresee in balancing guidance and allowing your child to make their own decisions? How do you plan to handle situations where you might need to step back and let them navigate on their own?
4. What are you most excited about for your child as they embark on this new journey? 

Resources:

• Pre-order Karen’s all-new Survival Guide to Motherhood today! Orders ship July 31st: https://amzn.to/3Vr7LlD
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: https://www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

As your kids transition to a new season in their school journey, summer presents a unique opportunity to support and celebrate them. In this episode, we discuss the developmental changes happening at this stage and the importance of letting your middle schooler discover their identity. We also tackle preparing your daughter for dealing with mean girls and how your child evolves during high school years. Plus, we explore the benefits of summer jobs, ways to connect with your son, and setting reasonable expectations for this new season. Tune in for practical tips and encouragement as you navigate this pivotal summer with your child!

Episode Recap:

3:25 - What is changing developmentally as our kids move on from elementary years?

7:14 - Let your middle schooler start to figure out who they are and find their path

13:47 - How do I prepare my daughter for dealing with mean girls? 

20:43 - How are our kids changing as they move into the high school years? 

25:10 - Is having a summer job important? 

28:43 - How can I connect with my son this summer?

31:49 - How do I set reasonable expectations for my child in this new season?

Questions for Discussion:

1. After hearing about the developmental changes our kids go through as they move from elementary to middle and high school, what new insights did you gain about your child’s behavior or needs?
2. What strategies have you used (or do you plan to use) to help your middle schooler begin to figure out who they are and find their path?
3. What are your thoughts on encouraging your child to get a summer job? Do you think it’s important, and why?
4. How do you plan to set reasonable expectations for your child in this new season of middle or high school?
5. What challenges do you foresee in setting these expectations, and how do you plan to address them?

Resources:

• Moments with God for Teenage Girls: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/accessories/products/preorder-teen-devotional
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: https://www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

In this episode, Karen and Emily answer questions about helping prepare your child for their big Kindergarten transition. From building essential skills to creating lasting memories, we've got you covered with tips to make summer fun and to ease you into a new routine this fall. Don’t miss Karen’s life hack for getting those adorable first day of school pictures and her assurance that God goes before your child in every place they go and in every season.

Episode Recap:

2:45 - Emily’s feelings about her daughter going to Kindergarten next year

5:34 - Karen reminisces about Kelsey’s Kindergarten years

6:15 - How can I prepare my household for the Kindergarten transition? 

9:35 - How do you manage tired and worn out kiddos after a (new to them) long day at school?

11:45 - As a working mom, I’m stressed out during the summer. How can I make summer special since Kindergarten will be a change of pace? 

14:05 - Are there practical skills I should be working on with my rising Kindergarteners this summer?

16:50 - What FUN things can we do to mark this milestone in our kids’ lives? 

21:00 - Don’t miss the BEST hack for getting those adorable first day of school pics?

21:45 - Any tips for communication when kids get home from school? 

24:00 - God goes before them in every season! God has your kids.

Questions for Discussion:

1. Does the transition to Kindergarten make you feel excited, anxious, or something else? 
2. What are you looking forward to in this season of your child’s life?
3. What worries can you give to the Lord about this next year? 

Resources:

• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: https://www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Whether you’re parenting toddlers or teens - these 5 books will give you the tools you need to create a healthier family. Join us as we dive into Karen's top recommendations for parenting books that offer invaluable insights, practical strategies, and wisdom to navigate the ups and downs of raising children. From building strong connections to setting boundaries with love, this episode is packed with essential reads for every parent's bookshelf.

Episode Recap:

4:25 - These 5 books truly helped Karen in her parenting journey

5:25 - Personality Plus for Parents unpacks the four temperaments

7:30 - PPP helps you understand the child’s strengths and weaknesses, especially if they are very different from your own

13:21- A Grown Ups Guide to Kids’ Wiring - great for “translating” our kids behavior and helping us speak to them in ways that are more effective 

15:40 - Boundaries book: moms are afraid to set boundaries with our kids, but boundaries bring security

18:17- The Birth Order Book explains how the order of our children and age gaps in our family can help us understand our kids’ behavior and tendencies

22:10 - The Five Love Languages of Children 

28:02 - Honorable Mentions: Survival Guide to Motherhood, Parenting By The Book, Raising Worry-free Girls, Raising Emotionally Strong Boys, Wild Things, Shepherding A Child’s Heart, Parenting Your Powerful Child, The New Strong-Willed Child, Moms on Call Parenting Series

Questions for Discussion:

1. What is the most helpful parenting book you have read to date? Why? 
2. Have you read any of Karen’s Top 5 books? Which one? How has it helped you parent more effectively? 
3. Which of these books do you think would help equip you for the season of parenting you are in? 

Resources:

• Personality Plus for Parents: https://amzn.to/3UHqTdy
• A Grown Ups Guide to Kids’ Wiring: https://amzn.to/3ysKgzi
• Boundaries series of books: 
• https://amzn.to/3ypMYFM
• https://amzn.to/3WFjXA1
• Even Jesus Set Boundaries blog post: https://birdsonawiremoms.com/blog/2019/3/21/even-jesus-set-boundaries
• The Birth Order Book: https://amzn.to/4bypAEl 
• The Five Love Languages of Children: https://amzn.to/4bCFkqe 
• Honorable Mentions: 
• Survival Guide to Motherhood: https://amzn.to/4bysA3z
• Parenting By The Book: https://amzn.to/4bfuR46
• Raising Worry-free Girls: https://amzn.to/4ag7fLj
• Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: https://amzn.to/4dF5hH8 
• Wild Things: https://amzn.to/4dEN2lq
• Shepherding A Child’s Heart: https://amzn.to/3UXO4l4
• Parenting Your Powerful Child: https://amzn.to/44FtB7M
• The New Strong-Willed Child: https://amzn.to/4bgvJWf
• Moms on Call Parenting Series: https://amzn.to/44ClNnn
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

In today’s episode, we’re fielding questions about the situations you are facing in your relationship with your own mom. Whether it’s a conflict over parenting style, a strained relationship, or a concern about childcare, Karen has the practical answers you’re looking for so you can honor your mother while still maintaining your boundaries. 

Episode Recap:

2:31 - Honoring your mom can be difficult when the relationship has not been good 

3:57 - This can be a spiritual battle more than anything

4:40 - How can I help my mom out after the death of my father? 

8:15 - My mom watches my kids weekly and their misbehavior is causing tension between us

13:00 - I’m afraid my mom will resent us choosing daycare, how would you address it? 

16:37- My mom has a new boyfriend and I don’t want to be around his dysfunctional family. What can I do? 

Questions for Discussion:

1. How would you characterize the relationship you have with your mother? Healthy? Distant? Conflicted? Non-existent? 
2. If that is a healthy relationship, what part have you played in keeping it healthy? 
3. If your relationship with your mom is difficult, strained, or unhealthy, how does that impact your mental and spiritual health? 
4. What is one thing you can do to honor your mother this week, no matter what the current state of that relationship is?

Resources:

• Grief podcast with Dr. Judy Wolfe: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wt-159-processing-grief-in-motherhood-with-judy-wolfe/id1101953069?i=1000436874170
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Fear and anxiety among moms today is rampant. In the emails we receive, the churches we visit, and with the moms Karen speaks to- fear is a big deal. Today Karen teaches us a powerful verse and reminds us to fight fear with the truth of God’s Word.

Episode Recap:

5:32 - Generally speaking, moms these days are incredibly fearful

6:23 - If fear does not come from God, where is it coming from?

8:27 - I want to trust my family to watch my kids, but feel like I should be scared of letting others watch them based on what I hear in society

12:12 - Help! I worry about all the “what ifs” in life

16:23 - Every evening my anxiety spikes and fear persists

19:33 - My son struggles with fear and I find it hard to understand or be compassionate

Questions for Discussion:

1. Do you struggle with fear in your life? Have you ever contemplated 2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”?
2. Do you truly believe that God loves your child and is actively pursuing your child’s heart? 
3. How can you fight fear with the Word of God this week? Some ideas: memorize it, write it out and post it around your home, play worship music, etc. 
4. How are you praying for your child and your home this week? 

Resources:

• 2 Timothy 1:7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+tim+1%3A7&version=ESV 
• Sissy Goff’s The Worry-Free Parent: https://amzn.to/3QcTp5e
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms  and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

May is coming moms - and it’s full of school commitments, parties, end of year events and more. Today we’re talking about what you can do before the chaos begins to prepare yourself and your family for a more peaceful May. 

Episode Recap:

7:36 - You can’t do everything for everybody

10:58 - Find the beauty in letting your Senior go

12:50 - Stay present and enjoy it!

16:25 - Find time for self-care

18:53 - Involve your husband in the to-do list 

Questions for Discussion:

1. What does your calendar look like as you look ahead to May? What can you do this week to protect your time and account for the busyness ahead?
2. From 0-10, how are you doing with self-care right now? What little things can you incorporate into your day and week that help you feel like you?
3. When was the last time you spent time alone praying and reading your Bible or just connecting with God? Can you make time for that this week? 

Resources:

• Karen’s 365 day devotional for moms: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/accessories/products/copy-of-moments-with-god-for-moms-daily-devotional-faux-leather
• Related episode: Preparing Your Senior for College - https://birdsonawiremoms.com/podcast/episode158
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today Courtney DeFeo, host of the Pardon the Mess podcast and a dear friend of Karen’s joins us to talk about raising her daughters. They talk about the season when Courtney felt God calling her to take a break from the professional world - which turned into a 3 year pause. Courtney shares what God did in her world during those years and the new season she is moving into now. She and Karen also share how motherhood uncovered their deep-seated selfishness and how the Lord has worked in their hearts to enable them to celebrate their husband’s successes. We know Courtney’s story will encourage you today! 

Episode Recap:

2:40 - How Courtney and Karen know one another

4:25 - Courtney’s family and work history 

9:55 - God called Courtney to take a complete break from work

13:53 - Just as He told her when to get out, He told her when to get back in

15:58 - Motherhood taught them how selfish they were

21:20- Being jealous of their husbands’ careers and successes

24:19 - Separating her children’s struggles from her responsibilities

30:45 - Pause and pray when you are tempted to jump in and fix the situation

32:58 - Learning not to overcommit

34:17 - Seeing how God has been faithful and brought women into her children’s lives to encourage their faith

Questions for Discussion:

1. Have you ever felt God calling you to a season of rest?  
2. Is there any tension in your relationship with work right now? 
3. Do you feel like you compete with your husband when it comes to your career or your success in life?
4. Do you struggle with feeling guilty or responsible for the struggles your children are going through?
5. What is something God has taught you through your journey of motherhood?

Resources:

• Courtney’s podcast: Pardon the Mess: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pardon-the-mess-with-courtney-defeo/id1424241361
• Ephesians 3:18: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%203%3A18&version=NIV
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today we’re answering Bible questions you might feel silly asking out loud! This episode is full of insights across a breadth of biblical topics. Be sure to check out the show notes for every scripture reference Karen mentions! We hope this one encourages you to pick up your Bible, pray for wisdom, and get reading this week!  

Episode Recap:

1:45 - Emily’s confusion over multiple James and Johns in the New Testament

4:30 - Is everything all white in heaven? Where does that stereotype come from? 

9:43 - What did the “judges” do in biblical times? 

13:04 - Why do we tithe? Where does God command it? 

15:50 - Help me straighten out all the ‘Marys’ in the New Testament! 

19:03 - Why do so many Bible characters go by two different names? 

21:30- What’s the difference between the Pharisees and the Sadducees?

23:20 - Where does the phrase, “for this child I have prayed” come from?

26:00 - Why do we obey the Ten Commandments but not the Levitical law? 

28:30 - Help! Reading the Bible confuses me! 

31:20 - Tools for studying the Bible

Questions for Discussion:

1. Did you learn anything new from this episode? 
2. What tools do you currently use when you study the Bible? 
3. Are there any “silly” Bible questions that came to mind as you listened to this conversation? What are they? 

Resources:

• Karen’s study Bible: https://amzn.to/4aGhFVP 
• John McArthur’s Revelation study: https://amzn.to/4aowoo8
• References to the color white in heaven (in the order Karen mentions them): Revelation 3:4-5, 6:11, 7:9&13, 19:8&14, Matthew 17:2, 28:3, Revelation 4:4, 6:2, 7:14
• References to color in heaven: Revelation 21:16-21
• Tithing Scripture: Malachi 3:10 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Malachi%203%3A10&version=NIV
• Mary who poured perfume on Jesus’ feet Matthew 26:7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+26%3A7&version=NIV
• Name change references: Genesis 17:5, 15, 32:2, Acts 13:9
• Hannah’s prayer of thanksgiving: 1 Samuel 1:27 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+samuel+1%3A27&version=NIV
• Luke 22:19-20, John 14:6
• The Bible Recap podcast & study tools: https://www.thebiblerecap.com/
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite 
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms