Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic Adults

This is a 5-minute movement practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, a gentle follow-along for the end of the day.

If your body has been holding tension since the morning, from sitting or from masking around other people all day, this practice is for loosening some of that.

This isn't a workout or a stretch routine. I offer some easy options, shaking out your hands, rolling your shoulders, some slow neck and torso movements, reaching up, and then a moment to add whatever movement your own body is asking for. Everything is an invitation, so move in whatever way works for you and skip anything that doesn't. Your body might feel a bit looser at the end, or about the same, and both are fine.

0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for

2:01 The practice begins

7:54 Coming back to the room

8:24 Outro

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

Interrupting can go wrong for autistic and AuDHD adults in two very different ways, and the usual advice to just speak up only helps with one of them. In this episode I go through why a thought can vanish the moment someone cuts in, why jumping into a group conversation might not work for a lot of us, and what I've tried for both.

I describe the two different situations involved with this idea, and then I go through a handful of options I've tried, for one-on-one conversations and for group settings, including one that came out of improv and one that I think is the least ideal but still counts. I also give you a test to run over the week for whether any of this is helping, or whether it's just more masking, which you might not want more of in your life.

• Why a thought can disappear completely the moment you get interrupted, and when that tends to happen
• Why waiting for the right pause in a group conversation can cost so much afterward
• What to say to a trusted person so you can keep the floor while you work a thought out
• How to get an assist in a group setting when jumping in on your own isn't available to you
• A test for whether your speaking up strategy is helping or just adding more masking

0:00 Two ways interrupting goes wrong for autistic brains

1:33 What this episode covers

3:09 Losing your train of thought mid-sentence

4:43 Why verbal processing makes the thought disappear

7:17 Where monotropic attention might come into it

7:59 The other problem: waiting for a pause that doesn't come

9:05 Why so many of us hold back

10:51 The empathy gap and unwritten rules

11:57 AAC, speech that changes, and timing

12:41 Corrections growing up and as an adult

15:24 Why interrupting isn't equally safe for every person in the room

16:32 Options for one-on-one conversations

18:07 Options for a group: asking for an assist

19:14 Practising the flow, and the masking question

20:29 Where improv came in for me

21:59 Practising letting go, with a strategy

23:29 A test for the week

24:56 Outro

The double empathy gap (double empathy problem), more information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_empathy_problem

Monotropism: https://monotropism.org

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This is a 10-minute tracking practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, built for anyone who has tried somatics (noticing body sensations) or mindfulness and come out more dysregulated than when they started.

If sitting down to watch your thoughts or scan your body for sensations has ever left you feeling worse, this is another way in, another way to try this out.

I guide you through noticing a series of different things without deciding whether any of them is good, bad, pleasant, or unpleasant. We start somewhere other than a body sensation, because that's a hard place to read for a lot of us, and move through thoughts, sounds, energy, and a colour, scent, picture, or words. Every indicator can be external or internal, and "I don't know" (or even "whatever, Jen") is a completely valid answer throughout.

0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for

2:52 The practice begins

7:04 Coming back to the room

8:05 Outro

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

Autistic unmasking is a healthy thing, and it can still get you read as a jerk, intimidating, or angry when you never meant any of that. In this episode I talk about what happens when you unmask as an autistic or AuDHD adult and other people misread your intention.

A lot of us hear the same words from other people. Intense. Blunt. Too direct. Intimidating. I get into how that connects to the way autistic communication actually works, what the research says about the misunderstanding, and why it shows up so much in autistic and AuDHD social life. I share a personal story about growing up knowing my brain worked like my dad's, a worry I carried for years about being a certain kind of person because of it, and a therapy conversation after he died that half-answered the question.

This one is part teaching and part storytelling, for anyone doing the slow work of being more themselves around other people.

• Why unmasking can get your intentions read as jerk, angry, or intimidating
• What the research on autistic communication says about misunderstandings
• The therapy conversation I had about being like my dad
• The intention versus impact question
• How to think about masking and unmasking as choices you get to make

0:00 Unmasking is good, and you can still be read as a jerk

0:57 What this episode covers, and what unmasking really is

2:28 The misreads autistic and AuDHD adults keep hitting

3:54 Why autistic communication works fine with the right people

6:03 The time someone told me I was intimidating

7:29 Growing up knowing my brain was like my dad's

10:59 The concentrating face that gets read as anger

14:34 The pop psychology take on intention

17:15 The choices on your unmasking journey

19:56 Where to find more

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This is a 10-minute grounding reset for autistic and AuDHD adults, a follow-along practice for after a long day of masking. If you've masked all day at work, at an event, or out running errands, and you've come home depleted, in a crash or a shutdown, this practice is for that thing.

I guide you through settling in and then a gentle check-in with a few places masking tends to leave tension. You can do the noticing externally or internally, whichever one you have access to, so it works whether or not you get clear signals from inside your body. There's no fixing here, just noticing what's already there, and neutral is a completely valid result.

0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for

2:08 The practice begins

8:13 Coming back to the room

9:05 Outro

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

I've taken a lot of courses on nervous system regulation, and most of them left out autistic and AuDHD brains with alexithymia and low interoception. And never a very clear idea about what so-called "regulation" truly even means. In this episode I talk through how I build my own "regulation" system, one that fits the way my brain actually works and doesn't involve trying to figure out what is regulated and what isn't!

When neurodivergence came up in these courses at all, the model being discussed stayed the same and the activities stayed the same, so anyone with a different wiring still had to figure it out on our own (or realize their models were still harmful despite having a "neurodivergent" component).

I explain what interoception and alexithymia are, and why they make a lot of standard somatic and regulation advice hard to follow. I go through the idea of a personal baseline and how you can move away from it depending on where you are and who you're with. I also cover why aiming to stay calm as much as possible might not be realistic or healthy for some of our brains.

Finally, I talk about why every person's reactions and baselines are normal and specific to them, and I walk through a simple way to start building a system that fits your own needs. This is the approach I use myself, and it lines up with established models like the CRM HelpNow skills, just ... improved?... so it works for a wider range of brains.

• Why so much standard regulation and somatics advice leaves autistic and AuDHD people out
• What you can notice even when you can't feel clear sensations in your body
• How to work out your own baseline, and why it changes with context
• What the goal of staying calm all the time can cost some of us
• How to start building a regulation system from your own specific needs

0:00 Why standard regulation and somatics courses left me out

1:55 When courses mention us but change nothing

5:58 What you can notice when body sensations aren't clear

8:44 Why staying calm all the time might not be the goal

14:05 Why everyone's reactions and baselines are normal and their own

16:25 The suggestion: build a system that fits you

18:29 How to actually start, one situation at a time

• Neurodivergent Somatics by Nyck Walsh (book) https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324082910
• Nyck Walsh's Neurodivergent Somatics practitioner course

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This is a 10-minute regulation practice for autistic and AuDHD adults that uses a chosen passion as the resource. If you're generally worn down and looking for a reset, bringing your interest to mind on purpose can do some of that work for you.

You don't need to be doing the interest to get something from it, so this one suits the days when you can't get to your passion, and you're welcome to hold an object from it or look at a photo on your phone while we go. It works whether your interest arrives as a clear image, a set of facts, the feeling of being deep in the activity with nothing to see, or something in between those.

I also spend part of the practice on permission, since many late diagnosed autistic adults learned early on to hide how much they love their interests, and this is a thing you're allowed to love and allowed to talk about. A neutral result counts as a result, so nothing here depends on you feeling different by the end.

CHAPTERS

0:00 Safety note and how this practice works

2:57 Settling in and starting the practice

8:35 Coming back to the room

9:36 Outro

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

Autistic burnout is hard enough, and a lot of us add a second layer on top of it, performing recovery for other people while we're still deep in it. I talk through why that extra masking happens and what makes it possible to stop.

The performance looks like telling people (even the professionals!) you're getting better on the schedule they expect and saying you're fine to get out of a conversation you don't have the energy for, sometimes without even knowing whether what you're saying is true. I get into why the usual recovery model, that straight line from session one to session two to getting better, doesn't fit autistic burnout, which moves sideways and backwards on its own timeline.

I talk about what happens when we try to explain ourselves to people who see burnout through a neuro-normative lens (and this is almost universally true in the wellness industry! because NOTHING includes our autistic experience, brains or reality), why not being believed is so much of what put us there, and why masking through it is still a valid choice.

Then I get into what changes when you have people who actually understand autistic burnout, and why you don't owe anyone the psychoeducation, or answers to questions that don't fit your brain like the one-to-ten scale.

• Why so many of us mask on top of autistic burnout by performing recovery
• How the standard linear recovery model sets you up to feel like you're failing
• What not being believed has to do with landing in burnout and staying there
• What actually changes when the person you talk to has been through it themselves
• Why you don't owe anyone the one-to-ten scale or the education about your own brain

0:00 The extra masking layer on top of autistic burnout

3:13 Why performing recovery is its own kind of masking

4:46 Why autistic burnout goes sideways and backwards

5:47 Why the wellness world keeps missing autistic burnout

6:50 The exhaustion of explaining and not being believed

9:40 Explaining or masking, and the cost of each

11:38 Who it's actually possible to be honest with

14:38 Why you don't owe anyone the education

16:19 Pacing yourself on your own terms

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This is a 10-minute grounding practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, made for the end of a day with heavy masking in it. If you're home now and still revved up, or just completely worn out, this is the one for you.

I walk you through bringing a place to mind where nothing is asked of you, with no small talk, no performance, no masking, and no alternate version of yourself to keep running. It works whether that place arrives as a clear picture, or if visual imagination isn't something you want to or can work with, it can instead be a felt sense, sounds and textures, or somewhere you simply know is there, so it suits minds that don't produce images.

Use this practice after work, after a social event, or after any stretch of tracking faces and managing your voice all day. By the end you'll have a place you can bring back to mind in a stressful moment, and a neutral result counts as a result, because there's no right or wrong version of this.

CHAPTERS

0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for

2:50 Settling into where you actually are

9:50 Coming back to the room

10:33 Outro

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can hit hard and fast over something you didn't even want, and knowing it makes no sense doesn't slow it down or stop the darn thing. I talk through my own RSD as an AuDHD adult and the decisions I've made to keep it from costing me as much.

RSD works like a voice that tells you a person, a group, or the whole world is singling you out and rejecting you, even when you can logically say, in the moment, that it isn't true. I go through the two categories I sort my own RSD into, the personal situations that involve specific people and the impersonal ones like download numbers or a general lack of inclusion, and I explain how I decide which ones to keep and which ones I can adjust or opt out of. Decisions! I also cover why I make these calls on purpose, and why safety and value look different for everyone.

• Why RSD can fire hard over something you knew you didn't want
• The two categories I sort my RSD into, and how the sort changes what I do next
• How I decide whether an activity is worth the rejection risk or worth opting out of
• Why the same reaction can have a different flavour depending on the rest of your life
• What saving your energy in advance does for the rejections you can't avoid

0:00 What RSD is and why you can't talk it down

2:02 The limited science, and why it's not a diagnosis

2:38 Why it can leave you feeling like the jerk

4:59 Sorting RSD into personal and impersonal

5:37 The birthday decision as an example

8:32 Running the analysis and deciding what to opt out of

9:55 Adjusting an activity so it carries less RSD

11:29 Saving your energy for the rejections you can't avoid

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

• We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz
• We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd
• Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk
• Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer