This is a juicy one. Lauren (my podcast manager) felt that my Valentine’s episode didn’t cover enough of the dirt so here it is: dating in your 30s, casual sex, dating apps, paying for the first date etc. Strap yourselves in.

Only one things for certain regarding dating and navigating romantic relationships. It is NOT a one size fits all situation. In this podcast, I share my thoughts, feeling and opinions but bear in mind, what makes me happy in a relationship could be your worst nightmare.

• Have dating apps had their moment? Are they still useful to actually meet your significant other today?
• Dating apps have a success rate of 20%. Would you use a laundry detergent that only worked 20% of the time?
• Would you marry for money? or for the lifestyle a man could provide you?
• Should the man pay on a first date or should the cost be split 50-50?
• Is casual sex harmless or harmful? When is casual sex not ok?
• How do you actually meet your future partner/wife/husband?
• What are your non-negotiables when you’re dating?
• Do you have sex on the first date?
• How much independence do you require in a relationship?
• Do you know what you want in your future partner? Do you have clear green flags and red flags?

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. We’re all different. Different strokes for different folks. Email [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram.

I’m running a very special workshop next week to fundraise for Menstruation Matters in light of International Women’s Day. The workshop is happening next Wednesday 6th March at 6pm via Zoom and is around using your voice. As women in patriarchal world, we naturally meet a lot of resistance in speaking our truth but it’s important that we are supported to be seen and heard. Join us to support yourself and contribute to a worthy cause. Tickets are £10.

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

Have you ever wondered who you’ll be thinking about on your deathbed? Which loves will have touched your soul to the point that they’ll always stay with you until you leave this world? “The trouble with love is that it lasts forever.” - Hayden Kayes

Love isn’t always romantic. The love experienced through friendship is deeply impactful. “When you're looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind.” - Dolly Alderton

In this episode:

• Tales of my travels: More drama with visas in Bali
• Exploring cultural differences during a bikini wax
• Carla's take on what a 'Great Love' is, shares from listeners and an insight into her greatest loves
• The difference between attachment and romantic love
• The collective healing being undertaken to heal lineages because we all deserve to be loved

I’m running a retreat in the beautiful Donegal this summer. I am so excited for phenomenal food, comfy beds, the smell of the ocean and a tribe of women attending to themselves for the weekend. June 7-9th. Secure your spot before they're gone!

Let me know what romantic gestures you give or receive this Valentine’s - they don’t need to be to a partner! The love you hold for friends and family is just as precious, cherish it. DM me on Instagram or email [email protected].

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

I would love to have children some day. I am a single women of 36 years. Pregnancies’ over 40 are considered geriatric. So I’ve began to weigh up my options…

There is SO much conflicting advice, stories, opinions, experiences when it comes to fertility. I firmly believe there’s no correct answer - only the choice that’s right for you. It’s a big decision and a difficult one to make… so I want to start the conversation and share my thoughts.

Expect to hear about:

• My thoughts and coming to a decision on whether or not to freeze my eggs
• Some science & stats to understand fertility rates and chance of success with IVF
• How we are the guinea pigs of contraception. The medical world has historically failed to look after women. Why isn't more being done?
• The importance of breaking the taboo. No matter what your choice or situation is, speaking about it and sharing your experience will help. Child free, infertile, etc.

I’m running a retreat in the beautiful Donegal this summer. I am so excited for phenomenal food, comfy beds, the smell of the ocean and a tribe of women attending to themselves for the weekend. June 7-9th. Secure your spot before they're gone!

I’d love to hear from you if you’ve any thoughts on fertility or experiences to share based on the decisions you’ve made regarding having children. DM me on Instagram or email [email protected].

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse. Some viewers may find this episode distressing

My first guest, Robyn Dylan, shares her phenomenal story of how breathwork helped her overcome the complex trauma she’d been carrying her whole life. Robyn’s childhood was troubled and when she did muster up the bravery to share her truth, she was silenced.

She spent years in talk therapies, where she felt like she was rehashing the same story without seeing any change. Stumbling upon breathwork gave her access to tap into the innate wisdom of the body to start looking after herself, regulating her nervous system and dealing with her past on a much deeper level - on a somatic rather then intellectual level.

As someone who wasn’t seen or heard, she now feels it’s her duty to see and validate people’s stories. She helps them heal by listening, acknowledging and through breathwork modalities such as Rebirthing, Buteyko, CCB and TRE.

In this episode, Robyn & Carla discuss:

• Robyn's story. Overcoming a traumatic childhood with the help of breathwork
• The impact of not being seen, heard or validated
• An insightful link between the secrecy that usually surrounds abuse in families, and the suffering of the Palestinians
• Seeking power. The psychology behind why people hurt and traumatise others
• Robyn's go-to breathwork practises & why she believes in breathing through your nose

If you’d like to connect with or reach to to Robyn, you can check out her website and follow her on Instagram.

My DMs are always open on Instagram or you can email [email protected].

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Rape Crisis Northern IrelandPhone: 0800 0246 991

Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline in Northern IrelandPhone: 0808 802 1414

The Rainbow Project – LGBT+ Health OrganisationPhone: 028 9031 9030

Gender Jam - Support for young trans, non-binary, questioning and intersex peoplePhone: 028 9099 68 19

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Music: Triple Point by Swoose

“Shame cannot survive when spoken and met with empathy” - Brene Brown

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse

I’m sharing my experience with you because there’s people that never received the education, help or support to be able to speak their own truth. My hope is for each person to get the chance to speak and be seen, held and supported in their lifetime.

Sometimes when we're not conscious of how much we're suffering or how much keeping something inside is affecting us, we don't know until it's outside of us.

Expect to hear about:

• Surf life in Bali - What I'm learning as a Beginner
• What happened to me as a child and how I coped
• How talk therapy helped me understand the shame I was carrying
• How everyone experiences shames - and from so many different sources
• The importance of identifying shame within yourself and how to release it

I NEED YOUR HELP !!!

We’re coming to the end of Season One of Wise Yourself Up. I have adored creating this podcast and have so many more episodes I want to release but we need to get the baby to roll onto it’s belly for a second season to be viable. If you love the podcast and want it to continue, PLEASE tell everyone, subscribe, share on your stories. Thank you so much.

If there’s anything you’d like to share, DM me on Instagram or email [email protected].

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Rape Crisis Northern Ireland

https://rapecrisisni.org.uk

Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline in Northern Ireland

Phone: 0808 802 1414

Website: dsahelpline.org

The Rainbow Project – LGBT+ Health Organisation

Phone: 028 9031 9030

Website: rainbow-project.org

Gender Jam - Support for young trans, non-binary, questioning and intersex people

Phone: 028 9099 68 19

Email: [email protected]

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse

Your earliest experiences stay with you. In the past people thought that what children didn’t understand, wouldn’t affect them. Now we know that that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Babies are inherently SELFISH. They will always internalise their experience and make it about them. Which is why we develop core wounds in our childhood… that then show up as our default reactions to situations in adulthood.

In this episode:

• What somatic therapy is and what it’s about
• How my therapist implored me to heal my inner child
• The impact in adulthood of my core wound
• How EVERYONE has trauma; even if your childhood was great
• How it impacts you and how you can begin to heal

Today is the last day to join the Wave Effect if you want to work on this stuff in a small safe container. We start tonight at 9pm.

If you want to see a second season of Wise Yourself Up, I really need your help getting this baby (the podcast) to roll onto it’s belly. PLEASE subscribe, share, tell all your mates.

If you’ve any shares on contraception, I’d love to hear for next week’s episode (all anonymous)! DM me on Instagram or email [email protected].

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

Every healer I’ve met has said the same thing: self love is the key to it all. If you’re anything like I was a few years ago, you might find that well and good, but are lost when it comes to HOW to love yourself…

…you attend. The highest form of love is to attend to yourself. To be, honour and listen to yourself without judgement. It’s often not easy

In this episode:

• Pushing myself out of my comfort zone in Bali
• A recap of my 2023 - which was a mess
• How sharing our experiences helps to make the process of grief normal
• Accepting the need to learn to love myself
• The biggest indication of lack of self love
• Common examples of a lack of self love
• First steps to loving yourself
• The power of healing in community

I've designed a course with everything I know, with all my lived experience, to help women who really want to love themselves more, who really need it. It begins next Wednesday, 10th Jan if you want to join: Wave Effect 2.0

You can get a taste of what it’ll be like by trying my free 3-day mini-course for beginners.

Let me know your craic! I’d love to hear from you. DM me on Instagram or email [email protected]

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

The practices that I teach have changed my life, they saved me. And they’ve saved so many others. I never in a million years thought I would be devoting my life to encouraging people to learn to breathe deeply and to do less and be still. But here we are!

In my opinion, meditation is THE most beneficial skill for self love, connection and health but many of us find it very difficult to learn. The problem is that we can't hear our own inner voice, our own inner desires, our dreams, because the thoughts are so busy. The most beneficial thing for our bodies, for our health is to relax. But most of us don't truly relax.

Expect to hear about:

• Why I left my marketing job to teach self care practices
• Why meditation is so difficult for so many of us
• How 90% of us are breathing poorly and the impact this is having
• The importance of learning to breathe before learning to meditate
• Why learning to sit with yourself, to attend to yourself, is the highest form of self love
• You must love yourself first before you can share that love with anyone else

I have a free 3-day mini-course for beginners! Each session is 7 minutes of movement, 7 minutes of breathwork and 7 minutes of journaling.

Learn to attend to yourself. Join me every day for the month of January. Wave Effect 2.0

Tell me all your 2024 plans, I need some inspiration! DM me on Instagram or email [email protected]

When people experience traumatic events, they disconnect for their body as a tool to survive. In order to heal, you must reconnect to the body when you’re ready and connect to the whole of you. Yoga is a POWERFUL tool to do so.

The word yoga means union. The union of the mind, body and soul. And the research supports the power of yoga to reduce symptoms of PTSD.

In this episode:

• My travels and very nearly NOT getting into Bali!
• Why I hated the idea of yoga and how my mindset held me back
• Being prescribed yoga for Complex PTSD in order to reconnect to my body
• My best advice for beginners
• My two favourite teachings from the philosophy of yoga

Check out my free 3-day mini-course on learning to be with your breath for absolute beginners!

Let me know where you stand: are you allergic to yoga or do you love it? DM me on Instagram or email [email protected]

Tune in next week to hear about why my career is devoted to helping you to be still. Have a wonderful Christmas!

Music: Triple Point by Swoose

“Grief is eternal because so is love” - Tara Brach

Please note that this is a heavy topic; you may find the content emotionally intense.

Grief is a lifelong journey. When you feel the pain of loss, you feel the closeness you shared with that person; the love you had for them.

Death and grief cut deep scars in all of us when we lose the ones we love. Our capitalist society doesn’t support us in tending to those wounds so I want to share my experience, advice, tools I’ve used and what I’ve learned.

I talk about:

• The challenge to find space for grief in a fast-paced, capitalist world
• My journey, the beliefs and practices that have helped me
• The eternal nature of grief as a testament to the enduring power of love
• Practical resources to prepare for death and cope with grief

Connecting with the body's innate ability to grieve, love, let go, and restoreShared experiences of grief from my community

Thank you so much to everyone who was open, vulnerable and shared on this topic. Please keep your messages coming in. I love the community we’re building. DM me on Instagram or email [email protected]

Check out my January courses, Wave Effect 1.0 and Wave Effect 2.0; designed to help regulate emotions and foster self-connection, especially during challenging periods like grief.

Chat to you next week!

Music: Triple Point by Swoose