If you were hoping for a big battle scene this week after last week’s army muster, well, too bad! Instead of marching his awesome new army into battle, God continues to coach the tribe of Levi in interior decoration and puts in place some very unusual (and badly named) rituals for getting past the velvet rope to his club. He then throws a fun date night idea into the mix: All you need is a suspicious spouse, a measure of barley, and an inkstand full of blood. The episode wraps with a showy parade of 12 identical offerings for the Tabernacle and cuts off just as God is about to say something interesting for once. (Numbers 4:21–7:89)

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