#WithChude

How do you escape a toxic relationship or marriage?

How do you even identify it in the first place? What are the signs? 

What do you do when you are in it? 

And how do you rebuild your life when you come out of it?

My guests over the years have shared deeply and honestly about this - and we have a special YouTube episode with some of the most powerful stories. 

It’s now up on @WithChude on YouTube and on withChude.com. 

Let me know your thoughts below. 

❤

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I stumbled upon a Steve Hills (Stephen Ogbonna Orijinta) live worship session on YouTube a few months ago after watching a video of EbukaSongz - and I caught the fire! 

Immersing myself in viral hit ‘Fire and Light (The Supernatural Anthem)’ was like jumping two-feet first into Heaven on Earth. 

I am Fire! I am Light! I am Glory, oh! The Supernatural!

I immediately changed all my plans for our annual The Music Playlist episode - I wanted to experience this fire live; and to experience this special anointing that I am certain will take over the world next year. 

The full worship session is up on @WithChude YouTube and the session plus interview are exclusively on withChude.com!

This is my Christmas gift to myself - and to you ❤.

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When Shopsydoo’s (Adesope Olajide) father came to visit him in the UK he couldn’t believe the life his son was living. He asked him - “You left a life as a prince to come and live like a pauper here?”

But he stuck with his dreams for himself and his family. 

Now, no major Afrobeats concert in Europe and the United Kingdom is complete without Adesope. He is of the country’s biggest hype men and MCs.  

We talk about how that industry and that sound has changed over the years - from 2face and Psquare to Rema and Fireboy - changed the world and changed his life. 

“Black women didn’t want to date us because we had Nigerian accents,” he tells me. “But now, because of Afrobeats it is now mainstream to be African, to come from Africa, to be part of the culture.”

He says he will forgive Tiwa Savage and Wizkid because these pioneers made it possible for this change to happen.

And he tells me the greatest lessons he has learnt from the great successes and great failures of Nigeria’s music industry. 

Consider this a masterclass.

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There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a ‘hard guy’ get vulnerable and open hearted. 

Blaqbonez (Emeka Akumefule) is one of Nigeria’s brightest rappers and he has often been called controversial. But this interview we see a side we have never seen before, as this ‘hard guy’ gets vulnerable and open hearted.

We start from his dad who simply disappeared from the house while he was young and hasn’t apologised or explained since then.

He tells me about how his mother survived the stigma of being a single parent, and worked a maid to help him get a good life. 

He says he has forgiven his father, but then 

he sees that influence from his in his life - breaking up a relationship despite being in love because he doesn’t think he can be monogamous and he didn’t want to ruin the perfect life of his girlfriend.  

That influence also scares him from making any woman pregnant - making his take extreme measures to avoid that. 

Underneath all it is in an introverted, thoughtful, sensitive young man who wants to avoid the mistake of his parents, build a life of happiness was and make those around him happy if he can. 

In between the talk of Don Jazzy, Victor, MI, Terry Tha Raman, his missing Headies plaque, stream farms and controversy, this is the beauty of Blaqbonez that shine through. 

It’s one of my best conversations yet. 

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Titi Oyinsan (known then as ‘Titi Fanta’) was famous as one of hottest models in Nigeria. But while she was working hard as a model, there were the rumours that her trips and lifestyle were being funded by men. 

Titi says she didn’t care - she was focused on building a life for herself and her family, who had been duped by the man who they sent money to while they were in the UK. They were so badly duped that when they returned to Nigeria, they could only afford a place in Mushin, Lagos. 

That focus has led to building a sparkling 20-year career as a TV host, a radio host, producer and author. 

Then exclusively, she shares for the first time ever a harrowing experience of sexual abuse while she was in school, and how she overcame that dark experience and built a marriage and a home over the past 10 years.

She also shares why she can never deny that the TV icon, Denrele Edun was her boyfriend for over two years - because he absolutely changed her life. 

This, was a beautiful conversation.

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Pastors Emmanuel and Laju Iren are a gospel power couple. They are one of the most influential pastors for the Gen Z generation and one of Nigeria’s most influential gospel figures today. And this year marks 10 years of their marriage. 

Laju says she is a fan of our work here at #WithChude, but I told her I am a bigger fan of hers. She is a pioneer - pushing the boundaries of gospel content from Nigeria. Her films have been on Amazon Prime, she has built a solid community on YouTube, and she has built a powerful technology-driven independent distributor for her films, making tens of millions in the process. 

This is a woman fully aware of her place and power in the world today.

We talk about how she and her husband have built their marriage - struggling with how to communicate at first, but learning how to do it. She says her husband may not be the kind that does her breakfast in the morning, but he is her biggest champion.

She tells me practically how she manages her work as a filmmaker, her calling as a pastor (and a pastor’s wife) and the not-small task of raising four children. She says - do not be deceived, she gets a lot of help. Her honesty is striking. 

She tells me how she learnt to separate God’s word from her own peculiar experiences - the first cannot be moved, but the second depends on your life and circumstances and should not be imposed on others. 

I ask for her response to those who accuse them of running a business while being pastors, I ask her if they have any regrets for the times they have ‘clapped back’ at critics on social media and we talk about “the darkness in the world today.” 

Ah, this conversation was sweet. Too many shekere moments. She is a delight.

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Peace Lotus says she was with Bimbo the late wife of popular car seller, IK “IVD” Ogbonna on the day when she was set on fire - leading to her death. 

She shared the exclusive videos to the blogs that went viral and called the attention of the public to the plight of her friend. 

For the first time ever, she tells me the story of what she saw and experienced on that terrible day. 

She says she saw Bimbo after she was set on fire and then she drove Bimbo - with her body incinerated - from her home to four hospitals across Lagos, begging for them to accept her. They all rejected her until the Gbagada Hospital finally accepted her. 

She drove for over 9 hours, she says, while the husband insisted on leaving his wife and escaping, and then threatened to assault Peace if she didn’t stop trying to help his wife. All the while, Bimbo kept begging her husband: “Please say the truth” and begging her friend: “Please don’t leave me. Please don’t let me die.”

Bimbo sadly passed a few days after - leaving behind 5 children and after 16 years of marriage to her husband. 

The case was taken to court shortly after and IK remains innocent until proven otherwise. 

But as the case finally comes up for a new hearing after more than a year of no update, Peace says there is no sign her late friend is going to get justice anytime soon. 

The story she tells is a horrible one.  

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The ‘Super Story’ song is one of the most viral tunes our country has seen. The singer, Essence (Okoro Uwale) has one of the most beautiful voices you have ever had. 

But for some time, she disappeared from the mainstream and I wanted to know what exactly was going on with her. 

For her first interview in a very long time, we had one of the most wholesome conversations you will watch - about loss, self-love, and learning to be at peace with yourself even if things don’t go the way you want it. 

In between, she gives me exclusive updates about the song Super Story - the fact she didn’t sign a contract, how much she was paid, and how things were done “back then”. 

She also spoke to the persistent silly rumors about an intimate relationship between her and her mentor and collaborator, Kenny St. Best. 

And then we speak about her faith, her new music, and how she has become totally at peace with herself and with life.

“I was called a noisemaker as a child and so I started whispering,” she said to me. “But now, I no longer whisper.”

Boom! This one’s a must watch. 

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