WOE.BEGONE

It's good to be king.

[Warning: This episode contains depictions of violence, death, and choking. Listener discretion is advised.]

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Happy Halloween. Season 19 continues next week. Thanks for playing.

CREDITS:

Written by Ben Rowe, David Ault, and Dylan Griggs

Ben Rowe as Felix

David Ault as Ty Betteridge

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An entire town… gone. Without a trace. No signs, no warnings. Just silence. This is the story of Cold Sparrow.

Twenty-four years ago, the peaceful town of Cold Sparrow became the center of one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in modern history. Every resident vanished. Among them, the enigmatic billionaire Benjamin Veers, whose strange ways made him an icon of intrigue. The town, once forgotten, now infamous. The questions? Endless. The answers? Nonexistent.

For over two decades, investigators have been left baffled—cults, kidnappings, disappearances—none have led them closer to the truth. But now, three celebrated private investigators—famous for bringing down one of the most dangerous cults in history—have been called upon to tackle this mystery. Known for taking on the cases no one else could solve, they’re determined to uncover what really happened in Cold Sparrow.

Yet, the deeper they dig, the darker the whispers become. Rumours swirl of something far more sinister than anyone ever imagined. Could the mystery of Cold Sparrow be tied to forces that reach far beyond our world? Could it be linked to something… infernal?

Some mysteries, once uncovered, may be better left untouched. Cold Sparrow: A town that disappeared… but something still lingers in the shadows.

The investigation begins… now.

Episode Description:

Three private detectives investigate the mystery of Cold Sparrow - a town that's entire population disappeared without a trace over twenty years ago. Together, the detectives seek to unravel the town's mysteries and find the enigmatic Benjamin Veers, an eccentric billionaire who resided in the once picturesque town.

Credits:

Written by Mark Anzalone

Edited by Walker Kornfeld

Sound mastering by Steven J. Anzalone

--

Mace voiced by Steven Zivic

Leon voiced by Sam Stark

Phyllis voiced by Aubrey Akers

Benjamin Veers voiced by Mark Anzalone

Edward Veers voiced by Mark Anzalone

Charlie Prist voiced by Mark Anzalone

--

Intro music by Steven Anzalone

Music and Sound effects are licensed from third party providers including Envato, Epidemic Sound, Artlist, Soundstripe, Melody Loops, Pond 5, Soundcrate, Music Vine, Youtube, Melodie, Slipstream, and Storyblocks

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One of those "bereaved things."

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It must all be some big misunderstanding. 

[Warning: This episode contains a depiction of drowning. Listener discretion is advised.]

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I don’t think that I want to time travel again for a very very long time.

[WARNING: This episode contains alcohol and alcoholism, as well as some mouth sounds in act 2. Listener discretion is advised.]

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It’s too loud.

[Warning: This episode contains discussions of death and anxiety about dying. Listener discretion is advised.]

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A Zeno’s Paradox of nihilism.

[Warning: This episode contains discussions of animal violence, threats of violence, and descriptions of vomiting and poison. Listener discretion is advised.]

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Do I exist?

[Warning: This episode contains a discussion of suicide, violent situations, and crab death. Listener discretion is advised.]

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Well OVER’s building up tier 4

They’re thinking that they control 

True permanence

True permanence

But Michael’s in Riga with Mike

They’re working for the TryLeg 

Corporation

And they notice 

The crows are sounding just like Leg

There’s something strange that’s going down 

In Texas, oh

They’ll find it

Mike stops by the Valley to see

Mikey who installs The Ram in tier 2

To see what they knew

And meanwhile

Down in Bluster’s Grove

The Legs are piling up

But from where nobody knows

The scrapyard is a hotbed

Of things that no one should have got

Their grubby paws on yet

69 is dead and Mike arrives

Only to be corrected by Chance

And not circumstance

He explains what’s happening

The Lionhorse attacks and they’re trapped in

The warehouse

They see some horrors in some vats

But Stinky shows up with leg and he 

Rescues their doomed asses

He takes them to the future where

He has been leglocked thanks to Bradford Beaumont

He’s their new boss

And meanwhile

On the island

Felix cleans it up

But he leaves a mess behind

Lieutenant

In his evil ways

Finds a way to get himself free

To unite OI

Mikey’s in an awful jam

He made the mistake of trusting Eagle

What a damn fool

He iterates and tortures him

Replaces him with a docile iteration

A distraction

He’s heading down to Bluster’s Grove

When Lieutenant says all he knows

They’re changing up the operation

He’s traveled halfway around the world

And found a village of Michaels ripe for

Elimination

And meanwhile

In Slovenia

The gang arrives one-by-one

And each is thrown in jail

The trial of the century

Is hot on their heels as they hope

Chance will bail them out

A and M are hunting Tex

He’s hurt, they need him for what’s next

They take him

To the village

They activate his memories

They need him to become Judge B

And help them

Make decisions

Michael’s prolonged absence means that

Dead Man’s off pulling the strings

Charlie don’t know yet what it means

To see him at the rendezvous

He’s fishing for the crust punks now

He’s rounded them up shipped ‘em out

They’re going to tier 3

And meanwhile at the Outpost

Traitors are all signing up

To join Lieutenant’s cause

But Bluster leads resistance

He rallies the troops at Blust A Groove!

And Outlaw sends the traitors off

As for what will happen next

It’s Stinky’s sacrificial quest

To get his mitts on

The mystery box

The Crust Punks numbers start to dwindle

But Skinner’s lives and distracts Eagle

Chance grabs the box and Stinky

Punches coordinates in and all are off

Now that they have true permanence

They all arrive cacophonous 

At the trial, it’s on fire

M’s at Eagle’s throat with a knife and

Now the gang’s on the same page

They put an end to Eagle’s days  

And they restore all the order

That the Michaels are were longing for

And meanwhile

It’s a bad idea

For Bradford have this much power

Everyone agree

The village gets to keep the box

And most of them don’t have a clue

What they are fending off

I ask you, what you think will happen

With OI gone, there’s no Cured Edgar

The clock is counting down at

edgars-death-window.com

But does OI go down so easy

I swear there was another Eagle

In the Ice Lair, hiding out there

That no one knows about

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