Women on the Remake

This week, Leigh recorded on her own with Mimi Gehres after the planned guest had to cancel due to illness.  Then, Kristin was unfortunately diagnosed with Covid-19, leaving Leigh to make do.  Mimi Gehres joined the podcast to discuss the challenges of being at midlife with a special needs young adult about to make the transition to independence.  

When Carolyn's son was crippled by anxiety and depression, she and her husband didn't know where to turn.  The struggles and uncertainty they faced at a crucial time led her to found Nathan's Waypoint, a safe and supportive space for parents of adolescents and teens living with anxiety and depression that disrupts their lives. Carolyn joined Kristin and Leigh to discuss how she remade her life to serve other parents in the same situation in which she found herself- that of no knowledge and no real ability to know where to turn to find community or resources to help her son.  

Angela Devlen joins Kristin and Leigh to discuss what it looks like to start over after divorce at midlife with nothing more than mattresses on the floor.  Relying on her priorities, her drive, her entrepreneurial spirit, and herself, Angela built a life for herself and her daughter that, over time, became exactly what she wanted it to be.  Always an entrepreneur, she used the skills she built over a lifetime to build businesses and relationships that led her to create The Founders Circle with her friend and business partner Mari Partyka.  The Founders Circle is an online community of entrepreneurs designed for midlife women.  Their understanding of the unique challenging facing midlife women helped them create something completely different - a supportive place where they develop and share resources that are entirely based on solutions to solve challenges they have personally faced as entrepreneurs.   Both Women on the Remake and The Founders Circle seek to build community and offer resources for women working to redesign their lives at midlife.

Resources

Angela's Tips for Women on the Remake

• Prioritize your friendships and community of women
• Self-care expands our capacity to do more - it is not a luxury, but rather a necessity.
• Listen to and follow your dreams.  We have so much more to offer in our second half of life.

Don't forget to visit https://www.womenontheremake.com to download our Healthy Habits guide - this will help you set a strong foundation for success on your remake journey!

Lisa Chader and Lucia Folk, founders of The Change Agent-cy, join Leigh and Kristin for a wide-ranging, hilarious conversation that covers everything from why they chose to leave great careers in the television industry to start their PR firm to how wonderful and terrible it can be to be in a business partnership with your close friend.

The Change Agent-cy is a management and communications consulting firm that provides social impact strategies and services for the national non-profit and business sectors.  Lisa and Lucia work with their clients to provide solution-oriented social impact and communication strategies that strengthen both business and the community. 

Visit www.womenontheremake.com to download our Guide to Essential Habits for Women on the Remake!

Kristin and Leigh kick off season 2 with a discussion of how important it is to establish healthy habits for yourself so that you can be successful in your remake.  Kristin and Leigh have some shared habits, but also find different habits work for them too.  The episode previews the season to come, as well as the WOTR Retreat Kristin and Leigh will be hosting in late September if Covid-19 cooperates.  Make sure to head over to the WOTR website (see below) to get your guide to our favorite foundational habits.   

https://www.womenontheremake.com--Download your guide to foundational habits here!

Leigh and Kristin are joined by guests from Season 1 episodes to reflect on the season.  The conversation among these women moves fluidly as they discuss their own episodes, what they've learned from each other, and cover the personal growth they're experiencing in their own remake journeys.  Despite being recorded on Zoom, the discussion is raw and emotional, and Leigh and Kristin were struck by the level of vulnerability shown by their guests (now friends).  

In this episode, Leigh and Kristin discuss the importance of pursuing your passion at midlife.  Not just as a hobby, or a side gig.  But making the effort to really chase your dreams.  Kristin and Leigh spent a weekend in Nashville planning content for season 2 of Women on the Remake, and in the midst of a weekend of concentrated work, they met with two women who also had made the decision to pursue their passion.   This led to a conversation about how so many women at midlife are dissatisfied, empty, and searching for more meaning.  The conversation centers around the benefits of pursuing your passion at midlife.  Actually, taking the leap of faith to make a scary change so that you're living in integrity with your truest self.  Please head over to our website and subscribe.  Kristin and I are planning exciting content for season 2.   

Resources

The Element by Ken Robinson

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Do the Work:  Overcome Resistance and Get Out of Your Own Way by Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin

Unwrapping Your Passion:  Creating the Life You Truly Want by Karen Putz

Our guest this week requested to remain anonymous.  In this episode, she tells the story of her 20 year marriage to a man who, by the end of the relationship, was being investigated by the FBI, indicted, and under house arrest.  She was lied to, manipulated, and convinced that "everything was okay", despite seeing blatant red flags from the very beginning.  This is her story of finding the strength to leave, and what helps her thrive, even now.   She explains that her belief that keeping her family together was the most important thing caused her to stay in the marriage long after she knew she should leave.  She failed to listen to her own intuition but instead tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy for the sake of her children.  When it became clear that her own wellbeing should be prioritized, she found the strength to leave the marriage.   We asked her what advice she would share with other women on the remake who may be in a similar situation.

• Trust your intuition.  Listen to "the whisper".  Listen before it becomes a metaphoric 2x4 hitting you in the head.
• Surround yourself with loving, empowering women.  Know that you need different types of friends.  Those that listen while you rage, and those that quietly help you back to your feet and towards the future.
• Take care of yourself.  Nurture yourself.  Make sure your bucket is being filled.

Resources that may help

Married to a Narcissist: Enduring the Struggle and Finding You Again by Catenya McHenry

Mama Gena - "Get right with your darkness"  and the "I've Hit a Rough Patch" swamping technique

Craniosacral therapy - look for a provider in your area

Body energy and breath work

Visualization and meditation - surf the web and do your research to find techniques that suit your individual needs.  Leigh's favorite meditations are sleep meditations and visualizations that can be found here.  Kristin prefers auditory meditations like the ones found here.

Please note:  This podcast is not intended to be professional medical, legal, or psychiatric advice.  Our guest is simply sharing her own perspectives and story.  If you are in a situation like this one, we strongly advise seeking the advice of a mental health professional, attorney, or even a friend who can help direct you.

Cheryl Walker joins Kristin and Leigh to discuss the sexual issues facing women at midlife.  The silencing of our sexual voice can lead to an inability to express desires, wishes to try new things, and can limit sexual satisfaction for both women in committed relationships and women post-divorce.  Cheryl suggests three tips for women on the remake:

• Love your vulva:  Examine it, know its beauty, love its power.  
• Don't believe the hype:  Ignore the many voices sending you messages that you internalize to your own detriment and sexual dissatisfaction.  The ''hype" can be ideas about what you are "supposed to" like, not like, do, or not do.
• Find your sexual voice:  This is the voice that is drowned out by the hype. This voice, when given its power, can lead you to sexual freedom, fulfillment, and yes-- fun.

Resources

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.

The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

Pussy:  A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer

In this episode, Leigh and Kristin are joined by Trish Taylor, author of the book "I'm Never Drinking Again: Maybe It's Time to Think About Your Drinking".   Trish stopped drinking six years ago after a frightening episode out at a bar with friends.  She shares her story, why she chose to stop drinking, and her journey to sobriety.  Our discussion centers on "Where to go next."  We discuss Dry January, and how it can be easy to make it through a month off drinking, but the difficulties can come when the calendar turns over and you don't have a plan for what happens the next day.   In this episode, Trish shares a unique and thoughtful approach to staying "dry" that will offer relatability and real help to women hoping to remake their relationship with alcohol.

Resources

Trish Taylor, Author (website)

Trish Taylor Coaching on You Tube

Alcohol Change UK Interactive Resources

Stop Drinking Reddit

Trish Taylor's Books on Amazon