Women on the Remake

Kristin and Leigh sit down with Gwen Hendee, a yoga instructor and nurse who has also studied various forms of healing arts.  We discuss the importance of "making space" within yourself in order to be successful on your remake journey.  Women too often are holding space for others, carrying the emotions of others, bearing the physical burden of motherhood or caretaking, as well as the social and cultural expectations for who we should be.  This doesn't leave much room for ourselves.  How do we make that space? 

In an interesting twist of mindset, we ask the question "What do You Want to Keep?"  This causes you to think of what's important to you and what you want for yourself, instead of its twin-- "What should I get rid of?" This question applies to anything that's filling up your mind or life.  Emotions, thoughts, relationships, everything.  You find that you begin to focus on the most important thoughts, emotions, and relationships, and how to keep them close. 

Resources

Daring to Live Fully by Marelisa

Making Space: Creating a Home Meditation Practice by Thich Nhat Hanh

Leigh and Kristin are joined by Liz Stubbs, photographer, and Penny Treese, fine artist, to discuss their recent collaboration on "Celebration Portraits".   In these magical portraits, the subject goes through an intense photography session with Liz and Penny, designed to bring out their "inner wild", their most authentic self.  In this process, and accompanying conversations, Liz and Penny learn about the subject and get to know her.  Once the photography is finished, Penny gets to work turning the photographic portrait into a piece of fine art, treated with whatever media she feels is appropriate for that person.  In the end, the finished portrait should be a visual representation of the subject's spirit-- her soul.  Leigh and Kristin discuss the intersection of this visual process with their work with women on a remake.  We discuss the fear and trepidation women feel going into a revealing and personally baring photo shoot, and how powerful and strong they feel afterwards.  It's parallel with the feeling women have as they truly shed their old self and begin to remake their life.  It truly is transformational.  Please visit www.womenontheremake.com to subscribe.


Resources

Liz Stubbs Photography

Penny Treese Fine Artist

Celebration Portraits Invitation

As we close out 2020, we decided to re-release Episode 8, the story of Angie Witz's sobriety journey.  Kristin and Leigh have decided to go dry for January, and hope you'll come alongside them for the next month.  

In this episode, my daughter and I sit down to discuss the external pressures that lead to the epidemic of mental illness. She share's how far she's come in her journey and how it shaped her life today. Her words of wisdom offer today's young adults hope and trust that all challenging experiences shape who you are, and rather than resist them accept them.  In her wilderness experience, she learned to sit with herself, and through this, she began to value and love herself without needing the validation and company of others. 

Kristin and Leigh discuss the importance of finding stillness in order to hear that inner voice that we too often ignore.  Many times we are keeping ourselves so busy, that we fail to listen to that whisper telling us it's time for some changes.   In order to begin a remake, you must pause and listen.  You must be still.  This can look many different ways, from meditation to reading quietly in silence.  Leigh and Kristin discuss the myriad advantages of finding stillness in this episode.  

• Stillness does not have to mean formal meditation.
• Work to build the habit of being still into your daily routine.
• Listen to the inner voice that begins to speak to you.

Resources

Just Being Yoga: Slow Down and Find the Space to Just Be

Stillness is Overrated: How to Move into a Meditation Practice:  Meditation doesn't have to be "still".  Incorporating physical movement into your meditative practice can be beneficial.

Shavasana: The Posture of Relief, Silence, and Stillness

Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday

22 Ways to Practice Stillness

Kristin and Leigh discuss a question that seems to recur over many of their episodes, "Who does a woman want to be?"  It's a question that many women on a remake are trying to answer throughout their personal journeys.  They discuss how women might work to discern adjectives that may most closely describe them, and ask their listeners to come along with them on a working episode as they continue to seek to answer this question.

As she approached 40, LaQueta Nichols looked at herself in the mirror and decided to take control of her own health.  She started with small goals, but as she crushed one after another, the weight dropped off and her fitness level soared.  Over time she decided to become a fitness instructor, and now teaches Zumba and small group HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) classes as well as offers personal fitness consultations whenever she can.  LaQueta's entire life was remade, including her passion for her "adult job" that she does during the day.  Her inspirational story shows that overhauling your fitness can be done with the right mindset and determination to reach those small goals one after the other.

Ginger joins us to share how she continues to embrace remaking herself as life demands.  First there was agreeing to an unexpected move to Bangkok, Thailand in 2009, which remade the whole family dynamic and every single relationship.  Then she made the decision to attend culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu in Thailand--where she was the oldest student.  Ginger says this was one of the hardest things she's ever done--physically and mentally.   When the time came to leave Thailand and return to Atlanta, Ginger found herself afraid of going back to. her "old life" and wanted to continue the adventure.  Ginger and her family returned to the US in 2016, and in 2019 she launched her own travel business.  Then COVID-19 hit and she was forced to pivot.  Now she's making cooking videos showcasing her amazing culinary skills.  Ginger talks about how important it was to her to keep learning and look for opportunities.  You never know what's around the next corner, so you might as well hop on board for life's adventures as they come.

Laura Rafi, a Certified Public Accountant, joins us to dispel the fears women have around finances, especially during and after divorce.  A clear understanding of what you have coming in and what you have going out is the first step.  Laura says that having the outside support of a trusted CPA or financial advisor as you begin the divorce process is imperative.  Women need to understand the tax impact of a variety of possible financial scenarios that may be negotiated as part of the divorce settlement.  Understanding your financial needs as a divorced woman is key.  The process of dividing assets in a divorce can be overwhelming, but there is no reason women should be afraid-- there is help and education available that can make you feel in control, calm, and ready to face independence.  While you may still rely on financial support from your ex-partner, you can begin to plan for financial freedom from day one. 


Resources

Wiser Women's Institute for a Secure Retirement

Ellevest:  A Financial Company for Women


Books

Divorce After 50: Your Guide to the Unique Legal and Financial Challenges

Prosperity After Divorce: Take Charge of Your Finances & Create the Life You Really Want Using Lifestyle Re-Design Planning

Eve McClennen, an Aging Life Care Manager, joins us to discuss the impact aging parents can have on us as we enter mid-life, especially if we have begun to focus on ourselves as our children begin to leave the nest.   Women tend to take on more of the care of aging parents, while simultaneously not spending enough time taking care of their own emotional and health needs.  Eve offers excellent advice on the need to prepare for the future, including setting up estate planning, understanding the financial ramifications of caring for aging parents, and making sure advance health directives are in place.  These can be difficult conversations to have, but having them is an act of love.  Eve shares wonderful resources that can help ease the burden, and gently reminds us that we can't care for others if we don't care for ourselves.


Resources

Eve McClennen, Aging Life Care Manager
Cell: 770-256-8365 (work) 404-680-5687 (personal)
[email protected]
https://www.aginglifecare.org/

On Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

"It's Pretty Brutal": The Sandwich Generation Pays a Price--New York Times 2/11/20

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family by Margareta Magnusson

NAELA--National Association of Elder Law Attorneys