Worthless Clowns

A man confronts Brittany about her big huge hotdog eyes. Ali chokes up around a band she just got into, and keeps waking up to a country song about boobs.  A listener accidentally breaks into her boss’s house and makes a really big mess. Memories of Korn breakdowns, horse plates for dad, and tic tac toe.

We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube!

theme music by Adam Turay

It’s Ali’s one year anniversary of getting hit by a car! And she’s ready to get hit again! Brittany finally realizes what water and addresses are for. A listener too desperate to prove she can pee ends up looking very suspicious at her drug test. Memories of men loving pixels, embroidery addiction, and Ray Mysterio. 

We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube!

theme music by Adam Turay

We go to Chicago! Ali’s shrimp knowledge is on full display at the aquarium, and a crab is doing Brittany’s physical therapy exercises. A listener plays metaphorical poker with an itchy man on the bus. Memories of 9/11 weddings, composing songs for Betty the dog, and Dinosaur Club. 

We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube!

theme music by Adam Turay

It’s Valentines Day (we posted this very very late!). Brittany strips to Chop Suey and makes a fool of herself during an invasive ultrasound. Ali goes absolutely nuts with her food processor and accidentally offends her tattoo artist. A listener unwittingly roasts a man dressed like he’s in Scooby Doo. Memories of fresh water fish pamphlets, dad’s horse plates, and microbiome transfers. 

We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube!

theme music by Adam Turay

We’re back from a long hiatus!!! A lot has happened in the world of Ali’s fish tank. We determine the hottest lions of Lion King, and prep for our photoshoot by doing crafts and watching Adventure Time. A listener attempts to rollerblade with clenched cheeks in a desperate search for the toilet. Memories of a dad testing a Byrna Launcher on himself, the best pogs and slammers, and the Aladdin soundtrack. 

We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube!

theme music by Adam Turay

We've missed you all!!! We've got pod updates for you!

PLUS: Brittany's special is out this Tuesday October 21st 8pm (EST) on her YouTube! Watch it, share it, comment with clown emojis, tell your friends! And if you haven't subscribed yet, do it now: https://www.youtube.com/@brittonuscardwell

Thank you all for listening and we'll be back soon!

Ali unloads on an unsuspecting man about Tony Hawk Pro Skater, CYK, and Bam Margera. Brittany gets kidnapped at a Vegas bachelorette party by a Seinfeld enthusiast. A man tries to convince a woman he’s “normal” by jumping into a sprinkler. Memories of phd balance testing strips, embarrassing pillow talk, and The Joker.

Brittany’s special is coming out SOON!!! Look out for it on her Youtube, and subscribe if you haven’t already! 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali befriends a fellow fish tank owner, and roasts Ed Sheeran and Harvard, bigtime. Brittany keeps mistaking Jenna Ortega for her nephew, and holds a stingray by the lips. Laura Loomer gets PUNK’D. Memories of minigolf strategy, trying Kibbles N Bits, and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Our very good friend Kelly Taylor joins us!! Kelly blacks out, then wakes up outside her situationship’s house. Ali’s having trouble laughing with a pulled rib muscle, and Brittany’s bathroom ceiling collapses. Memories of answering the phone “this is she”, hating showers, and guys with records. 

Follow Kelly @hellothisiskelly and check out her pod “I feel fat today”! 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets falsely accused of cheating on a math test based entirely on her poorly written 4s. Ali is introduced to an acquaintance and immediately bullies him into submission. A man obsessed with the psychology of clapping puts his theories to the test and gets ripped to shreds in peer review. Memories of bonding with dads over terrible New York apartments, the best side of the bed, and the Dean Scream. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay