My first official podcast of 2020. Feeling a little apprehensive but also a very strong sense of calm and knowing in self that it's ok to put this out there. It has been hastened by the encouragement and support of some amazing and trusted women in my life, however I'm not being led by fear, ego, shame or guilt. This piece is the product of me really going in deep on why I'm overweight. When I detach from the "Im just craven and love me food" justification and really examined my eating behaviours I was able to identify where my unhealthy eating habits derived from and also looking at my deep psychological reasons behind it. This was a difficult piece to read back but also very necessary for me to put into words to fully engage with myself and understand this toxic learnt behaviour. This will now allow me to slowly change my relationship with food and the emotions associated with over indulging. This process of writing and speaking out into my truth is so cathartic and is beginning to slowly rewire my brain. So let's do this together! © I do not own the rights to any background music contained within the introduction or episodes of my Podcast.

This is the introduction to my first podcast which launches at 00:00 on Sunday 4 October 2020. If anyone had told me in my 30's or even a year ago that at 43 I'd be launching a podcast and sharing my deepest darkest thoughts, feelings and experiences I would have questioned their sanity and told them to politely "go long" but here I am and here it is. I shall use this platform to share my writing as this process of automatic writing and recording continues to heal me on many levels. I also believe and hope that there maybe others that this reaches and connects with which allows them to begin or continue their own healing . My hope is that me being me which is transparent and authentic will show others that it's OK to do the same if that's what will help you. Due to the content within some of the episodes I attach a.*TRIGGER WARNING* as I recollect and revisit my own personal experiences with childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, recreational drug taking, neglect and maternal alcoholism. If the content resonates then add me to your favourites to be notified of future scheduled podcasts. Deep inhale through the nose, slow steady exhale through the mouth. So let's do this together! Love Charmian.