WTF - Stories and Advice

Three anonymous confessions this week, three people who have done a thing and now can't stop thinking about it. A guy who slept with his best mate's girlfriend while the mate was away, and now she's back for round two. A 36-year-old who quietly stole a junior colleague's project to get a promotion and is now the boss of the person she robbed. And a 29-year-old having dreams he can't explain and doesn't know if he needs to tell his girlfriend about.

Caroline and Daryl work through all three: what confession actually costs, when honesty is generous and when it's just offloading, and why the dream might not mean what you think it means. Guilt, sex, workplace treachery. A classic WTF inbox.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/

Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected]

Loved this episode? We teach hypnotherapy. Caroline and Daryl run the Integrative Hypnotherapy Institute — an online school for people who want to actually help others (or themselves) with the tools we use every day.

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com

→ Certificate of Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/GLPdWvBX/checkout

→ Diploma of Integrative Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/iuR2rLtn

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Intro
• 00:49 — Letter one: the best mate's girlfriend
• 11:54 — Letter two: the workplace credit theft
• 17:24 — Letter three: the dreams
• 25:04 — Wrap up

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

Ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same fight, dating the same person in a different body, or working yourself into the ground for people who don't notice? There's a name for it: schemas, and Caroline has been down a rabbit hole on this.

Schemas are the deep emotional patterns that got wired in when you were small and haven't updated since. Abandonment, defectiveness, self-sacrifice, unrelenting standards, mistrust — you'll probably recognise yourself in at least two of these. We walk you through the most common ones, the three ways people cope with them (spoiler: none of them are working), and what actually shifts them — because insight alone is not going to do it.

Schema Quiz https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/

Also in this one: why making friends as an adult is a whole thing, a Netflix rec that will hook you in one episode, and a genuinely unhinged tangent about UFOs and alien abductions. As you do.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com

Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected]

Loved this episode? We literally teach this stuff. Caroline and Daryl run the Integrative Hypnotherapy Institute — an online school for people who want to actually help others (or themselves) with the tools we use every day.

→ Certificate of Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/GLPdWvBX/checkout

→ Diploma of Integrative Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/iuR2rLtn

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Weekend banter and the birthday curry
• 05:18 — Why you repeat patterns: schemas explained
• 09:38 — The common ones: which are yours?
• 24:12 — Survival modes and how people cope (badly)
• 30:37 — What actually shifts them
• 35:16 — Netflix pick, books, and the UFO tangent
• 42:39 — Outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

In 2006, an ER nurse came home from a twelve-hour shift in Portland, Oregon and walked into the wrong room at the wrong moment. Her husband had arranged a surprise for her. He thought he'd never see her again. He was right — but not for the reasons he expected. div]:bg-bg-000/50 [&_pre>div]:border-0.5 [&_pre>div]:border-border-400 [&_.ignore-pre-bg>div]:bg-transparent [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8"> _*]:min-w-0 gap-3 standard-markdown">

What happened next involves a claw hammer, a hitman who picked the worst possible target, and a sentence to the paramedics that became one of the most quoted lines in American true crime.

Caroline and Daryl tell Susan Kuhnhausen's extraordinary story and then go absolutely everywhere with it — strangulation safety (yes really), celebrity death rumours, self-defence law, the UK unrest, why church might be making a comeback as a third place, and a French film with a gender-swap premise so good they're still thinking about it.

Genuinely wild story, genuinely wild tangents.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com

Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected]

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Accents, Tourette's, and a Scottish film rec
• 01:48 — The case begins
• 06:51 — Strangulation, kink safety, and celebrity rumours
• 15:46 — The break in the case
• 22:30 — Self-defence law, riots, and policing
• 33:27 — Church, faith, and the third place
• 41:40 — Michael Jackson, the French film, and Sacha Baron Cohen
• 49:23 — Outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

A 29-year-old writes in about the man she loves, the daughter they share, and the family quietly bleeding him dry. He's stable, he's kind, he's husband material. His parents, on both sides, treat him like a personal cashpoint — and when she gently suggested he stop, they disowned him, called her the problem, and called their baby something much worse. Now there's a grandmother in ICU and the pressure is back on.

Caroline and Daryl get into why "supportive" can quietly turn into "exploited," what actual boundaries look like when a whole family is invested in not having them, and the hard limits she needs to set before she signs a marriage certificate. Plus a tangent about wedding chaos, divorce parties, and the time someone's paperwork went absolutely sideways.

Should she marry him? Listen and find out.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Therapist voices, Andrew Tate, and a blood orange tangent
• 05:00 — The letter
• 23:46 — The advice: boundaries, hard limits, and one big decision
• 31:29 — Wedding stories and divorce party chaos
• 41:49 — Final advice and resources
• 48:15 — Outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

A 43-year-old counsellor writes in with a confession: she grew up poor, earns good money now, doesn't have debt — and has just bought a second chest freezer, a year's supply of olive oil, and accidentally hoarded fourteen bottles of conditioner she didn't know she had. The fuel crisis news has flipped a switch she can't switch back. And the truly humiliating part? She knows exactly what she's doing. She explained the model to a client this week. It didn't help.

Caroline and Daryl get into why knowing isn't enough, why scarcity wounds don't care about your bank balance, and what actually shifts this — including a salary structure that changes everything for self-employed people and a savings account trick that quietly does the heavy lifting. Plus: the builder who accidentally became a marriage counsellor, and the marriage counsellor whose own marriage is held together with string.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Therapists who need therapists (and a builder who became one)
• 06:31 — The letter
• 10:02 — Why knowing isn't enough
• 15:14 — The fixes: salary, savings, and the deeper work
• 22:19 — Practical anti-shopping moves
• 23:58 — Recommendations and outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

We start with swearing in Spanish and Paris trip plans, then dive into a Reddit story that genuinely floored us.

A 27-year-old guy comes home and finds his fiancée in bed with his own father. He records it, punches his dad, and threatens to send the video round. From there it spirals: he tells his mum, who at first believes the lie that he was the abusive one, until he sends her the proof. He cuts off the whole family, moves out, starts therapy, gets his STD tests back clean, and rebuilds his life in a refurbished cabin. Then the updates keep coming. His mum leaves his dad, and his ex turns up pregnant, with nobody sure if the father is him or his father.

Caroline and Daryl thrash out the big question: can you forgive a betrayal this deep, and should he? Plus a few of our own wild family scandal stories, modern prenatal DNA testing, and the TikTok baby-daddy drama doing the rounds.

We wrap with our recommendations and the usual chaos.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com

Got a story that beats this one? We'd love to be proven wrong. [email protected]

Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout

00:00 Swearing in Spanish 01:01 Paris Trip Plans 02:27 Podcast Intro 03:06 The Fiancé and Father Twist 05:47 Backstory and Red Flags 08:13 Caught on Camera 10:40 The Aftermath 12:56 Telling Mum the Truth 15:34 Cutting Ties 16:55 Therapy and the New Cabin 21:11 Reconnecting With Mum 24:08 Can You Forgive This? 25:50 Our Own Family Scandal Stories 41:31 Wrap Up

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

Listener Amanda has carried this for twenty years. At nineteen she fainted at the feet of the new guy in town, Weston, who pulled a homemade spirit board out of his backpack, letters written in blood. The giggling stopped when it spelled out HELL, HELP, HELL, HELP on its own, and a tall shadow appeared in the chair beside her. Add a wrong videotape, an Exorcist that played itself, and two decades of cold, dark nightmares. Amanda wants to know if something followed her home, and whatever happened to Weston.

Caroline explains why she begs people to leave Ouija boards alone, shares her park ranger dream, the priest who fixed it, the nine grapefruit story, and how to cut cords and call in your angels. Daryl shares his zombie dream breakthrough. Plus dick-pic dating disasters, the prison planet theory, and why hell might be cold, not fiery.

They wrap with show picks (Widow's Bay, Vikings, Mrs. Maisel) and a Pizzagate tease.

And Weston, if you're out there, Amanda has questions.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/

https://www.youtube.com/@MindBodyHealthHypnotherapy

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

Three short letters, three very intimate problems, two hypnotherapists who have heard worse. A 24-year-old worried her hookup stole her energy.

A divorced 42-year-old who can't get there with his new partner. A 31-year-old who has been faking it for three years and can't take it anymore. Caroline and Daryl get into chakras, freezer spells, why your medication might be the actual problem, and why a vibrator in bed is not the criticism your boyfriend thinks it is.

Plus: homemade mayo, the smoothie that will change your life, and a warning about creatine that nobody else is telling you.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

https://www.youtube.com/@MindBodyHealthHypnotherapy

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout

• 00:00 — Tinfoil hats and a dog in a cone
• 03:42 — Letter one: soul ties and the hookup that lingered
• 14:22 — Letter two: the divorcé who can't finish
• 22:35 — Letter three: fake it till you make it
• 30:26 — Recommendations: mayo, smoothies, and the creatine warning
• 38:31 — Outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

Filth warning: this one's a doozy. Not for the easily scandalised, but you knew that...

A married dad writes in with a problem that started with one sneaky kitchen wank and escalated into something that's about to get him fired, arrested, or both. Caroline and Daryl read the letter, try to keep straight faces (mixed results), and then deliver some genuinely serious advice underneath the chaos, because this is an addiction, not just a punchline.

Then Daryl unveils his Danger Wank Hall of Fame: six famous men, six very public mistakes, six cautionary tales. Plus: Daryl prods a dead possum with a stick for noble reasons, and a brief history of hedgehog rehab.

It's stupid. It's also weirdly useful. Classic WTF.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Cold open: possums, hedgehogs, and Daryl's big heart
• 03:16 — Welcome to WTF and the letter
• 16:58 — Advice time: why this is serious, actually
• 24:42 — The Danger Wank Hall of Fame
• 39:55 — Get help, you'll be fine, wrap up

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208

⚠️ Trigger warning: this episode discusses harm to an animal. If that's not for you, skip this one and we'll see you next time.

A listener writes in about her brother's golden retriever, his new fiancée who never warmed to the dog, and the day everything went very, very wrong. Caroline and Daryl read the letter, try to work out if the family's suspicions are warranted (spoiler: they think so), and dig into the red flags everyone missed. Plus: dodgy neighbours, hypnosis for the chronically noise-tortured, and Caroline's daughter staging an intervention about her mum's screen time. Also some recommendations and a mild rant about American reality TV.

Filth level: standard WTF. Sense of justice: unfulfilled.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/ https://www.darylgove.com/#/ https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/ To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out: https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected] Check out our Alcohol Reduction Course https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/LAiJuAJ9/checkout

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Cold open chaos and biceps as a love language
• 05:14 — Welcome to WTF and trigger warning
• 07:53 — The letter
• 15:31 — Did she do it? We discuss
• 18:08 — Caroline's neighbour from hell story
• 24:34 — Back to the letter
• 25:34 — What we're watching: Project Hail Mary, Your Friends and Neighbours, Last One Laughing
• 32:56 — Why American reality TV is somehow worse then Aussie and the UK
• 34:43 — Nervous system regulation (no, not with cocaine)
• 36:53 — Outro and one piece of practical advice

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208