Ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same fight, dating the same person in a different body, or working yourself into the ground for people who don't notice? There's a name for it: schemas, and Caroline has been down a rabbit hole on this.

Schemas are the deep emotional patterns that got wired in when you were small and haven't updated since. Abandonment, defectiveness, self-sacrifice, unrelenting standards, mistrust — you'll probably recognise yourself in at least two of these. We walk you through the most common ones, the three ways people cope with them (spoiler: none of them are working), and what actually shifts them — because insight alone is not going to do it.

Schema Quiz https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/

Also in this one: why making friends as an adult is a whole thing, a Netflix rec that will hook you in one episode, and a genuinely unhinged tangent about UFOs and alien abductions. As you do.

To find more out about Caroline Cranshaw & Daryl Gove

https://nzhypnotherapy.co.nz/

https://www.darylgove.com/#/

To find out about training in hypnotherapy with us, check out:

https://integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com

Write to us if you have a question or want us to tell your story at [email protected]

Loved this episode? We literally teach this stuff. Caroline and Daryl run the Integrative Hypnotherapy Institute — an online school for people who want to actually help others (or themselves) with the tools we use every day.

→ Certificate of Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/GLPdWvBX/checkout

→ Diploma of Integrative Clinical Hypnotherapy: https://www.integrativehypnotherapyinstitute.com/offers/iuR2rLtn

https://www.youtube.com/@HypnosisTraining/

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Weekend banter and the birthday curry
• 05:18 — Why you repeat patterns: schemas explained
• 09:38 — The common ones: which are yours?
• 24:12 — Survival modes and how people cope (badly)
• 30:37 — What actually shifts them
• 35:16 — Netflix pick, books, and the UFO tangent
• 42:39 — Outro

Intro Music By Soul (Vlog Music) by Dj Quads https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads

Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/m0UBmJLv208