Xtinction Agenda

Well, we finally watched it: animated cult classic Heavy Metal (1981). Although none of us are really pleased with ourselves, we like to think that we got something out of it. Something important. Like we put our finger on the pulse of a dying god and felt with our own flesh its final expiration. Ultimate evil is expunged. The universe is safe.

"Earth women who experience sexual ecstasy with mechanical assistance always tend to feel guilty."

When you go into the circle and it gets tighter and tighter and you realize that something is around your neck and know that if you don't smile in just the right way you are dead. That's life in the Big Leagues. Where the Grand Ones live and dine. Where Stalin lived and died. And where you and I must now go. Tonight.

"I wasn't afraid but now I'm afraid."

"The War and the Warrior" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencilled by Pat Olliffe, inked by Al Milgrom, coloured by Mick Rockwitz, and lettered by Michael Heisler.

March 1992

"Twenty Million Light Years From Earth" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencilled by Rik Levins, inked by Danny Bulanadi, coloured by Christie Scheele, and lettered by Joe Rosen.

April 1992

God this collection of stories sucks. Somehow though, because Chris, James, and James are True Professionals, they still manage to talk for nearly two hours. This is the nature of the beast that is The Sandman: Fables and Reflections. Like this podcast, it is a great yawning chasm of words that numb you into complacency.

Do you wish to submit to our discourse?

"I do not dance. Not even with you, my wife."

Spoiled western rat children are run amok. A psycho has seized Santa's village. The Federal government has activated the contract. James and James are on the scene. Santa is here to clean house.

And clean house he does.

Christmas is back everyone. No worries.

"Fentanyl. Yeah. That'll get the job done."

Deck the halls with gore and monsters, fa la la la la, lalala. 'Tis the season to be sorry, fa la la la la, lalala. Don we now our dreadful horror, fa la la la la, lalala.

Christ Mass time is Junji Ito time. Your time to connect with the one you love. Tomie. The only one you love. The one who's love consumes you from the inside out. The one who's love just makes you want to cut her into pieces.

Don't hide it. I want it too. She is everything....

"I told you not to leave my condo!"

This December, Chris, James, and James celebrate the Mass of Christ. And what better way to celebrate the flesh and the blood than a cannibal flick?

Eli Roth had a beautiful experience deep in the forest of Peru. He shows us how beautiful. We gaze into the crimson mirror of gore. We are the enemy. There is nothing we can do.

"Only a freshman would speak with such insolence."

"Storm Gathering" Written by Bob Harras, pencilled by Steve Epting, inked and coloured by Tom Palmer, and lettered by Bill Oakley.

"Decision in a Vacuum" Written by Len Kaminski, pencilled by Paul Ryan, inked by Bob Wiacek, coloured by Mike Rockwitz, and lettered by Michael Heisler.

Chris, James, and James sit down to a banquet of authentic Indian cuisine, including snake surprise and chilled monkey brains. The child ruler assures us that the Thugee are no more. We rest comfortably, fattened in our ignorance. All is well until an interloping grave robber sees fit to insult our hallowed palace...

"Indie, I love you!"

Chris, James, and James, like a myriad of eyes winking across the desert floor, squat firmly among the blackness of sleep. We pull back the curtain of self-deception and insecurity to reveal the final drama of a forgotten land. The Cuckoo is our mistress. We obey. We give all to obey.

"Um. Are you okay?"