I've been on a business trip this week and ended up in Kansas City where one evening I decided to attend a major league baseball game between the hometow Royals and Milwaukee Brewers. The game was great but the highlight of the evening may have been a little yellow bird that visited. Have you ever had of those moments?

Dear Pam, I've had a really long day...but a good day. My manager whom I've never seen or talked to in person met me  here in LIncoln, Nebraska to go on a couple of client meetings with me. I had been a bit apprehensive about the meeting but it actually turned out great. It also affirmed my belief that Zoom and Email contact sucks in terms of getting to truly know people.

Dear Pam, well I'm back on the road this week and have no idea why. I know that sounds strange but it's how I really feel deep down. Of course I'm out for work appointments and they've sent...

This was very full day starting with church, followed by attending a baseball game and ending with a long walk in downtown Nashville. Along the way I'm pretty sure I saw Pam's double.

I decided to work at the art gallery from noon to 8 pm Saturday. I did take a break and had lunch downtown sitting at a nice table outside. It's a little Greek place that I know you would love and of course I thought of you as I dined alone. Countless couples and families walked by holding hands, laughing and talking. Of course, I could not help but be jealous because I miss our weekends together so much.

I'm nowhere near the person my sweet Pam was, but I am learning, each and every day. In fact today was another of those days.

I would highly advise anyone that's experienced loss and feeling disconnected to find something like this in addition to volunteer work, church...you know, just something to keep you engaged with others.

I was talking with a fellow widower recently and we started talking about if and when the crying ever stops. They were only a couple of months out from losing the love of their life while I'm approaching 18 months.

I started thinking about you and for some reason the harder I tried to remember your voice, your smile and everything else about you it started feeling like maybe it was all just a dream. Did I really have this incredibly beautiful hot wife that I met in high school? Did we really get married, have two children and live all around the country?

I went out for a long walk after walk and had not one, not two, not three but four amazing conversations. 3 were with total strangers and 1 with my neighbors whom I've gotten to know as they were walking in the downtown area earlier this evening where I was.