YES WE CANADA The Progressives Guide to Getting the Fuck Out - Season Five

In Canada we have ten “provinces”.  Think about the difference between States and Provinces.  If you are “stately” it means you are elegant, distinguished, imperial even.  If you are “provincial”, you are local, unsophisticated, as y’all say in the States, “a goddamn hick”. That does not apply in Canada. In our country, provinces have much more autonomy than states do in the US. Health care, education, taxes, marriage, property and most civil rights are all the domain of the provinces not the federal government.The feds give money to the provinces to provide these services, but the provinces control the rest. 

Please permit us to introduce you to our biggest province, Ontario, the Centre of the Universe. Ontario's premier is an 800 lb. Gorilla!

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After you immigrate from the US, we are determined to find you a place to live in Canada.  On today's episode we explore Saskatchewan where they have been social distancing for the past 150 years and Manitoba. Friendly,  Manitoba, eh?

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We built this podcast for progressives who want to immigrate to Canada.  But then your child idiot president legally lost the election in November.  Joey Biden moved into the people's house and turned out to be much more progressive than we ever thought!  Who knew? 

Why would progressive want to leave the US now?  You got the keys to the candy store!  Well that's all fine and dandy but we still have a podcast to do here people.  So we rebranded. We would like to invite Republicans to immigrate to Canada's most conservative place, Alberta!  Where the right wings come with free health care!

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You will learn about Canada's two tiniest provinces, Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia.  And bonus, you will also learn how to do the famous "Inhalation Affirmation".
Your life will be transformed!

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The 16th largest Island in the world is on the east coast of Canada.  And you can immigrate there, but before you do, you'll have to be "screeched in". This episode will explain it all. 

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What do you think the New Brunswick press called a doll house collecting, disco dancing, 'committed bachelor' premier in the 1970’s?  

Yep, they called him: “flamboyant”.  Richard Hatfield, former potato chip salesman, lawyer and chemist who ran the province for 17 years, is front and centre in a  story like no other. 

I’ll be at Studio 54 if you need to reach me. 

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We dive deep into Cali-anada,  the much discussed movement for California cede statehood with the  US and join Canada as our eleventh province.  Well, it is a ‘much discussed’ movement on this show, but, probably, nowhere else. 

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In Canada, we are a modest people and when huge international celebrity hits, it is very difficult to process with humility. I speak from personal experience:

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Over the past 20 years roughly 235,000 new immigrants arrive in Canada every year. The current Liberal government has upped immigration levels to 300,000 people per year.  Covid 19 isn't  helping them get to that number but the intent is there.  There’s a lot of criteria to get by the bureaucrat bouncer at the Canadian immigration rope line,   but if you’re between 18 and 54, language is an important factor for your approval.

To successfully immigrate to Canada, you have to speak and understand either English or French at what is called “Level 4”.  

With level 4 you could understand a grocery list, but perhaps not a doctoral thesis.   And may I just say,  that as a native English speaker,  I have fallen asleep reading a few doctoral thesis. 

Canadian is not as easy as you might think.  For example, do you have any idea what we call Beyonce's husband up here?  

This episode  will prepare you to speak Canadian. 

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This episode is about sex. Well, sex and love.  Because in Canada if you'renot in love, you don’t have sex. … We are a polite people.  I mean we don’t have casual sex in Canada, sex here is formal.  We fall in love, then we make love, that’s the way it rolls up here.

We also sometimes tell the truth in podcasts.  Sometimes.

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