By Matt Zimbel
Thinking of moving to Canada? Of course you are and we can help. Yes We Canada is the American Progressives Guide to getting the fuck out. Canada… explained… hilariously.
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The podcast currently has 46 episodes available.
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Elections have consequences! School nurses will no longer be allowed to perform gender reassignment surgery at school! Dogs and cats in Springfield can sleep at night knowing that Kristi Noem will be looking after their Homeland security. Elon Musk will do to the government bureaucracy what he did to Twitter.
Yep, it's time to move to Canada.
This is the final episode of season three. Enjoy?
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The Washington Post wouldn't do it but Yes We Canada sure will. This is our endorsement for president of the United States of America.
But because we are the Swiss Army Knife of political satire podcasting we will also touch lightly on the size of Arnold Palmer's penis, pet eating and other critical issues facing the American electorate.
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We've been reading the polling in this US election cycle and it looks like Black is the new orange! Donald Trump may be creating a new Black job in Washington DC and we're back to tell you all about it!
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Well, it's a "major announcement" and if we told you right here what it was, why would you listen to the episode? You know, just because we've dedicated our entire working lives to writing stupid podcast promos doesn't mean we haven't thought this through.
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My dear American progressives,
You know when you get all frustrated with your country and say shit like, "that's it, I'm moving to Canada?" Well, 'movin' to Canada is not as easy as it sounds.
But because we are so grateful for your support and so tremendously concerned about your future, you know, once Trump gets re-elected and frees the 700 January 6th 'hostages/political prisoners', we thought you might need some legal counsel . So we booked you a lawyer, on us.
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Tucker Carlson, American "journalist" decides it's time to fly to Calgary to "liberate" Canada and then jet to Moscow have a "serious talk" with Russian President V. Putin. Much hilarity ensues.
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Oh, my Americans y’all love your renegades. Your mavericks on a mission. Your rebels in resistance. Y’all love an armed, chiselled man, on a quest for redemption, to hell with “corporate” and their petty, girly boy, rules.
America…where insubordination r …us.
Which, in an odd kinda way, explains why, over 9 million people who voted for Obama in 2012 up and decided to vote for Trump in 2016. Cuz y’all love an outsider… no matter what they believe in.
Yep, Trump gave the middle finger to the man, then he became the man, acted liked a child, and now he’s giving the middle finger to the man so he can become the man again.
They voted for Obama, then, they voted fer Trump. The mainstream media called them Swingers. I call ‘em something else.
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There are upstanding Conservatives, staunch Republicans, proud “Never Trumpers” or perhaps we should say; “Never Again, Trumpers” and they’re hurting.
They lay their weary anti-woke heads on their pillows at night and dream of Nikki Haley being inaugurated as president on January 20th 2025.
Now, gosh, we're sorry to pop your right-wing patriotic bubble… but we're afraid that the Future Felon in Chief - Donny J. is the one who who’ll be representing Republicans on election day and likely raising his tiny right hand on Jan. 20, 2025
So, it is not without some tenderness and sympathy that I say to you…my conservative friends – “hey, partner… y’all might want to think of bustin’ a move to Canada”.
To all our country club Republicans: our Bush Boys, our King Ronnie acolytes, and our McCain Mavericks, the past two seasons of this podcast, Yes We Canada, have not been about you, no, in fact, you’ve been excluded.
So, to our anti-MAGA Republicans… this one’s for you! Your very own episode of: Yes, We Canada… Reactionary Edition.
COMMENTS QUESTIONS COMPLAINTS:
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Well this is a tough one. This episode went sideways. If we tell you how, we will be accused of rampant spoiler alert. So, press play, and and listen carefully as your 9th favorite podcast loses complete control of the run of show.
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In the United States of America, the law and order party currently has a law and order problem. Looks like the Republican nominee for president is wanted on 91 felony counts in four states. Simultaneously his businesses are in civil court in New York, losing on fraud and financial misdoings charges, just like his charities and his um, University. There are so many misdoings a foot that our boy Donny John might just be misdone. His indicted co-conspirators are starting to flip like breakfast pancakes and he’s hemorrhaging green to pay the legal team. The one-man crime spree of Donald J. Trump might just be on his way to the Big House.
From the White House to the Big house. Cue the music: Jail to the chief.
Helicopter Prison Break Raw Footage:
https://globalnews.ca/video/2581405/raw-dramatic-saint-jerome-prison-escape
The podcast currently has 46 episodes available.