I’m beingtreated differently since about 2015.

As anadult, I’ve always commanded respect.

I’m tallerthan average for a Dutchman

(who aretaller in general compared to most other countries)

and whileI’m not a body builder or an athlete,

I easilyfill a doorway,

which wasalso why I worked as a bouncer

and coolerand later as a security officer.

I startedto get a bald spot

when I wasbarely in my twenties,

so I shavedmy head,

which addedto the intimidation factor.

Apart frommy size, however,

I tended tolook a bit oafish

 — big, but not particularly dangerous,

until Ifocused my attention on someone.

When Iworked security,

myco-workers told me that

while I wasalways calm and soft-spoken,

I lookedlike someone you don’t want to piss off.

Even biggerand stronger men tended to worry

when Ientered into an altercation,

mostlybecause I was so relaxed under tension.

I quitworking security and became

aPre-Conflict Control instructor in 2011,

when I alsobecame a stay-at-home dad.

Suddenly,walking around with my infant son and baby daughter,

I looked lessintimidating,

but morelike a Big Friendly Giant.

In late2014, I was in terrible pain from kidney stones

and hadthree surgeries in 2014–2015.

The lastsurgery cost me my left eye —

it turnedout I had Closed Angle Glaucoma

and thepost-op medication blew up my left eye,

renderingit mostly blind

and theremaining vision 20% was extremely photophobic.
So sensitive to light

that evenif the light hit my closed eye,

it hurtlike a bitch.
The solution was to cover my eye

and sincethe light would creep around my glasses,

I had towear a patch.

The patchchanged the respect I generally commanded before —

I wasn’t justsimply big,

but the‘pirate patch’ made me look badass.

Iimmediately noticed an enormous shift in attitude —

men wereoften intimidated,

butchildren thought I was the coolest dad ever and women…

before thepatch, if I was interested in women,

I had totake the initiative to flirt with them.

Suddenly,women would approach me and flirt with me,

which wasalmost a shock to me.

A lot ofthe stories here are about

beingtreated respectfully in shops and restaurants.

I noticedthat no matter whether I wore my leathers

Denims

Or a suit

It was thepatch that made sure

that nobodywanted to piss me off by not showing me respect.

Whenever Itake off my patch, the disrespect returns.

I had a girlfriend

that was from a titled French family in London

for some time during the 80s.

She was always immaculately dressed in designer clothes.

Her mother would not give her the extra money she wanted

so she decided to take a job in Harrods book department

as she had a literature degree.

The customers ignored her

as they thought she was another customer

and staff thought she was a plant from management

so kept away from her.

During one lunch hour

she went to a designer dress shop across the road from thestore

and saw a dress she liked

which cost the whole of her weeks wages, at sale price!

She put a small deposit on it

and said would be back Friday to collect.
She told meabout the dress

and I said as I was short of cash

if she gave me the cash

I would buy it on my American express card

and use cash to pay my large company phone bill

and we could go to dinner

and I would pay card back when got bill.

So as we liked to have a bit of fun

the plan went like this….
I worked asan electrician

and had long hair, dark glasses, old leather jacket

and new 1000cc BMW motorcycle.
On theFriday she went to the shop

and I turned up about 30 seconds later,

parked motorcycle outside

and walked in the shop looking around

as if I was going to rob the place.

The staff looked terrified,

I went to the counter behind her

as the assistant brought the dress out from the rear of theshop.

I moved up beside her and said

“That is a nice dress, would you like me to buy it for you?”

She said something like

that would be very kind of you.

The girl behind the counter did not know what to do!

I reached into my inside leather jacket pocket slowly,

and to the relief of the staff

pulled out a Gold American Express card

and not a gun,

placed card on the counter and said

“charge the dress to this.”

The girl picked up the card

and got on the phone to card company,

passed phone to me

and I answered a couple of questions

and passed back to the girl.

She was shocked that

the card transaction was approved.

As the girl put the dress into a carrier bag

I said to my girlfriend

” It’s a nice day

would you like to come for a ride on my bike?”

She replied yes please.

She followed me out of the shop

with assistants behind her

as she got on the pillion of the bike.

They stood there open mouthed and speechless

as we rode off together.

Geoff was acar salesman for many years.

One nighthe came home

and told methe story of his big sale that day.

A man haddriven into the parking lot

in abeat-up pickup truck,

one bumpertied in place with baling wire,

rust allover it and a cracked windshield.

He and hiswife emerged from the vehicle

and startedwalking around the show lot

looking atcars and drifting towards the trucks.

The man wasvery large,

Geoffestimated 6′5″ and 280 lbs

and wearingbib overalls, a plaid flannel shirt,

well wornboots, and a John Deere baseball cap.

All of hisclothing was showing age, dirt, and stains.

His wifewas very plain and

wearingsimilarly worn clothing, but neat

and shealmost never stopped smiling.

They walkedaround for about 15 minutes

as thesalesmen watched them from the showroom.

All ofthese guys were triple-A personalities

who werelike sharks as salesmen

andnormally would have been fighting

or drawingstraws as to who got the next customer.

Nobodywanted to go talk to these people,

the verydefinition of hayseed goobers

with bigeyes but no money

and theyclearly had nothing to offer as a trade in.

Geoff hadjust finished up showing a customer a few cars

and writingup prices and a trade-in offer

and wasirritated that

the othershad all left these people out there

withouteven a “hello”.

He wentstraight out and started talking to them.

The manwanted to buy a truck

to replacethe one he had driven in on.

He alsowanted to buy his wife a car

becausetheir son had just run their old one

into atelephone pole and totaled it.

Geoff spentabout two hours chatting with them,

getting andgiving information.

He learnedthat they owned and ran a large farm

 with 40 horses, 80 head of cattle, otherlivestock,

crops andside businesses running farmland

that othershad leased from him,

and hadabout 20 employees working for him.

When he gotdone

and waswriting up the sale of two brand new,

fullyloaded vehicles, heasked how they would like to pay.

The manreached into his bib overalls

and pulledout a roll as big as his country-ham fist

and said“sorry, I don’t have cash for both of them,

but I’llpay for one with cash and give you a check for the other;

the bank’sopen and you can verify

the fundsare there right now”.

So, becausethese people looked like

dirt-kickerrednecks to the auto sales staff,

Geoff soldtwo top-line vehicles for cash,

earned avery substantial commission,

and madetwo acquaintances

who invitedhim out to their farm to visit,

and thenbecame good friends for the next 30 years.

I got to gowith Geoff to their beautiful farm once;

among thenicest folks I’ve ever met.

What’s thatold saw about not judging a book by its cover….?

Yes,absolutely.

We hadmoved to a good school district in Milwaukee,

calledWauwatosa, and no, I’m not making up names.

Though wehad to live in a small bungalow

to affordthat school district.

Fortunately,the shops were one street away.

I took myyoung daughters

to theMcDonald’s for lunch once or twice a week.

They werethree and six years old,

and I woremy most comfortable clothes at home with the girls.

That meantshabby jeans with holes in them.

Slightlybaggy. Some cheap top and my Keds.

My pursewas brown leather and extremely worn out,

but Ididn’t want to spend the money to replace it.

Besides, mywallet was equally worn and falling apart.

My girlswore clothes mainly purchased from the second-hand store just down the street.We looked shabby, but comfortable.

AtMcDonalds I never had enough money to buy both girls a Happy Meal,

so whilethey begged for one Happy Meal a piece,

I orderedtwo hamburgers, one french fry and that would be all.

After amonth or two of this,

I wouldopen the bag to find an extra order of french fries,

or twoapple pies, and sometimes an extra hamburger and a pie.

I thoughtMcDonalds was giving me food they were going to throw out,

and I wentabout eating the extras so kindly provided.

Though,strangely, sometimes two Happy Meal toys would be in the bag.

Oneevening, when I was dressed up to head to the theatre,

I was aboutto walk into McDonalds

to buy aBig Mac, when it hit me.

Theemployees thought I had no money!

They heardme tell each daughter

I didn’thave the money for two Happy Meals,

they hadseen me in my comfy, shabby clothes

doling outthe amount owed in change and not dollars.

Theythought I was very poor,

and whilewe weren’t exactly flush with cash,

I did havemoney enough

to go outto the theatre downtown.

I realizedI couldn’t enter that McDoanlds.

Not lookinggood.

I wouldhave felt like an imposter,

a cheat anda scoundrel.

I honestlythought the employees were being kind

andstuffing in an old french fry order or chicken nuggets with sauce.

It didn'toccur to me that

I looked soshabby and poor.

I was astay-at-home mother,

so why onEarth did I need to look put together and nice?

Well, afterthat, my husband and I had a great laugh about it,

and I thinkI went out and bought a purse that wasn’t falling apart at the seams.

I slowlybegan to go to the McDonalds with my kids in their good clothes.

Eventually,the free goodies essentially stopped.

But notthose Happy Meal toys.

I really couldnot afford two of them,

and mygirls would have fought over just one.

The sweetemployees would tuck in two toys for the girls,

and I wasso thankful.

My familystill laughs about those days

and whatMcDonalds did for us.

They wereso sweet.

I knew I hadmade it financially

when Icould order two Happy Meals.

Things werelooking up for the Eppers,

and weeventually bought a larger home

fartherwest in the suburbs.

Thank youMcDonalds for giving

a poor-ishmom enough food and toys

to make thetrip more fun.

Thekindness was much appreciated.

When myhusband and I married,

I movedinto the 3 story,

old whiteframe house he shared with his father

who was aretired lawyer.

It was afew streets away from a beautiful North Florida beach.

The housewas old, but I was to learn that

it wassturdy enough;

it hadsurvived many hurricanes.

It was sopretty there! I loved it.

The littletown and its charming restaurants and stores were minutes away.

My husbandhad grown up there.

I wasteaching 7th and 8th grade then,

a 45 minutes’drive to the city from our house.

Once home,I would quickly get out of my dress,

hose andheels, (so miserable for the Florida heat)

and throwon some beach appropriate shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops.

My husband,who was taking care of his father

whosuffered from Alzheimer's, was usually doing some research.

He was anhistorian.

I had neverhad a man in my life

who lovedto read as much as I did.

Sometimes,he would even read to me.

It was somuch fun!

We seemedto fit so well.

While theother caregiver was still there,

David wouldjoin me briefly,

as wewalked our little dog to the beach and back.

Once on thebeach where I could finally relax,

 we would talk about our day.

On thisday, I happily chattered on about one of the new stores

that hadmoved into the town.

I loved toshop, or at least window-shop.

“Oh, it'sso pretty, just a perfect little boutique!

You shouldsee the window display!

There areall kinds of beautiful lightweight sweaters in the window

that wouldbe perfect for the winter here!”

My sweethusband took Benjy's leash.

“I have toget back and pay Martha before she goes.

But whydon't you walk up there and check out that new store?

I know youdon't have your purse with you,

but askthem to put what you like aside.

We couldpick it up later.

By the way,my treat.”

I knew whathe was doing.

I hadgained a little weight since I'd met him,

and he'dtake any opportunity to encourage me to get more excercise.

Until hewas diagnosed with Crohn's disease,

he'd beenan athlete:

a mountainclimber, a fencer, a surfer.

Of coursehe never mentioned the weight gain,

but I knewhe was worried about my health too.

Mypreferred thing to do when I got home

was to diveinto a book.

I'm awarethat I make terrible choices sometimes!

At thetime, I didn't even think about my clothes,

it wasusually casual in that town.

Theboutique was as glamorous

and theclothes inside were as pretty as I thought they'd be.

I foundsome gorgeous sweaters that would be great for the winter.

I took themto the lovely marble checkout desk.

The welldressed heavily made-up saleswoman

literallysnatched them from my hands

(no, myhands were not dirty).

“Why areyou touching these clothes?

Thesesweaters are VERY delicate and VERY expensive!”

I didn'tknow what to say.

“I know…Ijust…my husband and I live around the corner, and…”

“There areOTHER stores nearby that I believe will suit you better!”

Her voicewas frosty.

I was soembarrassed.

I hurriedhome where my husband was doing some research, smoking his pipe.

“So whatdid you find, my Little Shopper!

I can askMartha if I can pay her extra

to stay afew minutes more tomorrow.

We'll gopay for them and pick them up.

I know you,you don't like to try anything on in the store,

but maybeyou'd better! This place sounds pricey!”

Sadly, Itold him what happened. He hit the roof!

“What! Howdare she!

How dareshe assume.

I'll buyyou every sweater in that store.

I'll buythe most expensive…!”

I stoppedhim laughing.

“You know,I'm not really interested in that store anymore.

If we havesome extra money,

let's takethat trip to St. Augustine that we talked about.

We cancheck out that new Bed and Breakfast we saw.

I bet myparents will drive over and watch your dad.”

I thoughtit was so incredibly sweet of him

to careabout something so simple

as someonewho had treated me badly.

I was usedto men who couldn’t care less.

This was aman who had my back!

Anyway, Inever went back to that store.

Of course,little did I know David would only live about 5 more years.

Therewasn't much for Crohn's disease then.

My little dogwould die a year after that

(she was14. I think she knew how sad I was,

and triedher very best to hang on).

Even my dadwould pass

from amassive heart attack a year after that.

My lifewould change dramatically, as it often and always does--so quickly.

I was and alwayswill be a tomboy

who grew up inthe country outside of Philadelphia.

I grew up poor,

so I dislikewearing pants or jeans that are short.

And I can’t weardistressed jeans

because itreminds me of being poor.

Still, I am notcomplaining.

It is what itwas.

So I still don’tput much effort into clothing.

I amuncomfortable in anything too pricey,

unless I get itat a thrift store.

And 90 % of myclothing, except underwear and shoes,

comes from athrift type shop.

I am not rich,but not poor.

I showereveryday.

But some peoplejust cannot get past your looks, or your clothing.

They are poorsalespeople.

I wanted topurchase a new vehicle for my mother.

She loved havinga nice Cadillac, used but a great ride.

It was my giftto her and my dad for raising me.

It was tough toraise five kids.

But they triedthe best they could.

As I entered thedealership parking lot.

I was all of 20years old,

wearing a pairof jeans, work boots, and a tee under a flannel shirt.

As I walkedaround, no one came out to greet me.

Finally, Ientered the showroom,

but again, nogreeting.

I walked arounda bit, then saw a man enter in a suit.

Two people wereon him immediately.

I continued tolook at the cars

and decided onthe one I liked.

I sat inside,feeling the real leather seats,

 and enjoying the classic style of the car.

Still no onebothered.

As bottled waterwas being offered to the man, I left.

I drove thirtymiles away to another dealership

 in a town close to the highway.

I got out of mycar. Immediately,

a man came overwith a water bottle,

and gave me hiscard,

and startedchatting nicely.

He applied nopressure,

and we talkedabout the features of the cars.

He invited meinto the showroom, and continued to chat.

I saw the samecar on the floor, and went to it,

he answered allmy questions.

I bought the carfrom him.

I asked them todeliver it to my parents house

with a giant bowon the roof in two weeks.

They did, and myparents were thrilled - and shocked.

I had just soldmy lawn care business

that I had sinceI was 11.

I had to add abit of cash of my own

to the car deal,but not much.

 I would not have been able to start mybusiness

 if my dad didn’t drive me to a used lawnmowerlot

on the side of aguys garage/house.

The man let metake the mower, and pay later

when I talkedsome people into

letting me takecare of their lawn, and trim/prune their trees.

The guy hadnever met me or my dad

but he waswilling to let me have the mower without money.

So i pruned thatmans trees for the favor,

he was shockedan 11-year-old knew how to prune trees.

So back to thecar….

Whenever the carcame due for maintenance,

the dealershipdelivered a loaner car to my parents,

did themaintenance, washed the car and cleaned the inside,

and delivered itback to my parents.

I was thankfulthe first dealership ignored me.

I paid areasonable price,

and my parentswere taken care of

by an honest andcaring dealership.

So it all workedout perfectly.
I joined the Navy.

Sometimes rude people do you a favor.

Oh, HELL, yeah!

And if you haven’t tried this, you SHOULD! It’s fun!

那必须的！

如果你没试过，听我的，千万试试！太有意思！

One time long ago when I was “between jobs” as they say, I dressed immaculately in a three-piece suit for a morning interview for a managerial position. (Although I was definitely the winner of the “best-dressed” competition that morning, I wasn’t hired for a very simple reason: somebody else was more qualified. Such is life.)

很久之前，我曾有一段事业空档期，我早晨穿着一套一丝不苟的三件套西装，参加一个经理岗位的面试。（虽然那天我肯定是赢下了“最佳着装奖”，但并没有被录取，理由很简单：有人更适合。这就是生活。）

My wife had decided to “dress up” as well, to meet me for lunch after my interview. Not having a better place nearby, we chose to go to a favorite restaurant of ours we had been to literally dozens of times, both lunch and dinner.

妻子也决定“盛装打扮”一番，想在我面试结束后共进午餐。附近并没什么合适的地方，所以我们决定去那家最喜欢、去了得有几十次的餐厅。

In the southern USA city where I lived at the time, most people dress casually most of the time: T-shirts, shorts and sandals are practical and useful in the heat. You can’t tell the difference between a CEO of a major company and one of his employees without looking carefully at cars, watches, jewelry, shoes, etc.—and sometimes not even then.

当时我所在的那个美国南部城市，大多数人一般都穿得很随意：T恤、短裤和拖鞋在炎热的天气里非常实用。你根本分不清谁是公司总裁、谁是他的员工，除非你仔细地观察他们的车、手表、珠宝、鞋子等等——有时甚至靠这些都不行。

When we arrived for lunch, we had the most EXQUISITE service I had ever had at that place. Drinks were topped off or replaced before they were emptied, the waiter stood attentively close to our table in particular and more. We had a great lunch, so I left a nice tip, too.

到了以后，我们享受到了从来没体验过的极致服务。酒在喝完之前就会被续上或者换一整杯新的，服务员很体贴地特意站在离我们非常近的地方。我们享受了一次非常好的午餐体验，所以我小费给得也不少。

(Which of these people is a CEO? The scowling one, probably.)

（这些人里谁是总裁？估计是愁眉不展那位吧）

The next time we went back there, the service seemed… lackluster somehow. Slow, inattentive… one might even say reluctant. As we left, it hit me. OUR CASUAL CLOTHING! The people had associated our clothing styles, casual versus formal, with our perceived wealth and status. They didn’t seem to register our familiar faces in the fancy clothing, either.

后来我们再去的时候，服务就有点…不知怎的，乏善可陈。慢慢悠悠、毫不在乎…甚至可以说是不太情愿。直到我们要走的时候，我才突然明白，我俩穿得太随意！人们通过我们穿着打扮随意或是正式，联想到我们的财富和地位。他们好像也并不会因为上次盛装而记下我们的模样。

My wife and I talked about it, and we tried it again on another day, “dressing up” for dinner at another place… and got the same outstanding service, at a place that hadn’t been all that special before.

我跟妻子商量了一下，后来有天专门“盛装打扮”去了另一个地方…结果得到了相同的极佳待遇，而这家饭店以前从未有过什么特殊的地方。

Now, anytime we want to go out somewhere for a special event, or just for the experience of being treated as one of the “Gods,” I take out my three-piece suit, cuff-links and all, she dolls up in one of her best, and we hit the town.

现在，无论什么时候我们要出席特殊场合，或者就是单纯地想体验一下被尊为“上帝”的感觉，我就会祭出我的三件套、袖扣之类，而她也会精心打扮，然后向城里出发。

Try it!

大家都试试吧！

While I was growing up, my family moved every 3 months or so in the middle of the night. We had no time to tell anyone goodbye. We never returned to any of those places and we never knew where we would end up next.

我小时候，我家每三个月搬一次，而且都是在半夜。我们从来没有时间和任何人道别，从来不回到曾经待过的地方，也从不知道接下来会去哪。

I had been told as a teenager that my stepdad had caught his first wife cheating on him and had killed her & the man. Now that I’m an adult, I think the reason for our hasty departures every few months was because someone was after my step-father, and kept catching up with him. This was long before the internet or any way of nationally tracking people.

我十几岁的时候才知道，我继父将他的第一任妻子捉奸在床，然后杀了这对狗男女。现在我做为一个成年人，才想明白我们每隔几个月的匆忙离开是因为有人在追捕我继父，而且一直都紧追着他。当然了，那时还远没有互联网或者任何形式的全国范围追踪手段。

Another family secret: My great-great grandfather owned a southern plantation and had slaves. In all the family photos, there was a black woman. She was the only slave that was ever photographed with the family.

另一个不可外扬的秘密：我的曾曾祖父拥有一座南方的庄园和奴隶。在所有的家庭合照里，有一个黑人女性，她是所有奴隶中唯一一个进入合照的。

My grandmother was an extremely nervous person who was always greatly concerned with proper behavior and the importance of marrying the “right” people (society people with wealth and influence). My mother was the “black sheep” of the family and my grandmother was beside herself with the negative attention she drew to the family.

我的祖母是个极其神经质的人，总是特别在乎合适的言谈举止、婚姻的门当户对（要嫁娶财富、地位相当的人）。我的母亲就是所谓的家中“害群之马”，而我的祖母就一直特别介意她给家庭带来的负面影响。

When I was in my 40’s, my mother gave me some old family photos, including the family photos of my great-great grandfather’s family and photos of my grandmother as a teenager. That’s when it hit me: My grandmother had “passed” for white and married a white man (he surely must have known because he had seen the photos, but he never said a word that I know of). She was no doubt always worried she would be discovered (which was a MUCH bigger deal in those days). That’s why she was so concerned with decorum and marrying the right people.

我40岁时，母亲给我看了些家里的老照片，包括我的曾曾祖父一家和我祖母小时候的。那时我才意识到：我的祖母“通过测试”并嫁给了一位白人（我祖父肯定知道，因为他见过这些照片，但我从未听他提起过这些事），毋庸置疑的是她一直都在担心自己被发现（在当时可是极其严重的）。这也是她特别在意举止得体和婚姻合宜的原因。
 

My mom had black curly hair, high cheekbones and full lips but light skin. My grandmother’s hair wasn’t so dark but she had tight ringlets and if it weren’t for the fact of her pale skin (she wouldn’t spend time in the sun), any discerning person would suspect she was mixed.

我母亲有着黑色卷发、高颧骨和厚嘴唇，但皮肤是白的。我祖母的头发颜色不深但又密又卷，所以如果不是因为她浅色的皮肤（她从不在把自己暴露在阳光下），任何有洞察力的人都会怀疑她是混血。

For some reason, my family still denies it all, despite the logical conclusions one may draw. My only problem with it is that I’m pretty certain that young woman in my great-great grandfather’s pictures did not enter voluntarily into that affair. That breaks my heart. But I am a good person who has raised fine children and I hope that wherever she is, she is content that her bloodline continues with people who fight for equality and civil rights for all—especially people of color.

出于某些原因，我的家人还是全盘否认这些事情，无论你得出什么逻辑合理的结论。我唯一介意的是，我十分确定那个出现在我曾曾祖父相片内的年轻女孩，绝不是自愿参与那些事的，这让我太难过了。但我是一个养育了很多好孩子的好人，我希望无论她身在何方，都能因自己的血脉延续在了一群为了公平和文明的权利而不懈努力的人——尤其是有色人种身上，而感到欣慰。

When my now husband and I were dating, I was, for a period of time, the “bread winner” and often treated him and my son to a nice meal out when I wasn’t cooking or for a special occasion. I noticed that he would always order the same meal as me, or something that was the same price or less expensive.

我和现在的丈夫还在约会的时候，曾经有一段时间，我是“负责生计”的那个，不自己下厨或有值得庆祝的事情时，带他和我儿子出去吃饭都是我来付钱。我注意到他总是点和我一样的餐，或相同价位甚至便宜一些的。

When I finally asked him why he did that, rather than getting what he truly desired, he explained that whenever he goes out to eat and isn’t paying, he orders the same thing as the host as a sign of respect. It used to bother me that he wouldn't get what he wanted if he perceived it as too expensive, but I understand that he is the epitome of a Southern gentleman.

当我终于忍不住问他不点自己真正想吃的，而这样做的原因时，他解释说，只要和别人吃饭时自己不付钱，他就点和主人一样的以表示尊重。那时看到他因为觉得贵而不点自己喜欢的菜时，觉得心里特别不是滋味，但我完全理解，因为他是一位典型的南方绅士。

He still has the tendency to do that now, out of habit, but I found out that if I insist that he orders first I can get around it ;)

其实出于习惯，他现在还是经常会这样做，但我发现，如果我执意让他先点菜的话，问题就解决啦！

Back in the 1980’s, I used to hang around with a guy who would “order a ‘burger and fries’” no matter where we went. I thought he just enjoyed “burgers and fries” a LOT.

上世纪80年代的时候，我曾经有个朋友无论去哪吃饭，只点“汉堡薯条”。我以为他只是特别喜欢吃“汉堡薯条”。

Then I found out something that had been ‘hidden from view’ which I found absolutely astounding:

后来我发现了让我震惊的“幕后真相”。

HE WAS ILLITERATE. He “knew the alphabet”, but was never actually taught to read nor write. He was from Tennessee. His dad had been a miner, who died of black lung. I had no IDEA that this guy couldn’t read. At. ALL. I was pretty amazed but never said anything to him about it. I can’t even imagine the embarrassment that he faced in life.

他不识字。他“认识字母”，但从来没学过读、写。他来自田纳西州，父亲是一个旷工，由于黑肺病去世了。我从来都不知道他竟然不识字，但虽然感到吃惊，我并没有跟他提起过。我实在无法想象他在生活中面临的种种尴尬、难堪。