英语头条

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《

Today I was getting ready for a party thrown for ME at a fancy hot pot restaurant. While hurriedly leaving my house, a sharp piece of metal on the bottom of my door punctured my ankle. By the time I got to my own party, my sock was soaked in blood. I spent my celebration night getting stitches at the hospital. The next day I had to get a tetanus shot. I ended up being allergic to the original medication, so I had to buy medicine that was injected with a huge needle in my ass. It hurt like hell and it cost me 1000rmb. FML

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《

A 40-year-old Las Vegas hotel cleaner won a child support battle against a 28-year-old millionaire who she never slept with.

Jane was 36 when she stole a used condom from a then 24-year-old tech millionaire’s hotel garbage can.

She inserted the semen inside her vagina and became pregnant with a baby boy who is now 4-years-old.

During the child support hearing, Jane confessed that she never slept with the young millionaire and that she impregnated herself with his sperm while she was cleaning his room.

“He left his bank statement on the nightstand in his hotel room and I saw it when I was cleaning, at the time I wanted a baby so bad and I thought it would be better if I had a baby with a rich man”

The paternity test where conducted and the young millionaire is the father. The court ordered him to pay the mother of the child $2 million for the 3 years of his son’s life he missed.

His lawyers said their client is planning to pursue other legal actions against the mother for stealing his bodily fluids and violating his privacy.

Meanwhile, Jane had quit the hotel cleaning job and started a few businesses with her newfound fortune, she still has full custody of her child whom she named after his father.

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《

Today, for some bizarre reason, my favorite porn site now has a “like” button linked to Facebook, which I accidentally pressed. Now, all my family, friends and coworkers know that I am a fanatic of Asian threesome. FML

distressing 令人悲伤的

hammerhead shark 锤头鲨

discard 丢弃

slaughter 屠杀

reef 珊瑚礁