Yo Big! I’ve got a story to tell.

Influenzaaaaaa shit. It’s whatever.

Puerto Rico was lit, baby! Spark up, I’m an Olympic free diver now.

Work. There’s always a paint story. Do you know who Vinny Delpino is? Punxsutawney Phil’s colleague, Milton Mel, passed and no one wants to talk about it.

Weed menu for the night. Nikki Terry and how she lied to me in 6th grade. Do you have any friends that can sing like Cher or Michael McDonald? Well, now you do.

It was a friggin nor’easterrrrr. Weather, clothes, bitches and hoes. Spark up. We in there.

Bare with me. I’m just getting started.. Work, yo. I love my job. But work, yo. The people I run into still shock me. 11 years later. You should watch 90 day fiancé. You should listen to Reality Gays Podcast and Hey Babe podcast. I really can’t get past how good Hey Babe is. I’m sorry. Influencers and scam artists ruffle my feathers and does the bullshit people be posting on the web. Anyhoo. Spark up. We in there.

Influencer Kourtney is back with a new season! I touch on my 6 month bid in Florida, the best legal bud I’ve had so far, beauty routines and a bunch of bullshit in between. Sit down, put your feet up, roll a joint and listen to me bullshit from my closet in Bushwick. You don’t have to tell me, I already know the sound sucks. I’m a one man band, what do you expect? And Shout Out “Hey Babe Pod” along with the rest of you bitches. Yall got me off the couch and into the closet.

Big Pimpin with a new mini segment! Each week I’m going to release a minisode, a note reading episode. And maybe a journal entry or 5, if I’m feeling froggy. Grab a drink and spark the blunt, it’s story time kiddies.

Season Finale, y’all. Kourtney’s moving to Florida, y’all. Roaches have been around for 360 million years, 112 years before the dinosaur. I can’t stand it. The 2021 president better figure this shit out. Sad songs, sad song playlists? Nah. Explain that shit to me. And..PS mother fucking A: funerals and pictures of dead people are NOT A PHOTO OP. But, aside from that...it’s been a wild couple of months. Thanks for hanging tough, party people. Y’all the truth. See you on see-saw, Cindy.

On some real shit though..I think I cracked the code to my life. Just now. As I’m typing this shit out. I ain’t a box of chocolates, Gump. I’m a GD subscription box. Monthly, weekly, daily surprises in my dang life. I’m not regular surprises, I’m off the charts surprises. Which is cool. This week I’m an unfocused, refocused, determined and half motivated surprise. Like the Chihuahua I work with always says, “Gucci.” P.S. I THOUGHT I was cutting this episode short. I hit publish on a bitch..and boom..a subscription box surprise. Ain’t shit short when it comes to 52 minutes. “Gucci.”