You Didn't Ask For This

This week, we're rounding up a series of questions regarding children's books, including Goodnight Moon, Winnie the Pooh, Five Little Ducks, and Mr. Brown (of mooing fame). But first: some dream analysis. 

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Why is spicy the only flavor our butts can detect and replicate? We know what a bit is...but what is a tid? We tackle these quandaries while pontificating on the power of Biscoff before we're joined (and corrected) by Dr. Lindsey R. Barr and her correction corner. 

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A YDAFT Giant spams the Thoughtline with questions on Toy Story's Bullseye, the Muppets, and inanimate object matrimony. Then Matt wraps things up with the debut of a new closing segment: Bit Crit. 

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Look out! A new Definitive Ranking approaches! That's right: Definitive Ranking makes its triumphant return as we rank the original Super Smash Bros lineup based on actual lethality. But first: How many people do you have to have in your secret society for it to actually be considered a secret society and not just a group of friends?

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Matt makes his triumphant return to the pod just in time to check in with YDAFT Bingo. Then: In the Toy Story universe, how come Bullseye (Woody’s horse) is treated like an actual animal? Meanwhile, the other animal toys like Hamm, Slinky, and Rex are treated like fully sapient beings?

Finally, we close things out with some listener-demanded local legends. 

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Before Matt makes his triumphant return, allow him to pack you up in the podcast stroller and amble down memory lane. Here are some of our best-loved bits from episodes 71-80.

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Zacky D, the interim co-host for you and me, returns to fill in Matt's spot under the shady tree that is Eric's lanky body...but Matt isn't entirely absent this time. This episode marks the return of Hidden Objectives, this time provided for Poch and Zack by none other than Mr. Shea himself. Also, that weird ghost in the machine seems to still be around. Weird.

Question-wise, Eric and Zack tackle the following: what's your murder preference as a victim? You two are buying a dog together...annnnd go.

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While Matt takes a sabbatical to learn how to parent, Poch is joined by none other than the illustrious Zack Deuce (The Neatcast, Podcasters Assemble). Together they answer: 

What is the most unethical (but non-violent) thing you can do with a pencil? And if two psychics read each other’s minds at the same time, whose thought counts as the original thought? Also: What would you do if you saw an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

The two then "honor" Matt by predicting the name of his child. 

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This week we tackle a 'compound question' from the Discord. A three-part adventure, if you will. Can a Vampire Policeman enter my house if they have a warrant? If you had to set a trap for your co-host, what would you use as bait to guarantee they fall for it? And can the plot leading up to the vampire becoming a policeman and what the warrant is for be explained, as well as the preceding situation leading up to needing a co-host trap? 

Then Eric has a special closing segment for Matt as he departs for his sabbatical.

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How long is someone allowed to cough in a movie theater before you get someone to kick them out? Then: Lost in the Sauce....what sauce? 

To close this one out, we warm up our Definitive Ranking muscles with a mini-ranking of the Danish Butter Cookies. You know the ones.

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