You Didn't Ask For This

This week we tackle a 'compound question' from the Discord. A three-part adventure, if you will. Can a Vampire Policeman enter my house if they have a warrant? If you had to set a trap for your co-host, what would you use as bait to guarantee they fall for it? And can the plot leading up to the vampire becoming a policeman and what the warrant is for be explained, as well as the preceding situation leading up to needing a co-host trap? 

Then Eric has a special closing segment for Matt as he departs for his sabbatical.

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How long is someone allowed to cough in a movie theater before you get someone to kick them out? Then: Lost in the Sauce....what sauce? 

To close this one out, we warm up our Definitive Ranking muscles with a mini-ranking of the Danish Butter Cookies. You know the ones.

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Earth Day was two weeks ago, but that doesn't stop us from dedicating an entire episode to Mother Gaia (okay, mostly dedicated to Mother Gaia). We forego a closing segment to answer three new questions: What is the National Anthem of the Internet? How can I get The Youth to get excited about balloon release alternatives? And what do the trees in the park gossip about?

"Chocolate Rain" Original Song by Tay Zonday, used in accordance with its Creative Commons license. 

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Is a hose a cord? At what point can someone officially consider themselves "World Renowned/World Famous"? 

It's our first episode under new branding and the Squonk demands a sacrifice...so it's time for Hidden Objectives II.

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Why do we have to “get down to brass tacks?” What happens if brass tacks aren’t enough? What would we upgrade to? And how can we class up our euphamisms for using the bathroom?

Those answers await before Eric quizzes Matt on his knowledge of hobbies. 

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Join our Patreon!

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Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at [email protected] or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!

On this episode, we answer:

• What would happen if humans had a “low battery” warning — what would it look or sound like?
• Can beggers ever be choosers?

Then we return to the dark and mysterious halls governed by The Council of Matts in a special Circleback/Follow-up.

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Our questions this week:

• When does a guess become a guesstimate?
• You know that expression of incredulity, “if that’s true, I’ll eat my hat?” If you said this and then the thing turned out to be true, which of your hats would you choose to eat, and how would you prepare it for consumption? 

Then, Eric provides Matt with yet another new closing segment: No Context. It's got some visual aids, so check out the Instagram for the full experience. 

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What are the worst/next best ways to sign an email instead of "sincerely", "best", etc? We provide some spicier sign-offs for your next work email before answering an age-old question: what are the subjects of Mambos 1-4? 

Then, Eric's got a Pop Quiz for Matt: Baby or Bathwater? 

Join our Patreon!

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You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!

Uh oh: ya boys are out here bending the limits of the podcasting medium again. In this episode, the closing segment begins at the same time as the cold open as we debut a new episode-long game: Hidden Objectives. 

But don't worry, we've got questions for you as well: What should we say to people when they have the hiccups? And at what point does a snack become a meal, legally speaking?

And, oh yeah: Matt shares a very special announcement.

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Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at [email protected] or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!

If time travel is ever invented, what is the first prank that you would pull on someone from the past? What secrets should innocent-looking animals hold to keep us humans on our toes? Then we share two very different local legends. 

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Join our Patreon!

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Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at [email protected] or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!