You Good Bruh?

Today we are discussing the difference between selfishness and self-interest. These two terms are commonly used in the same breath however they have a totally different meaning. There are times when people will call you selfish based on you taking a genuine interest in yourself and your wellbeing. During this conversation we make clear distinctions between being selfish and being self-interested and how knowing the difference can free you from the guilt of choosing yourself. We discuss the difficulty with black families having issues with the word “no” and how boundaries can be blurry for such a long time. Sometimes you will lose people based on taking your own self-interest into account. No relationship should not be more important to you than your relationship with yourself.

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Today we are having a conversation about insecurity. We start by making the clear distinction between jealousy and insecurity. We discuss how insecurity is born out of emotional trauma that carries over into various relationships.  Insecurity can make people overly present or overly absent and we get into how growth is necessary and how life experiences over time can make you see your insecurities more clearly. The relationship that men have with their parents can play a role in insecurities that men have later in life and the relationship that men have with their mother can set the standards for what type of behavior is acceptable. Sam talks about how insecurity has caused him to strive for perfection.  Mikell explains how insecurity can cause men to choose the wrong type of women and we touch briefly on financial insecurity for men. 

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This is an interesting conversation about what dating looks like in today's society. We specifically talk about the dating game in Atlanta and the different variables that make the type of men that most women are looking for scarce. Has the scarcity of acceptable men shifted the narrative from women being the prize to men being the prize? Should men's standards for how they interact with women change? Should women put more effort into how they pursue men? Are men the prize? We bring a special guest Chi on the show to give his perspective on the dating game. Mikell doesn't think much has changed and that men still need to pursue women in the traditional way and that women are still the prize. 

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Today we are talking about the social limitations on the way men can love. Smokey Norful posted a picture holding his 16-year-old son on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner. It was posted in a black fathers group and the response to the photo was very polarizing. We talk about the need to be so manly that we don’t show our sons love properly and don’t create a safe space for our sons. We talk about whether love and the need for control and domination can coexist. Can you really focus on dominating women and children and still be able to love properly? We talk about why black men aren’t able to love the way we should love because overtime there has been severe instability in our culture and how our needs can impact our ability to actually love properly.

All About Love by Bell Hooks

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We are talking about the stresses of the holiday season and the need for a man to show up and show out during this time. The pressures of being thoughtful become harder the longer you’re in a relationship and sometimes it is hard to fill in the blanks during the holiday season. Even though men have the best intentions in gift-giving sometimes intentions do not pay dividends so we have to get creative with the way we approach this season. How much of the gift-giving process plays into our ego as men and as providers for our families? We discuss performance anxiety and how we cope with the anxiety that comes with everything surrounding the holidays. 

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Joe Dupe wants to know if Tell Mikell and Sam Dupe are voting for Joe Biden.  Joe Dupe doesn't care for the crime bill that Joe Biden authored and feels like Joe Biden has been a bigger detriment to black people than Donald Trump. Sam, Joe, and Mikell have a very spirited debate about the candidates and their platforms and which candidate is the less of two evils.  Mikell explains why he feels black people have some blame associated with the crime bill and the overwhelming support that the crime bill had when it was initially proposed. This is a conversation you don't want to miss. 

Sam Dupe, Tell Mikell, and Joe Dupe get together to talk about the Bill of Rights. In this episode, we talk about the 1st and the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution and how each political party has approached them in recent years. We discuss how we feel about the right to protest and freedom of speech and the push to censor the news media versus the censorship of social media. We also talk about how the 2nd Amendment should be the amendment for black people in this country being that we were directly enslaved. This conversation is the introduction to a very spirited part 2 where we discuss which party black people should be affiliated within this coming election. 

Today we are getting political with the Presidential Election less than 100 days away it's time to get engaged. Sam talks about his personal experiences with Congressman John Lewis. We talk about being more involved and also talk about how black men in the political arena are threatening. We discuss Everton Blair's situation with the Gwinnett County School Board where another (white) board member whispers to the superintendent and says she wish she could strangle Everton Blair (black) board member.  We discuss how being black in politics can clearly be a dangerous game and also discuss some ways we can start participating locally to help out our communities and the people that look like us.  We discuss black Political Action Committees and how we may be able to leverage them in order to get our policies passed. We gotta get political.

https://collectivepac.org/

https://naaga.co/

Today Sam and Mikell are talking about toxic relationships. Mikell explains how toxic relationships typically come from insecurity and a lack of self-identity. We discuss what the toxic relationship spiral and how both parties can be complicit to creating the toxic environment that the toxic relationship thrives within. Why don't people just leave these types of relationships? We talk about the fear of starting over and the unknown.  What are the signs that you need to leave a toxic relationship? 

Partnership Against 'Domestic Violence 

https://padv.org/