You Guys are No Fun

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It’s nap time in the studio this week, so we’re donning our P.J.s and breaking out the warm cockroach milk. As we wind down, we’ll discuss our week and all the things that happened to us. As per usual, Chester has been watching movies and playing games. This week, he saw “Solo: A Star Wars Story”. I’m not going to get into that very much, because it’s not a kind review. He’s also been playing TerraGenesis – a mobile game that simulates terraforming the planets and moons in our Solar System. Charles saw “Deadpool 2” and (surprise!) he didn’t like it. We’re not really surprised by this news, though, because Charles hates everything.

Rian still hasn’t finished grouting his bathroom because he was actually doing things worth telling us about. First among those things is seeing “Black Panther”. He liked it, but doesn’t understand why it was so popular. He also dealt with an almost-robbery. Someone was apparently robbing houses in his neighborhood and his house almost got hit. Luckily, a neighbor saw the suspicious character and called the police.

This week’s bad beers include Bud Light Orange, Daura Märzen imported from Spain, and and Wit(h) Passion, a passion fruit beer. The Bud Light Orange can best be described as an aggressively bland mixture of Bud Light mixed with Tand. The passion fruit beer smells like an open wound, but tastes like a fruit rind. Finally, the Daura Märzen beer, which Rian thought was gluten free, is actually “gluten removed”. It was brewed with grains, but may not contain gluten. They can’t be sure. Either way, it was a delicious balance of malt and hops.

As a rare treat, Charles subjects himself to a 2nd bad beer in the same episode! Briny Melon Gose from Anderson Valley, the saltiest beer ever made. When they said “briny” they weren’t lying. It’s like drinking a glass of ocean water that had a piece of watermelon soaking in it for a few minutes. This shit is fucking disgusting.

Charles delivers a real gem to the group this week when he tells us all about this new hotness. Apparently the latest trend in “super foods” is harvesting crystallized protein by slicing open a specific breed of cockroach found only in Hawaii. The fun part is that there’s no proof that consuming this shit isn’t harmful to humans, yet. Good times.

More details about the upcoming “Bobba Fett” film have been announced, including the director – James Mangold, director of “Logan”. Will he live up to his name? This will lead to a discussion of the future of the Star Wars I.P. and Disney’s nefarious plan to make everyone hate Star Wars.

All this, and more, on this week’s You Guys are No Fun.

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This week, the boys kick things off with some not-so-bad bad beers. Lorenzo gets to drink a delicious blueberry flavored breakfast beer from Mudshark Brewery. Rian discovers a stout he doesn’t hate from Sleepy Dog Brewery. Chester, however, fucks himself with a disgusting sour from a brewery that doesn’t deserve a mention.

They discuss the leaked trailer for the aborted TV series reboot of Tremors featuring Kevin Bacon. Apparently, the new series completely ignores all of the Tremors sequels, which no doubt led to it’s demise. We don’t care, though – more Tremors is good Tremors! Hollywood has carried a lot of garbage to term that never should have seen the light of day (like 5 out of 6 Tremors movies) and I hope that this (potential) gem gets a second chance.

Next, they discuss the “remastered” version of Parappa the Rapper on PS4. We all remember it as “Parappa the Rappa”, but apparently it was always “Parappa the Rapper”. Much like the Berenstein Bears actually being spelled “Berenstain”, we’re pretty sure this is the result of a rift in our reality caused by time travelers fucking with the time-line. Oh well, I guess this is the world that we live in.

After that, they discuss Steam’s announcement that you will soon be able to stream your PC games to your mobile device (as long as you’re on the same Wi-Fi) using their free app. As awful as playing PC games on a mobile device sounds, at least it will offer support for Steam and MFI (Made For Idiots) controllers.

Finally, they cover the updated ( and government mandated) user agreements from Sony and Nintendo (but not Microsoft). Finally, gamers are influencing legislation in a positive way! Next up, let’s pass a law forcing game developers to offer the option to play as either gender in every single video game ever! Personally, I can’t imagine anything more satisfying than (finally) getting to play a realistic version of Metroid. A female space-marine? Pff – get real, Nintendo.

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Honestly, we’re lucky this episode is even happening. See, Rian broke the computer while watching speed-runs and eating burritos. Fortunately for all of us, he managed to get it back into working order before recording day!

As usual, we kick things off by checking in with our heroes. Chester has spent his time off watching Black Lightning (he likes it!) and getting a Platinum trophy in God of War (he REALLY likes it!). A Lighter Shade of Charles (Lorenzo) has been playing the new South Park game in Indiana for some reason. Rian re-tiled his bathroom… yep.

This week’s bad beer segment is brought to you entirely by Chester. For Rian, we have Yeti Stout from Great Divide (it smells like silly string and tastes like burnt coffee). Lorenzo gets a Feisty Chihuahua from Sleepy Dog Brewery (it’s actually not bad – Chester chose it because of the name (he’s a racist)). Chester finishes the segment with a Hawaiian beer called… Lilikoi Kepolo from Avery Brewing in Colorado! An island beer coming straight out of the Rockies! Makes total sense!

In some fun news for us, we find that the new CEO of GameStop is no longer the CEO of GameStop! After just 3 months in the position, he’s already resigned! I guess he couldn’t stomach eating all of those dicks that we [politely suggested] he eat.

In less exciting news, Walmart leaked some new releases from this years E3. Almost all of the leaked titles are sequels, which is all that thrilling. There’s a few titles that excite us, like Borderlands 3, and… that’s it. The rest of the titles are bleh.

Speaking of titles that are bleh, a real-world easter-egg was discovered in Destiny 2 through in-game-puzzles, which is pretty cool. It was discovered in upstate New York – effectively alienating 99.999% of the game’s client base. That’s good marketing!

Additionally, Belgium has passed some serious legislation concerning loot boxes. Because it’s gambling, it will soon be regulated by Belgium’s gaming commission. The organization will be given complete control over the “random” number generators, the odds of winning specific items will have to be displayed, as well as prohibiting the sale of loot boxes to minors.

Finally, the first trailer for the new Predator movie has been released and it does a great job of concealing how fucking terrible the movie is going to be. Seriously. The script for the movie was leaked and it sounds fucking terrible. You can read more on reddit here.

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