You, Me and the Family Tree - A Family Constellation Podcast

Episode 25: The Business of Family Constellations with Leslie Nipps

We spend a lot of time learning how to facilitate Family Constellations, but what happens when we want to make this work our profession?

In this episode, I sit down with Leslie Nipps, a longtime Family Constellations facilitator and trainer. I took basic Family Constellations training with Leslie in 2020, so I was especially curious to hear about her own journey of building a practice and making a living from this work.

We talk about what it really takes to build a Family Constellations practice — finding clients, communicating the work in ordinary human language, finding your niche, getting business support, continuing to grow professionally, and developing the resilience to keep going when things don’t work.

As Leslie says, building a business is “a marathon, not a sprint.”

We also explore how a practice doesn’t necessarily develop in a straight line. We learn by doing, trying, adjusting, and discovering along the way what kind of practitioner we want to be.

About Leslie
Leslie Nipps is the founder of Convivium Constellations and the creator of the annual Western Constellations Intensive in New Mexico, where she also teaches.

Interested in experiencing Family Constellations with me?
I offer individual sessions, groups, and workshops, in person and online.

[email protected]
www.irisconstellations.com

You, Me & the Family Tree
Hosted by Iris Shaham

© 2026 Iris Shaham. All rights reserved.

Episode 24: Freedom and Contribution — Taking Our Place in Life with Suzi Tucker

What does it mean to be free? And once we experience more freedom, what do we do with it?

In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore the connection between freedom and contribution through the lens of Family Constellations.

We talk about Hellinger’s distinction between freedom from and freedom to—freedom from the constraints of the past, and freedom to turn toward the future and create something new.

From there, we explore contribution: Does it need to be visible or significant? Who are we contributing to? And what changes when we think of contribution not as achievement, but as something we offer to life?

Our conversation also moves through belonging, taking our place, the freedom to say no, and moving toward the future without having to replicate the past.

As Suzi says:

“Life will go on without you, but it benefits from your contribution.”

What do freedom and contribution mean to you?

About Suzi Tucker
Suzi Tucker is a writer, teacher, and Family Constellations facilitator whose work explores family systems, language, belonging, and the ways we carry our histories forward.

Work with Iris
I offer private Family Constellation sessions and ongoing groups. Learn more about my work and find all podcast episodes at:

www.irisconstellations.com

You, Me & the Family Tree — A Family Constellation Podcast
© 2026 Iris Shaham. All rights reserved.

Episode 23: Back to the Foundations — The Essentials of Family Constellations with Suzi Tucker

I began this conversation thinking about weaving—something I’ve been doing lately with leaves and willow. As I was weaving, I found myself thinking about basics and movement, and wondering about the connection to Family Constellations.

It made me want to return to the foundations: What are the essential ideas we come back to, even after years of learning and facilitating?

Suzi brought the image of weaving back into the work in a way I loved: as facilitators, we are also weavers, bringing together the threads a person carries with the threads of those who came before them.

In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore some of the foundations of Family Constellations and what they mean in practice:

• Looking for the metaphor beneath a client’s question
• The “kitchen table” and what we inherit from our family of origin
• Parents give and children take
• Everyone belongs
• The balance of giving and taking
• What it means that parents are “big” and children are “small”
• Hellinger’s earlier and later work
• Essential Hellinger books and recordings
I love going back to the foundations. We can meet them again from where we are now, understand them differently, and continue to make the work our own.

I hope you enjoy this conversation.

Connect with Iris
www.irisconstellations.com

© 2026 Iris Shaham. All rights reserved.

Episode 22: Our Relationship with Money — with Ingala Robl

What is our relationship with money—and how much of it is shaped by the families and systems we come from?

In this conversation, I sit down with Family Constellations teacher and trainer Ingala Robl to explore money through a systemic lens.

The inspiration for this episode began at Ghost Ranch, where I participated in an exercise Ingala offered on the spirituality of money. The exercise invited us to look at receiving money together with the work, effort, and family values behind it—and it left me with many questions.

Why can receiving money be so difficult, particularly for therapists and people in helping professions? What do we learn about money from our parents and grandparents? And what happens when money becomes a topic between couples?

We explore:

• The beliefs about money we absorb as children
• Why helping professionals may struggle to charge and receive
• Money, work, pleasure, and rest
• Mother, father, and prosperity from a Family Constellation perspective
• Unconscious family loyalties around money, loss, and success
• Giving and receiving as an exchange
• Money within couples and differences in income
• The value of unpaid work and caring for children and the home
• What it means for our work and money to be “in the service of life”

I hope this conversation invites you to become curious about your own relationship with money—not only how much you have or don’t have, but what money represents in your family and in your life.

What did you learn about money in your family?

About Dr. Ingala Robl

Ingala Robl is a Family Constellations teacher, trainer, and founder of Instituto Sowelu in Mexico. She has decades of experience in systemic work, Family Constellations, couples work, and education.

Connect with Iris Shaham
https://www.irisconstellations.com

Connect with Ingala Robl / Instituto Sowelu
https://institutosowelu.com

© 2026 You, Me and the Family Tree — A Family Constellation Podcast. All rights reserved.

Everything Is Alive — A Conversation on Shamanism with Shavasti

What is shamanism?

In this conversation, Shavasti and I explore shamanism and the many experiences that have shaped Shavasti's understanding of it.

Growing up between cultures and languages, Shavasti has spent decades exploring ancestral wisdom, indigenous traditions, and the ways different cultures understand our relationship with the living world. As our conversation unfolds, he shares his understanding of shamanism—not primarily as a set of practices, but as a way of seeing the world, where everything is alive and everything exists in relationship.

One idea that especially stayed with me was Shavasti's invitation to see ourselves not as separate from the world around us, but as part of a living web of relationships—with people, animals, plants, places, and the land itself.

In this conversation, we explore:

• What shamanism means from Shavasti's perspective
• Living between cultures and how it shaped his worldview
• History, ancestry, and the stories that continue to live through us
• The relationship between shamanism and Family Constellations
• Seeing the natural world as alive and in relationship
• How this perspective influences the way we meet clients and life

I hope you enjoy the conversation.

Warmly,

Iris

About Shavasti

Shavasti (John L. Payne) is an international teacher, author, and Family Constellations facilitator. He is the author of The Language of the Soul and The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations. For more than three decades, he has taught and facilitated workshops around the world, integrating Family Constellations, ancestral wisdom, and his exploration of shamanism into his work.

Connect with Shavasti

Website: https://www.shavasti.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shavasti

Connect with Iris

Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com

Email: [email protected]

Thank you for listening.

© 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

Episode 20: Meeting Unexpected Death — A Family Constellation Perspective with Suzi Tucker

How do we meet death when it arrives unexpectedly?

This conversation was inspired by the recent loss of my dear friend, a beloved member of my community, whose life, wisdom, and presence continue to touch many people.

In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore grief, loss, and the questions that emerge when someone we love dies sooner than we imagined.

Drawing from a Family Constellation perspective, we talk about the shock of loss, the future we imagined with those we love, the role of ancestors, and the ways people continue to influence us even after they are gone.

An idea that stayed with me after our conversation ended is that those who die move from standing in front of us as teachers and guides to standing behind us as part of our life force.

Together we explore:

• Unexpected death and the shock of loss
• The space grief needs
• Ancestors, life force, and legacy
• Losing someone recently versus carrying a loss from many years ago
• How death can awaken us to what truly matters
• "I Will Show You the World" — continuing on while carrying those we have lost

Whether you are grieving someone you love, supporting others through loss, or reflecting on your own relationship with life and death, I hope this conversation offers companionship, perspective, and reflection.

Warmly,

Iris

Episode 19: Please Just Hold Me — A Conversation on Family Constellations and Healing with Shavasti

What do clients really want?

Beneath the stories, symptoms, and questions people bring to a session, is there a deeper longing?

In this conversation, Shavasti shares his view that beneath many of the concerns clients bring lives a deeper request:

"Please just hold me."

Together we explore what it means to be held—not fixed or changed, but deeply met in our humanity.

We talk about healing sentences, love as an invitation, the role of the facilitator, and what becomes possible when we no longer have to hold everything alone.

Two powerful images stayed with me long after our conversation ended: being held and falling on the sword of truth—allowing life as it is to touch and open the heart.

I hope you enjoy the conversation.

© 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

Episode 18: Working with Large Groups in Family Constellation Work — with Bertold Ulsamer

What changes when we move from working with individuals or small groups to facilitating a room full of people?

In this conversation, Bertold Ulsamer shares reflections and practical wisdom from decades of facilitating Family Constellations in groups ranging from intimate circles to audiences of hundreds and even thousands.

Together, we explore:

• Preparing yourself before entering a large group
• Working with nervousness and performance anxiety
• Creating connection and engagement in larger groups
• Working with difficult participants and strong group dynamics
• The role of silence and spaciousness in facilitation
• Respecting your own limits as a facilitator
• The difference between seeking approval and serving the work
• Why large groups may awaken old dynamics around attention, being seen, and our relationship with the mother

One idea I especially appreciated was Bertold's suggestion that what we need as facilitators can be offered to the group. If we need a moment to slow down, reconnect, or breathe, inviting the group into that experience can create connection for everyone.

Whether you facilitate Family Constellations, teach, coach, lead workshops, or simply find yourself speaking in front of groups, I hope you'll find something valuable in this conversation.

Website: irisconstellations.com
Email: [email protected]

© 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

Episode 17: Adolescence — Standing Behind Our Children as They Grow
with Suzi Tucker

What does it mean to support our children without holding them back?

In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore adolescence as a bridge between childhood and adulthood—a time of experimentation, uncertainty, belonging, and becoming.

We talk about growth as a messy and often "sloppy" process, the challenge of allowing our children to discover their own strengths and capacities, the search for belonging, and why we don't need to fully understand our adolescents in order to love them.

As a mother of three teenagers, I really appreciate this conversation.

Not easy to apply, but who said life is easy.

I especially value the reminder that we don't need to fully understand our children in order to love them, trust them, and stand behind them as they grow.

Connect with Suzi Tucker:
www.suzitucker.com

Connect with Iris Shaham:
www.irisconstellations.com

© 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

Episode 16: Menopause — A Movement Toward Freedom
with Suzi Tucker

Menopause is a subject very close to my heart.
As a woman in my fifties, I find myself living the questions that menopause brings—
through the body, emotions, relationships, identity, and the changing sense of self that can emerge during this stage of life.

In this conversation, I’m joined again by the wonderful Suzi Tucker—an international Family Constellations teacher, writer, and public speaker .

Together, we explore menopause, a change in life.

We speak about:
– Menopause as a threshold and a “change of life”
– Aging, visibility, beauty, and the female body
– Symptoms, hot flashes, mood changes, and the nervous system
– Freedom, creativity, and contribution later in life
– The idea of “befriending” our symptoms rather than fighting them
– Lineage and generations in Family Constellations work

Toward the end of the conversation, I ask Suzi:
What is a good sentence for a woman in this stage of life to say to herself while looking in the mirror?

Her answer:
“I am grateful that I am here.”

Connect with Suzi Tucker:
https://www.suzitucker.com

Connect with Iris Shaham:
https://www.irisconstellations.com

© 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.