Ken:

Tyler is an incredible award-winning life coach, a marketing strategy Guru, and he is fantastic at developing the sales process in people. In Monday’s podcast we talked about learning to sail a ship and how it takes wind and waves to sail. So, what struggles in your life have helped you to get to where you are?

Tyler:

Well, I would say every single struggle that I've ever been through got me to where I am today. specifically, some of the bigger ones, like earlier on, was actually my parents' divorce and during that time. I didn't think of it as a struggle as a kid, I was 12 yrs. old. I just thought hey they got a divorce that's how it works, but growing up I was like founded and grounded in family and faith and then to have it all the sudden just ended in a divorce, out of the blue. I didn't even know they were arguing or they were upset. So, I felt I took on this personal responsibility that I did something wrong that I could have done something to prevent that and that was really tough. I ended up struggling with worst things and going through depression, from about 12 to 18 years old, suicidal tendencies, pornography addictions, video game addictions, and just struggling to tell the truth. Like I did those things but I never told anybody. I thought I just had to pretend and act like the perfect kid and do all the things that everybody tells me to do. I felt like I was wearing this mask and even though I got good grades, was class president and VIP and I got MVP in high school, and all the stuff. I thought what is the whole point? Because at the end of the day I felt very disconnected, unheard, and unloved. One of the best ways is the abundant alignment technique previously known as the complete alignment technique. It basically goes in, and how it works is; in our bodies we have what's called fight or flight responses. (AKA allergies and addictions.) So, when I have a goal, something I want to go toward my body's interpretations of that goal... So, we're in the game of turning those off so that they don't happen anymore. In this case it might be something like I might feel like I'm not good enough, I can't ever please her, so then I'd tap anywhere on the body where I feel that feeling of anger or frustration. I’d tap on the body and repeat, I just can't ever please her, I'm just upset. Just tap wherever that is felt on the body. Then what you're going to do is to tap on your forehead and then continue tapping all the way from your forehead over the top of your head, down to the base of your neck while breathing in through the nose. Then you're going to breathe out while going back to the forehead while tapping again from the forehead back to the back of the neck while breathing out. You're going to do those three times, so it's going to be breathing in while tapping and then exhaling while tapping. You are going to do each three times in a row. Then while tapping you're going to pant like a dog, 3 times and then you smile at the end. What that does is, when you state the negative, it's like taking a big rock and throwing it into a pond. It makes his huge disconnection or ripple. In that moment your fight flight responses are firing, you're wanting to run, you're wanting to hide, or you want to confront it, all the stuff. Yet when you're tapping it's like throwing in lots of little rocks around that big rock and it stops the waves, stops the disruption, and brings it into a state of peace.

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So the three C’s are Choice, Chance, Change. They are from Zig Ziggler and they go like this: “You must make a choice to take a chance, or your life will never change.” Change is the outcome we want. But the choice and chance have to come before the change. We have to become what we want before we get it! But often the change that we want is the “Plan” that we talked about in episode 194. It might be a monetary goal, We want to be rich or we want $30,000 or $100,000 a month. But if that is not us now then there needs to be change to get us to that point. So we need to make a choice and take a chance, in order to get to that change that we want. What if the thing we want isn’t about money? It really doesn’t matter what the goal is.  It doesn’t matter what you want. Maybe you want to be more of a leader. Maybe you want to be happier. If there is a difference between what you want and where you are now then you can make a choice and to take a chance so that the change can come into your life.

Have you ever been scared by change? Okay not you, but maybe you have known someone that is scared by change right? I guess a better question is who hasn’t been. Many people try to blame life and the things that happen to them on the outcome. When it is the three C’s that make up what we experience. Then we have an amazing life.

The biggest single block in your life usually comes from you. Maybe it is due to fear. Fear can stop you in your tracks. You could fear that it might not work or maybe that you will not be accepted, or are not worthy. There are so many stories you could tell yourself that would produce the feeling of fear that you are experiencing. Fear slows mental action. It renders people incapable of acting sagely. Fear strips us of our power, boldness, originality, and confidence. Or maybe it is due to allergy which causes an overreaction or a negative bodily reaction to the change you want. This is often seen as a self defeating behavior. But there are no self defeating behaviors, our bodies get us what we expect and what they are in alignment with.  If you wonder if your body has memory just think about the term muscle memory. Each muscle in your body has memories. So we get what we are not afraid of nor allergic to.  If there is a part of our body that is not in alignment with what we want. We will not be able to bring it into our lives. But there are ways to rid yourself of fears and align your body to what you want.

Choosing to take a chance to change thoughts can be a daunting process. But it is much less daunting than continuing to  follow the path that you are on. If you are unsure where you are, or where you need to start or need the guidance to build a program to get you to where you want to be. If you need help aligning your body to get what you want. I can help. That is what the “I Have Value” program is made for. So contact me now so we can get you going this way you can get to the future or plan that you want and do it in a shorter time frame..

In our next blog or podcast we will be talking about the Abundance Alignment Technique with Tyler Watson… So we will see you then.

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Today I have a story, Mr. Clark spent most of his life's savings on non-refundable tickets for a ship to carry him, his wife, and 5 children to America. About a week before the ship left one of Mr. Clark's sons was bitten by a dog. The Dr. that treated the boy recommended the boy be quarantined for his safety and the safety of those around him. Mrs. Clark suggested that Mr. Clark and the other kids go ahead and make the journey. But Mr. Clark was unwilling to leave his wife and ill son behind. So the day came and on April 10th 1912 at the Southampton Port. Mr. Clark stood on the dock with tears of disappointment and frustration streaming down his face while he watched the ship as it left for America. Think about it, all of his money was leaving the port. He believed his future and dreams all gone. I’m betting he felt alone. I would have been asking why? Why me, why now? I understand what he was going through. There have been times when I felt I had lost everything. I watched as my “ship” left the port. We talk about our “ship coming in,” that is a common phrase. But that also means the ship can leave. So as he is setting on the dock watching it go. Maybe he even second guessed himself. Maybe he said I and the other kids should have gone. Maybe he told himself he was weak. What kind of thoughts would have gone through your mind? We as humans love to make plans but life often doesn’t go by our plans. But what if the experience was for our protection?

You look at your suffering and compare it to the suffering you see in others. The problem is like we talked about in podcast 190. We only see the before and after the transformation not the middle. We often don’t see the adversity of others. It is important to look outside of ourselves and see the misery that others are experiencing. If we look carefully most of the time we will find that others are also facing difficulties. 

Suffering is relative; it doesn’t matter the experience it will completely fill the human soul and conscious mind. It can fill the soul and mind because of the story we tell about our suffering. With the story we can fill small crevasse or the largest buildings. This is not to say your distress is insignificant. On the contrary the story you tell yourself is compelling and can cause much pain. If you can’t see the disaster of the boat sinking the pain can go on and on because the story does. But it may be that the plan you had would not have been in your best interest. Even though it looked like it would be. Recognize that God or the Universe might want something else for you. Maybe a street or highway 5 miles over that will get you to the place you are meant to be rather than the road ahead of you. Be sure to look at it from that point of view. The things that happen are for you not to you or against you! We often tell people that they shouldn’t have to experience this, or outlive certain people. But that is wishful thinking. In life and in accordance with natural law there are times when youth have to go through horrible things and some parents do lose their kids. I get that these things happen but you are in charge of your story. So instead ask a better question: ask yourself what now? If you need help with this I can give you tools and keep you accountable. The “You Have Value” program is specifically created for you. It will give you tools that work for you! So reach out to me to set up a time to talk and let us create the value so that you can have an amazing life!

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I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott. So let’s break this down. On a beautiful calm day, sitting on the water in a sailboat how do you make the boat do anything? It would be a frustrating waste of time. Then the bigger the boat you want to move, the bigger the breeze you need. We need to learn to use different tools for the same wind. Sometimes we may need to tack to move in the direction we want to go. Storms are needed to sharpen skills and practice your abilities to manage systems. When storms are around it is a great time to learn how to handle the conditions. So we need not fear challenges. Challenges are what helps us to learn and grow. So many people have a fear of the challenges. Fear can stop us before we start. We may not even get on the sailboat due to our fears. But we can never learn to sail nor ever get better at sailing if we don’t face the storms.

Challenges are part of most cultures. They can come in the form of dares or as rites of passage. It wasn’t until the last couple of generations that we started trying to shield our kids from challenges. This is not working well. Imagine how bland life would be without challenges. If we were given everything without challenge there could be no climbing, no fixing things, no sports, or competition. We would not even be able to establish relationships. It would be like eating macaroni and cheese for every meal. 3 times a day 7 days a week! I would be done with that soooo fast. I don’t care if it is a wonderful mac and cheese. I would hate that.

Why might you not want a challenge? Challenges can result in failure; this can bring on feelings of disappointment, shame, embarrassment, or humiliation. On the flip side it can result in success; bringing on awareness of honor, praise, pride, and dignity. Worry is merely sustained fear caused by indecision. So if you are concerned use Brian Tracy’s “The Worry Buster.” Step one, define the situation clearly in writing. Many times the problems can be solved by defining them clearly. Step two, now determine the worst possible outcome. Here again write it down, Writing it is important. Otherwise it will morph and change and you will not get the worst out. Step three is to accept the worst should it occur. Once you accept what is to be your mind will become clear and calm. Step four Is to take action. Do whatever is possible to improve upon the worst. To overcome worry it takes purposeful action. If you make yourself busy doing something about the situation you will lose the worry. Action will give you confidence, courage and a sense of control.

The thing about life is “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” Like we talked about in episode #165 with Sara Blakely you can rethink your story about failure. Just like her father helped her to reframe the idea of  failure into not trying something. Whether or not you want challenges depends on your story of what are the consequences to the challenges. The definition of failure and your story about it can be changed. You cannot achieve success if you never attempt things. You have the ability to determine the power that failure and success have in your life. You can increase the power of success and decrease the power of failure. If you did not fear rejection if it had no power how would today be different what would you do differently?

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Ken:

Evelyn has a degree in biology with a chemistry minor. She has studied healthy eating for years. Thanks for being here today, welcome Evelyn. So glad to have you here.

Evelyn:

I hope this goes as well as it usually goes.  I know how much you prepare for your podcast.

Ken:

So tell me about your history and why you started getting into health?

Evelyn:

My mother has been on every single diet on the planet, except possibly I don't think she was ever injected with HCG. But everything from Weight Watchers to Fen-Fen and I watched her go through this journey of always battling her weight and never wanted to be on it. But found myself learning things from her that she probably didn't want me to learn. The biggest one was to use this food as my drug of choice. So in high school I actually started going to Overeaters Anonymous. The second biggest thing that I've learned is probably that; the closer it is to the way God made it, is probably the best way for me. If it has something that someone came up with in chemistry class it might not be so healthy. I grew up on margarine; my parents are teachers and money was tight and my mom managed to feed 7 people on $100 a month at one point in time. Granted this was during the ‘70s but still.

Ken:

Okay I just so how does food affect life?

Evelyn:

Well like I said before it should be a pleasure, it should be a celebration. It should be something that is satisfying emotionally, spiritually as well as physically. Food that doesn't taste good doesn't do that. Food that doesn't feel good after I eat  it doesn't do that. But feasting, breaking bread or whatever, is something that is culturally unanimous or ubiquitous. You can't go anywhere where eating together isn't significant, no matter what your culture is. It is also a way of connecting with your past, it's a way of connecting with your family and its way of connecting with your own body. There is so much to be said for being even a little bit mindful while you eat. Stopping to smell what it smells like and does it smell good?

Ken:

If there were three things that you leave people that could lead people to have an amazing life what 3 ideas would  you leave them?

Evelyn:

#1 is to find a way to have a little more grace with yourself. Instead we have a tendency to condemn ourselves. Oh I can't believe I just ate that, or I can't believe I ate all that. Maybe we say that's not on my eating list, whatever you're eating list is. You know, you wouldn't have beaten up your best friend over it, don't beat yourself. You got to live with yourself more. It's really a good idea to be kind. Okay so that was one.

#2 Learn to cook. It can be a little bit hard but at the same time there are recipes out there with 3 to 5 ingredients.

I guess the last thing is share it with everybody. You know, I said before you may not want to be evangelistic about it, but at the same time sit down with others and share it with them. Make it social, it makes a difference.

Ken:

I want to acknowledge you because you are the most amazing person. I love you, I enjoy every moment we're together. There is nobody that I'd rather be with and I love what you bring to food, I mean, we do not eat like average Americans.

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One of the newest fields in psychiatry is the field of nutritional psychiatry. Your brain is always on. It works 24 /7. Because of that it needs high octane fuel yet most people give it The 87 octane. Your brain can get by on it for a while but it will start to show. Your brain will start to backfire. Sputter when you hit the throttle. The fuel you give your body affects the structure and function of your brain. The processes of your brain affect your moods. Our body needs high quality foods. Foods that contain lots of Vitamins, Minerals, and Antioxidants. Diets high in refined foods, especially sugars are harmful to the brain. In 1957, Dr William Coda Martin went as far as to classify refined sugar as a poison. His scientific backup for this was the fact that refined sugar depletes the body of nutrition. It requires vitamins and minerals to break it down but refined sugars have none. It provides only “Empty” or “Naked” calories. Minerals such as sodium, potassium, magnesium and calcium are needed to return the blood sugar levels to a more normal state. Sugar is a very low fuel source. So eating sugar has a huge effect on your mental health.

Processed foods have little to no value and provide no help to run the brain. Now if you think the government or FDA would protect you from foods that are poisonous. The FDA reported in a congressional report that “exposure to toxic elements in the food supply extremely seriously, ... will continue to reduce levels of arsenic in infant rice cereal.”  We had to take lead out of paint in case kids were eating paint chips but they can have it present in children's cereal. You have to be responsible for your own wellness no one else can do it. Just because it is marketed and labeled as a food does not mean it should be eaten.

Now, maybe you eat pretty good and get the 12 to 14 serving of fruits and vegetables a day I did when I was doing shakes twice a day. I was sure I was getting the nutrition I needed. But then I found information stating that the opposite was true. Because of the way we grow our food it has stripped the amounts of nutrition from the food we grow. According to the Department of Agriculture nutritional data from 1950 and1999 there have been “reliable declines” in the amount of protein, calcium, phosphorus, iron, riboflavin (vitamin B2) and vitamin C over the past half century. For example it would take eating 8 Oranges to get the same amount of Vitamin A as our grandparents would have got from one. Another example is spinach, even if it is kept at 39 degrees over 8 days it loses much of its nutritional value. It is still important to eat a diet high in fruits and veggies. 

Go to https://kengerber.kyani.com/us/ and there are free assessments and a PDF you can download for free called “7 Ways Your Modern Diet is Killing You and What You Can Do About It” I can not overstate how important nutrition is and how poor most people eat.

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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here for the last year. Our anniversary is coming up on April 22. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. First is to subscribe to it and  leave a rating/ review and leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, also interact with the community on the facebook page. Next, Be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly,  go to anchor.fm/ken-gerber/support and sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference.

So what the heck am I referring to huh? Since we are in spring I thought I would talk about nature. Well a caterpillar one day stops eating, then hangs upside down, then spins a silky cocoon or molts into a shiny chrysalis. We can see the before and after of the transformation. But what happens in the transformation? The first thing that happens is the caterpillar digest itself by releasing an enzyme to dissolve it’s tissue. This is the disgusting pile of goo part. If you opened the cocoon at this point the caterpillar would ooze out. It then starts to grow highly organized cells. Then from the goo all around it they are able to rapidly fuel the cell division to create the body of the butterfly. Then once the butterflies body is complete it starts to crack open the cocoon. Then when a small hole is created it starts to push through the hole which completes the transformation pushing the bodily fluids to the point of the body that they need to be for the butterfly to function. In some butterflies there continues to exist some of the body parts of the caterpillar.

It is how we handle the things that come into our lives that decide whether we are a caterpillar or butterfly. Because both are made up of the same experiences. It is not that those that we see as successful have less challenges. Life happens to all of us. Emotions happen to us all. Successful people still have feelings of anger, frustration, fright, sadness, or many others. But how would a butterfly handle these trials or challenges differently than a caterpillar?  Even when we are in the middle of the transformation things will continue to happen to us. It will rain, the sun will beat down, the wind will blow, maybe even the plant will catch fire. What we become is not based on what happens to us. Short of our life ending, It is not about what happens to us. I know people that have been abused that are more successful than me I know people that have been abused that are less successful than I. It is not about the level of abuse that stopped or made them successful. It is about the story they told about the abuse. Some told themselves the story that they could not be successful because of the situation and the emotions they felt due to those experiences. They never got out of being a caterpillar. It is a lot of work to rebuild yourself and become a butterfly. It is uncomfortable to dissolve your ego.

In our next podcast we will be talking more about nutrition…

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Kevin, one of our new Utah listeners and I had a discussion. One of the things we talked about is that many people give up on spirituality as they don’t want to be religious so they throw the baby out with the bath water. But spirituality and religion don't have to go hand in hand. Kevin talks about his spirituality and how it comes from being in nature. Kevin is not alone in this; many people who do not follow religion find their spirituality in nature. Some who are religious, strengthen their spirituality through nature. But for many people in this day and age it is tough and we spend very little time in nature. Spirituality is a big part of your human existence. So is yours filled?

The 6 wellness buckets are

Because of Kevin's question we are going to discuss bucket number 6. Spirituality! Now I am very spiritual and also quite religious. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I did want you to know that, but we are not going to be concentrating on religion. If you have questions about my religion you can ask me, I am happy to answer. Now back to spirituality. For this discussion we are going to define spirituality as a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, it typically involves a search for meaning in life. This makes it a universal human experience. You can describe it as a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness. How do you meet that need without religion you may ask?

First is to get out into nature which is great. This can be done by taking a hike through a forest or other natural area. But it might not come at the back of a tow rope on water skis, riding on a motorcycle, or ATV. Fast and loud are fun and entertaining but they most often do not engender quiet contemplation. What you want to look for is more than just the beauty, but the more of the connection. What does nature tell you about yourself? For me it tells me of my importance. Just thinking about the trillions of things that had to happen in one certain way to bring about this environment helps me to visualize my worth and connectedness. If I am connected to each rock tree and plant out there it changes how I react to this world. If we are one, this earth and I, it creates responsibilities  and meaning for me. There is even a book by Florence Williams called the “ The Nature Fix” They did a biological study to see the effects on your body and brain. They were able to observe that within 5 mins changes started to happen in the body. Is more connection, meaning, happiness, less stress and better health worth five mins a day? Maybe you live in a city and you say it would take me more than a hour to get out to nature. Well many places have parks within a few mins of most neighborhoods. Most apartments have grass areas with trees. Going out being barefoot on the grass or leaning against a tree can give you that five min change. If it is important to you, you can find it. You can make it happen. Nature has many positive effects if you are willing to be a part of it.

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Ken:

So to start with, give us a little background of who you are and what you do.

Mac:

I am a father. I am a husband of 16 years to a wonderful wife and I am a veteran of the United States Army, after about nine and a half years and with two tours under my belt. I am a voiceover actor that helps businesses have a digital voice in this digital world.

Ken:

What makes your life amazing?

Mac:

I would definitely say my faith and my family and I have to say my voice too. Because of the fact that without it I couldn't do anything that I'm doing.

Ken:

What is your accomplishment that you are most proud of?

Mac:

The accomplishment I'm most proud of right now is still being married to the same woman after 16 years. Still being alive every morning I wake up, and being a father. But also I think the other thing is just being able to know that I've been able to help businesses grow and to narrate stories for various companies around the world. An animated short film that I’m a part of is going to the festival right now, Currently it'll be airing on April 14th at 5 p.m. European Time. I've also been able to be a narrator for a cherry TV series called Planet Wild TV which will be airing hopefully in the spring or summer TBD.  Just being able to work with various small companies like The Memory Collective and and the Monumental Moments Videographer in the Indianapolis area. Just helping tell people stories.

Ken:

What do you think it takes to have an amazing life?

Mac:

Not worrying what other people think about your life. As long as you do it the way you enjoy it and it's not hurting yourself or anybody else then I say go for it. Not allowing people or even yourself to put in fears or negative thoughts in your mind.  Fears and negative thoughts, they can keep you from doing what you want and need to do. I did that for too long and now that I'm doing it I'm happy as can be and no one can take that from me.

Ken:

If you could only leave three things for this world what three things would you leave?

Mac:

A wonderful Legacy, a legacy that they and I are proud of. Knowing that I did the best I could with what I had. Then leaving the world a better place. If I can do all three of those things then I'll be happy, I don't need anything materialistic to leave behind, although you know I'd like to have a 1945 pickup truck, but a pickup truck but that's one of those things that you can have in your retirement phase and just enjoy while your here. I think the other three are more important than that.

Ken:

What are the places to find you?

Mac:

You can find me on Facebook and you can find me on Twitter. Then on Instagram and LinkedIn. Then my website.

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Ken:

To begin with Mike I wanted to ask what was going on and what were some of the things that you were struggling when you started the “I Have Value” program?

Mike:

Pretty darn bad PTSD That I learned to cope with. We attacked it with no chemistry involved, which you know for once something finally worked with it. But I was also having pretty severe marital problems as well. Most of those were because of PTSD, depression, bipolar (type 2), and I am a rapid cycler. Which Ken can attest to he’s seen me do it. How did the saying go if you know the “why” you may do for most any “how” and I had learned the “Why”

Ken:

When we started the program what was it that you were hoping to gain from it?

Mike:

Serenity, serenity in my marriage, Which was a huge huge undertaking, Denise, rest her soul. We were great together, we thought we were great together. We were going through some really hard times and I figured out what it was. I figured out what the issue was and we could not have solved it then.

Ken:

How did those feelings of guilt play out in your life?

Mike:

What's the phrase If You Don't Heal What Hurt You, You'll Bleed On People Who Didn't Cut You - Marcie Lyons probably one of the best answers to that question without going into a huge explanation.

Skills are where it starts, realizing when you go through this and come out on the  other side, when you go through life's battles Like my cousin Jim says in his book “Touching The Dragon”, you are going to come out with scars. Those scars manifest in the form of emotional intelligence, the ability to step out of ourselves and be empathetic. I know each and everyone of you are going out there and working your butt off. I mean brain jobs are harder than any physical work. Here's another thing  it is not if but when  the Sedona Method If not now then When?

Ken:

What would you say to those that are sitting on the fence trying to decide whether or not they are a good fit for this program?

Mike:

Okay first off, If you sit with Crow on the fence you're going to fall with the crow off the fence. Get off the fence. You know we like the earth, people bear fruit. You are not here by mistake, none of you. If I can come to this conclusion myself then there's not a person around that it is unable. Have a little bit of faith, Definitely have some faith in yourselves I mean you're going to go through it, don't give up.

In our next podcast we will be talking about How to Fix ADHD Without Medication.

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