Your Life on Purpose

Your Life on Purpose

By Mark W. Guay -- Entreprenuer, Educator, WriterBusinessEducationCareers
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Your Life on Purpose episodes

  • 24: A New Vision
    I’d like to expand a bit on the first stage of The Hero’s Journey when you realize that you no longer want to live in the Ordinary World and hear a call for adventure.
     
    This is when you live your life on purpose and choose to walk your own path instead of following someone else’s footsteps. 
     
    It could be when you decide to leave the job that weights you down or stifles your creativity. 
     
    It could be when you decide to let go and stop resisting change so that you can embrace it.
     
    Or it could be something completely different. When you feel the Call to Adventure, it’s a sound only you can hear.
     
    And it’s up to you to listen.
     
    Yesterday, Seth Godin referenced Pema Chodron and this morning I decided to reread one of my favorite books by Pema called Living Beautifully. 
     
    Pema Chodron gives a beautiful analogy for what it’s like when you experience something you’ve never even known existed. 
     
    Pema needed cataract surgery — perhaps a surgery your parents like mine have gone through. After her eye surgery, she began to see colors and the mountain view like she never saw it before. Meer words could not accurately describe the expansiveness of beauty that she now saw. 
     
    Until then, she said, “she didn’t realize how limited her vision had been.” 
     
    This metaphor pretty accurately describers what buddhists have described as being awake or enlightened. 
     
    All buddhist stuff aside, I think this also accurately describes the feeling once you start living your life on purpose and with intention — moving toward the direction you aspire to go. 
     
    Many of the people I’ve interviewed who have quit their mundane job to work for themselves have had a similar new vision. Many say that they didn’t realize how unhappy they really were with their work beforehand. 
     
    Ayelet Baron is my favorite example of this. Ayelet is the former Chief of Strategy for Cisco Canada. Not the silver haired rapping Sysco or the food-producing company called Sysco. I’m talking about the technology company that’s based in Silicon Valley and pulls in 50 billion in revenue each year. Talk about a huge company.
     
    Ayelet chose to fire herself from her corporate job because she saw how mentally, physically, and emotionally draining it became. 
     
    While her daily routine of flying all over the world may have looked adventurous, she grew tired of living out of a suitcase and in hotel rooms.
     
    After choosing to work for herself, she had a realization. 
     
    Here’s a bit of what Ayelet had to say:
     
    Enter Ayelet
     
    Now, I’m not saying go quit your job and everything will be all perfect in your life. No, there are plenty of amazing companies out there that need your help. You don’t need to  be an entrepreneur to live your life on purpose. The world needs teachers, airplane pilots, and any other number of salaried-based jobs.
     
    Having A New Vision lies in living authentically to your truest self. Dig Deep. Be Real. That is real courage. 
     
    And, even though I’m not a full-time entrepreneur yet, I can tell you that it’s a lot easier to work a job that has set hours and a weekly pay check. 
     
    For instance, when I sat down to plan this podcast episode, I was reading Pema Chodron’s book Living Beautifully and thought how peaceful it would be to just live like a monk for a while. Meditate, look at the leaves, write and repeat. 
     
    But, then if I were to do that, I wouldn’t get this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to connect with you. Which, by the way, over 20,000 people a month are tuning in and the number is growing. 
     
    So, what about you? There are plenty of moments where we are able to see anew with a whole new set of eyes. When have you experienced a new vision and saw something so beautiful you didn’t even know existed beforehand? 
     

     

    And yes, that includes when you meet your signification other. I know when I met my wife Kaitlyn, I felt such a surge of energy inside my heart and I felt such beauty that I’ve never felt before meeting her. 
    11 min
  • 23: The Hero Inside All of Us
    Last week, I closed the week talking about what it means to be a hero and it seems that that topic struck a chord with a lot of people.
     
    So, I’d like to expand on that a bit today and dive deeper into the hero inside all of us.
     
    I’ve also just come home from a six-hour drive home and listened the entire time to archived radio interviews with Joseph Campbell. So, the topic of “the Hero’s Journey” is alive and well in me right now. 
     
    Since I started off my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve been fortunate to get to meet a lot of incredible people and not a day goes by where I’m not amazed at what someone is creating or their desire to be the change they want to see in the world.

    There’s this incredible spark in someone’s eye when they’ve found their sweet spot and are die-hard passionate about their work.

     
    I’ve seen this same look in a lot of my students too when they work on a project that means far more than a silly grade.
     
    It’s a beautiful thing.  I mentioned before that it’s like the soul has been activated.
     
    But not everyone has found this yet. And that’s okay.
     
    You see, here’s the thing: there’s a hero inside all of us. It’s up to us to recognize it, shake hands/say hello and then choose to accept the mission.

    You Define What “Hero” Means

    If you haven’t found your thing yet or don’t feel like a hero, it may be because you’re living up to someone else’s expectations or someone else’s definition of success.

    Keep in mind that a hero does not have to be Superman.

    Like Carol S. Pearson says in The Hero Within: “the heroic journey does not require you to become something greater than you are. It merely requires absolute fidelity to your own authentic path.”

    For instance, it’s easy to compare ourselves to and idolize a few celebrities who have made it big so-to-speak.

    That’s extremely toxic and doesn’t do ourselves again good. You can’t compare your week 1 to someone else’s week 100.

    And on top of that, sometimes to get to that celebrity status comes at the cost of being a poor parent, friend, or spouse.

    For example, there’s a beautifully done video that shows a day-in-the-life of one celebrity entrepreneur. The day starts at 6am and ends around midnight. From what we can tell in the video, roughly 30 minutes are spent with the family which includes two children under the age of five.

    I bring up this example because this is a personal struggle of mine and how I define a hero.

     
    Perhaps you can relate to this struggle?
     
    I want to have as much impact as possible with my work, but am not willing to sacrifice being a good husband nor a good father to any future children.
     
    When Seth Godin and I sat down to chat, we talked a lot about how we’re truly living in a beautiful time where a person could be anyone they want to be.
     
    It’s just that the hero inside all of us can easily be squashed by the rules that society has placed on us since children. Now, more than ever before
    I, if you have a dream you want to live or a message you want to share, you can do it.
     
    Here’s a bit of what Godin had to say:

    So, what’s my definition of a hero? Someone who follows their heart and aims to do incredible good in the world and constantly works to level up their mind, body, and soul to limitless possibilities without sacrificing being a good spouse and family man.

     
    And I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.
     

     

    So, as I don my superhero cape today, I’d like to ask for your definition of a superhero. What’s your definition?  
    9 min
  • 22: Weekly Wrap Up

    It’s a beautiful day ladies and gents. And it’s been an incredible week here at Your Life on Purpose. When I first launched this podcast, it wasn’t only meant to be the audio book to the free guide I wrote called Your Life on Purpose.

    You all convinced me to keep this podcast going and I’m seriously grateful for that. Over 1000 people are tuning in each day and the listenership keeps growing.

    Quick note: It’s really important to me that I share stories and tips that help empower your life and help you connect your dots. We all have a unique thread that ties our story together and this is our unique value to deliver to the world. With that said, if there’s something I say that you want me to talk more about or you have something you think I should focus on, let me know.

    @markwguay

    If you don’t have your copy of Your Life on Purpose yet, get it over at yourlop.com

    So, it’s Friday and that means we’ll quickly go over the concepts shared this week.

    Before I do that, I have a Public Service Announcement: You see, I’m fortunate to get to meet a lot of incredible people and not a day goes by where I’m not amazed at what someone is creating or their desire to be the change they want to see in the world.

    There’s this incredible spark in someone’s eye when they’ve found their sweet spot and are die-hard passionate about their work.

    It’s a beautiful thing. It’s like the soul has been activated.

    But not everyone has found this yet. And that’s okay.

    You see, here’s the thing: there’s a hero inside all of us. It’s up to us to recognize it, shake hands/say hello and then choose to accept the mission.

    Five Tips for Friday to Help Tap into Your Inner Hero

    1. Get out of Your Own Way

    As Jay Stolar showed us, so many times we just have to get out of our own way. It’s so easy to talk our selves out of a great idea we have. Or, even worse, we allow ourselves to give in to beliefs that we’re not good enough.

    That the people we admire are someone superhuman.

    When the truth is, the world was made up by people that were no smarter than us and we can change it.

    So, take a look at your actions and reactions and ask yourself, are you getting in your own way?

    Stop getting in your own way and let your inner hero out. 

    1. Self Limiting Beliefs

    Everything in the research books says that I should not be successful. I’m adopted.

    Was raised in a poor family with parents who didn’t go college. 

    And had an alcoholic as a father. 

    From a very early age, I believed that if you put your mind to something, there’s nothing that can stop you from achieving your goals.

    I know we’ve all heard that as a kid, but I really believed it. I needed to believe it to survive and thrive.

    But I still find myself with self-limiting beliefs. Like I need another college degree or that phD, or I need someone who I admire to recognize that my work is good.

    These beliefs are totally normal. And all the people you admire have them too. In fact, they more than likely have more self-limiting beliefs because the ladder they can fall from is a lot higher so-to-speak.

    3. Living Authentically

    When I went to the book store the other day, I noticed that they no longer have a “self-help” section. It’s now called “Personal Development” or “Life Enrichment” or something like that.

    That’s because the term “self-help” has become taboo in our culture.

    I know whenever I went to the book store as a kid and went over to the self-help section, my friends would make fun of me because that’s where people who are messed up would go to get fixed.

    Ughhh -- what a backwards way of thinking of it. That’s where people go who want to better themselves.

    Seriously, if you want to achieve greatness you need to be open to help, you need to be vulnerable and identify your weaknesses.

    Every top-performer that I’ve interviewed asks for help and looks as help as an opportunity to get better.

    This is how you become limitless.

    4. You Don’t Need Permission

    Stop asking for permission. You don’t need it.

    We’re raised in a way that we grow up always having to ask for permission. It’s gotten to the point where 16-18 year old students still need to ask to go to the bathroom during school

    And if you know behavior psychology, you know that this type of consistent behavior changes the connections in the brain. What this does to us as humans is that it wires us to ask for permission

    If we have to ask for permission to do the most basic of human processes like going to the bathroom, how can we expect people to become their own bosses as entrepreneurs or creatively solve problems that no one has ever solved before.

    It’s impossible do something really innovative and extraordinary if you’re waiting for someone to give you permission.

    Instead, give yourself permission to just focus on being YOU. This is your life on purpose.

    5. Define What it Means to Be a Hero

    Define what it means to be a hero on your own terms. Instead of comparing your self to others who you think are heroic. 

    Consider, instead, to define what it means to be a hero. 

    For instance, I’m finding a lot of those I meet tend to compare themselves to and idolize a few celebrities who have made it big so-to-speak.

     

    That’s extremely toxic and doesn’t do ourselves again good. You can’t compare your week 1 to someone else’s week 100.

    10 min
  • 21: You Don't Need Permission
    If you’re new to this daily podcast, head on over to YOURlop.com to get your copy of Your Life on Purpose, 10 actionable tips to live a life with impact which goes with this podcast and if you’d like, you’ll also be able to join our weekly newsletter.
     
    Okay, here’s the thing. You don’t need permission. I see so many people, young entrepreneurs, students — just real incredible people that want to do amazing things in this world and they are waiting for permission.
     
    You don’t need any permission to live the life you want to live and do the work you want to do. 
     
    Most people feel they need permission because that’s how most of us are raised. In the school system, it’s designed around a permission economy. 
     
    Students usually to age 18 often have to ask to go to the bathroom before graduating high school. 
     
    Just consider the behavior psychology of that for a moment. 
     
    If a person spent the first 18 years of their life asking permission to go to bathroom, it makes sense why many people wait for permission to live their lives more authentically. 
     
    But it’s difficult to go from asking permission to go to the bathroom to thinking fully for yourself. But this is where real game changing work happens. When you listen to your heart, shuck permission, and do what it is you want to do with your life. 
     
    TED Speaker and activist Rose George knew this firsthand when she wrote The Big Necessity: The Unemotional World of Human Waste and Why it Matters. 
     
    She began to calculate all the trips we are taking to the bathroom and asked herself, “Where does all this stuff (I’ll say stuff in case there are any children listening in the car), Where does all this stuff go?” You know…the stuff….
     
    She traveled the world and looked at the waste systems that we have built around all around the world. 
     
    Just a humbling side note: If you’re listening to this podcast, you more than likely have a toilet that you go to the bathroom on. Understand that this is something to be grateful for. Yes, Seriously. 
     
    Out of the seven billion people on this planet, only 4.5 billion people have toilets. 
     
    One billion people practice open defecation which means that they go to the bathroom in a field, usually next to the fields where children play. And no, they don’t have toilet paper. Toilet paper is a luxury. 
     
    These are some of the facts I learned from Rose George. Here’s a bit more of what she had to say when we sat down for a chat not too long after her TED talk went viral:
     
    Enter Ep. 34 w/ Rose George 
     
    So, Rose George didn’t need permission to be a game changing journalist. And she certainly didn’t ask to go to the bathroom. 
     
    What about you? As you go throughout your day today, try to see if there’s a moment where you either ask for permission or wait for permission. 
     

     

    Just remember, this is your life on purpose. You don’t need permission. 
    7 min
  • 20: Past Lives, Purpose and Living Authentically
    This past weekend Saturday, something interesting happened. I had a clear calendar. I didn’t have any business meetings or calls scheduled. No meet-ups planned or mastermind sessions.

    So, I did my morning routine of coffee, meditation, yoga, then hopped in the car and started driving.

    I ended up again at Omega Institute -- the mindfulness center in Upstate New York. And I’d like to share with what a bit of what I learned there.

    (FYI -- my goal is to bring you thoughts and reflections on connecting the dots and living purposefully. So fully expect my work to be one part Richard Branson and one part Dalai Lama -- not that I’m nearly as cool as either Branson or the Dalai Lama, but you get the point.)

    I knew that Dr. Brian Weiss had a weekend retreat scheduled there, but I didn’t plan on going there before yesterday.
     
    Dr. Weiss is the leader authority on reincarnation and past-life regressions. After graduating from Yale and starting up his psychotherapy practice, Dr. Weiss began his practice. Everything changed when a patient of his name Catherine began to experience what seemed like past-lives. 
     
    This led to Dr. Weiss further exploring hyposis-therapy, being a featured guest on Oprah, and starting a world-wide therapeutic movement with past-life regressions. 
     
    Past-life regressions, says Dr. Weiss, can help a multitude of ways. They can help someone release subconscious trauma in one’s life along. But they can also help tune one into their spiritual path in life. This is why I’m talking about him today on Your Life on Purpose, 
     
    And it may surprise you that concept of reincarnation is not only something that’s more common in the traditional Eastern religions. Here’s of bit of what Dr. Weiss had to say about the concept of reincarnation:
     
    Enter Dr. Brian Weiss 
     
    As weird as it may sound to you, when I drove to Omega last week, It was almost as if my spirit was taking me for a ride and I decided to follow.

    Has something like this ever happened to you?

    By the time I really knew what was going on I had found a seat next to an older woman with short white hair (who I found out later is a shaman) and closed my eyes as Dr. Brian Weiss shared a bit of lecture then took us through a past-life regression.

    He spoke about a lot of things and it got very spiritually deep.
     
    Here’s what he had to say purpose.

    He says that every person here is here for a reason and that our spirit selves chose or were chosen to enter this life for a reason. It’s up to us to tune in and listen to what our body, our mind, and what the universe is telling us.

    Interesting, right? What do you think? (Honestly, I’d love to hear your thoughts so hit reply and let’s keep this conversation going :)

    Just one thing. Instead of stressing out over whether or not you are living your one and only one true purpose in life, focus more on living intentionally. When I say “this is your life on purpose,” I’m not really saying “live your purpose,” but rather “live intentionally”. Live beautifully, as Pema Chodron often says, and have your actions reflect the direction you want to go in life.

    ---

    How did I come across Dr. Weiss’ work? That’s an interesting story. I was first introduced to Dr. Weiss’ work when I was 16 years old. I had just learned how to pop a pimple and tie a tie when I did my first past-life regression.

    You see, I went to a very small, very Catholic private school in New York.

    At our junior prom, the school had brought in post-prom activities to try and keep the kids from going out and getting in trouble. They brought in these inflatable sumo wrestling suits, some other games, and then this woman who they called an “Angel Reader”.

    That piqued my interest, so I got in line. A short brown-haired woman with round shoulders, the angel reader spent about five minutes talking to each student about the angels they have in their life. When it came my turn to meet her, I sat down and said hello. Forty-five minutes later, she had asked if she could send me a CD.

    She ended up sending me one of Dr. Brian Weiss’ past-life regression CDs. So, at age sixteen, I did my first past-life regression.

    And this is strange because if the school found out that this woman was talking about past-lives and such, the priests and nuns at my school would have thrown her out. And to further this, this woman had bought me a CD and paid to mail it out to me.
     
    I didn’t realize it at the time, but reflecting back on it I now realize how strange that any of this even happened.

    Throughout college I would do past-life regressions here and there and I found them very interesting. This, I kept pretty hushed, along with my meditation practice because I knew no one else who had even heard of Dr. Brian Weiss and this is before even meditation was openly talked about in Western culture. Now, business CEOs rave about the benefits of meditation. Back when I was kid, that didn’t happen.

    Reflecting back, I realize that this was a dot in my life. A big dot. It helped steer me down the path of tuning in to myself and exploring my passion for living purposefully and helping others to do so.

    Did I share any of this with Dr. Weiss? No, I didn’t have time. When we had a break between sessions, a long line of people waited patiently to see him. I did go up to meet him, snap a photo of us, say thank you and ask him one question.

    “What tips could you share on how to live more authentically?” I said.

    He gave this long beautiful answer that talked about how people tend to put masks on themselves because we are afraid of how others will judge us and if people will still love us.

    And here’s where I learned a valuable lesson: when you go to record someone, make sure your device is actually recording.

    After meeting Dr. Weiss, I returned to my chair to check the recording. It didn’t record. My $300 dollar professional recorder didn’t record Dr. Weiss’ beautiful answer.

    Perhaps it wasn’t for me to share. Perhaps it was for me to hear. To realize that I should stop wearing a mask. That I should be more authentic.

    Which is why I’m sharing this story with you. I’ve never spoken publicly about past-life regressions nor have I told anyone other than my lovely wife the story I just shared with you about junior prom.
     
     
    So, what about you? Something tells me that if you’re still listening to this, perhaps you too can relate to this story. Is there a mask that you wear?
     

     

    I know that it’s difficult to truly be our authentic self in the professional setting. Perhaps that’s another reason why so many people strive to be entrepreneurs now and build a lifestyle business. But, when we don a business suit and enter the office, does that mean that we have to strip away those unique bits that make us extraordinary?
    13 min
  • 19: Self-Limiting Beliefs
    Last episode, I've talked about  ways we can identify and crush our barriers and I mentioned self-limiting beliefs. And Sometimes, we just need to get out of our own way as Jay Stolar taught us. Today, I’d like to dive deep into self-limiting beliefs. Why?
     
    Because I’m having them right now and something tells me you might too. 
     
    Sometimes whenever I have self-limiting beliefs, I like to think back to my childhood.
     
    I mean, heck, everything in the books says I should be a failure.
     
    I’m adopted.
    Was raised in a poor family with parents who didn’t go college. 
    And had an alcoholic as a father. 
     
    When I look at Maslow’s hierarchy of self-actualization, it makes little sense why I’ve been able to get to where I am today.
     
    Apparently, the research says adopted kids typically end up in jail or really struggle to make something of themselves. They also tend to have bizarre personalities due to attachment or abandonment issues. For instance, that’s why adopted kids like Steve Jobs of Apple Computers and Larry Ellison of Oracle have been known to be a bit strange.
     
    And, yes, I totally understand that I just suggested that I might too be very strange. And if that’s true, I’m okay with that. 
     
    I also grew up with an alcoholic father in a poor family who always struggled to pay the bills.
     
    I never really thought much about my background and didn’t think my childhood was any different from everyone else’s. 
     
    Then, I started to study developmental psychology in college and started teaching. And, as a teacher, I really got to see personally that the research tends to be true.
     
    Children who come from balanced and loving families tend to be better students. There’s less behavior issues and students’ grades tend me to better.
     
    These students tend to be top performers. 
     
    And I mean, it makes sense. If as a child you need to worry about how you’re going to get dinner tonight, or if your parents are always away at work or you need to work to help pay the bills.
     
    Or as a teenager you need to pay for your own apartment (as I’ve had many students who’ve had to) it only makes sense that you’d have a bit of a problem with authority along with being unable to concentrate on studies.
     
    The choice between what to focus on is pretty clear when you have to choose between doing your algebra homework or making enough money to buy pizza for the family. 
     
    This is where Maslow’s Hierarchy comes in. Abraham Maslow believed in something that we now call Maslow’s Hierarchy.
     
    You may have read it or heard about it in John Green’s book, The Fault in Our Stars.
     
    It’s basically a pyramid where to get to the top you need to develop the things on the bottom. 
     
    If you don’t have the things in the bottom, it’s difficult or nearly impossible to get to the top. 
     
    For example, if you don’t have food, shelter, and water, it’s very difficult to focus on or even care about things like morality or philosophy. 
     
    Maslow argued that for a person to reach his/her potential, the base line needs need to be met before one can move on to their greatest potential. 
     
    Let’s go through them really quickly and just ask yourself if your needs are met in these areas.
     
    Answering and reflecting on these questions will help you reach the greatest version of yourself, or what Maslow called self-actualization. 
     
    1. Are your physiological needs met? Can you breath, eat, sleep and have access to food on a regular basis? 
     
    If yes, then move up. 
     
    2. On to Safety. Do you have to worry about money or do you not have a safe place to live?  
     
    If yes, then move up.
     
    3. Are you loved? Do you feel like you belong?
     
    If yes, then move up.
     
    4. Do you feel confident in yourself? Are you confident in yourself? 
     
    If yes, then move up. 
     
    If you said yes to all of these things, then you are in the realm of self-actualization. This doesn’t mean that you’ve made your millions of dollars yet or have had the impact you want to have in your work yet. It just means that you are able to work on being the best version of yourself. 
     
    Here you question and identify your values, morals, have developed empathy for others even if you disagree with them. 
     
    What happens often though is that before becoming our greatest selves, we get stopped at the second last stage. Our confidence is shaken by self-limiting beliefs. 
     
    What are self- limiting beliefs? 
     
    - Thinking you don’t have the right degree to do X. Perhaps you’re thinking of getting another degree right now to build your confidence? 
    - Feeling you don’t have enough experience
    - Feeling like an imposter? (I’ll talk more about imposter syndrome on another episode)
    - That you’re just not good enough
    - That because you were born into a poor family, you can’t compete with someone who grew up in wealth and had private schooling
    - I’m too fat (talk about being 4% body fat and feeling like crap)
    - The list goes on
     
    Sometimes, to overcome these self-limiting beliefs, all it takes is calling them out and recognizing them. Then, just say, no thank you. And move onward.
     
    Just know that pretty much everyone has self-limiting beliefs.
     
    Right now, for instance, I’m feeling a bit of imposter syndrome. 
     
    I mean, here I am… the guy behind Your Life on Purpose and sharing what I’ve learned with others about connecting the dots between school, your passion, and what the words needs.
     
    And I definitely don’t have it all together. I’m no one where near perfect. I have tremendous flaws.
     
    I have a master’s degree, but no doctorate degree.
     
    I have made some money as an entrepreneur, but I’ve never made enough to live full-time as an entrepreneur (yet, at least). 
     
    I write for The Huffington Post and have self-published a couple books, but I’ve never had a NYT best-seller. 
     
    And my own personal list of self-limiting beliefs go on and on.  
     
    When self-limiting beliefs start to run their way with you, you may be in what Jeff Goins calls the In-Between. That space where you are creating something remarkable in a transition in your life. It’s probably stressful, but you’re living more fully.
     
    Enter Jeff
     
    So, what about you? When you go throughout your day today, notice if you ever talk yourself out of something. Maybe you want to speak up at a meeting and don’t because you don’t want to sound stupid. Maybe you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see. Maybe you sit down to create something and don’t feel it’s good enough. 
     

     

    Just know that this is normal and focus more on creating and less on stopping. 
    13 min
  • 18: Get Out of Your Own Way
    Today I’d like to focus on mindset and how so often times we need to get out of our own way.
     
    We’re living in a world today that gives you the potential to do real meaningful changemaking work if you allow yourself to do so.
     
    I see a world where we have the tools to create transformative and meaningful work that can build a better tomorrow, regardless of how much wealth you grew up with or what school you graduated from. 
    And I’m not just some guy who is saying that.
     
    I’ve seen it. I’m a part of it. You’re a part of it.
     
    I’m constantly blown away by the future of work and what people are doing these days to both do what they love and make a difference in the world.
     
    When I first starting interviewing the successful entrepreneurs and game changers of today, I wanted my interview process to be organic, so I kindly asked that each person I interview introduce me to someone who they think I should interview.
     
    That led me to interviewing people from all different walks of life.
     
    Digital Nomads like Natalie Sisson, The Suitcase Entrepreneur.
     
    Mindfulness Gurus like Raghunath
     
    Wall Streeters
     
    Former Corporate CEOS
     
    And here are two things I have learned from all of this.
     
    1. You can be anyone you want to be.
    2. You need to get out of your own way.
     
    When we shift from being an observer to becoming an active participant in our lives, something interesting happens. What's often found is that the greatest obstacle to accomplishing our goals comes from inside.
     
    Most of the time, we just need to get out of our own way.
     
    I've seen it in the students I've taught who want to carve their own path instead of the ones that their parents or society say they should follow.
     
    I've seen it in myself when it came to taking my first entrepreneurial leap. Heck -- I feel it in myself as I share this with you write now.
     
    I've seen it in the extremely successful entrepreneurs I interview who, before launching their business, came face-to-face with their fear of failure.
     
    Often times all it takes to get out of our own way is just a subtle shift in thinking and focusing on the positive. Easier said than done, I know, but don't take my word for it. Listen to Jay Stolar. Jay struggled with intense bouts of depression throughout his life. He never felt exactly like he was enough. In his new music video called #MyOwnWay Jay says, "If you get out of your own way, you can accomplish anything."
     
    In his music video #MyOwnWay (which benefits the Love is Louder movement), Stolar spreads the message that happiness comes from how you look at your situation and your willingness to love yourself.
     
    Enter Jay Stolar
     
    With a marker in hand, Stolar writes the word "Buried" on the reflective surface of his mirror. Others line up to share their deep seed of negativity and write their word, as well:
     
    "Disfigured"
    "Homeless"
    "Dependent"
    "Not enough"
    "Depressed"
    "Destructive"
    "Broken"
     
    Perhaps you too have a word that embraces your greatest fear. Being rejected. Failing. Go ahead, write it down right now or if you are driving, say it out loud. I’ll wait.
     
    What's my word? "Stuck." If I look at my life right now in one way, I can feel incredibly stuck. After my wife's severe case of Lyme Disease poured concrete over our feet just four days after we said "I do", it's become a daily struggle to not feel stuck. She went from running a half-marathon to sitting in a wheelchair in a matter of weeks. And for a vagabond like me, "Stuck" is a tough emotion to feel. But if I invert this word and focus on the positive like Stolar demonstrates, my word can become "Focused." And someone with wanderlust, if I am not forced to be focused, It's incredibly tough to sit still and focus on the present.
     
    If you were to invert your word and focus on the positive, what would it be? Free? Beautiful? Human? Supported? Everything? Alive? Healthy? Never give up?
     

     

    As a teacher, an entrepreneur, and just a guy who wants to be the best version of himself, I've seen my fair share of destructive criticism. There's a whole lot out there that tries to hold you back. Don't let yourself join that crowd.
    9 min
  • 17: Weekly Wrap Up

    I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought about something. What if I do a weekly wrap up of all the things talked about this week? 

    What if I share what I learned this week? Because I’m here with you. I'm just a regular guy trying to make a positive difference in the world.

    A lot of the information that that I’ve been sharing on this podcast is deep. They’re simple thoughts, tips, and tricks I’ve learned from interviewing a lot of the world’s greatest change agents, but they are deep.

    It takes time for lessons like this to sink i n and become part of the daily mindset and become habitual. 

    Besides that’s where real and meaningful learning comes from. There needs to be some level of wrap up to revisit all the things talked about so far. 

    Also, really learning something comes from doing. Learning is throughdoing. So, please don’t just listen to this podcast. Actually go ahead and try some of the things out that I talk about here. 

    What did I learn this week?

    Overcoming Resistance:  As Mario Armstrong put it to me, "Resistance is a necessary energy to achieving your purpose. The frict ion that creates resistance comes in many forms, fear of failure, self-doubt, lack of getting that YES. The best way in my experience to deal with resistance is to take a step back and ensure you are aligned with your true purpose." 

    - Self doubt

    - overthinking

    - not knowing where to start

    - questioning your purpose

    - fear

    - feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities 

    - time 

    Learn to recognize the resistance and push through. I’ll see you on the other side. 

    Focus: We live in the most distracted time of our history. It’s a beautiful time to be alive and I really feel like we’re living in a new renaissance, but this connected age has me distracted all the time. Instead of studying more, doing more research, stick to creating something, but do one thing at a time.

    If you do two things at once, it will most likely take twice as long with half of the quality. 

    Redefining You: Sometimes things happen in your life that force you to stop dead in your journey on purpose. Losing a job. Losing a loved one. Or some major shift in your life.  Instead of looking at these as roadblocks. Look at them like dots and connect them to redefine your identity. This only deepens your purpose. We are part of something much greater than ourselves and when things of this magnitude happen in your life, that’s when I put my ear to the ground and tune in, listen, and recognize that this is a dot -- an important stepping stone to a deeper purpose. 

    Crushing Barriers: there's nothing different between you and those you aspire to be more like.

    Fear, self-doubt…they’re totally normal and I can’t name one person I’ve interviewed who didn’t have fear and self-doubt. In fact, most of the people I meet and interview (multi-millionaires, successful entrepreneurs, the greatest movers and shakers of our time) continue to struggle with fear and self-doubt.

    We all have barriers and sometimes the hardest part about breaking a barrier is actually recognizing it and seeing it. 

    Then, the next step is grabbing the sledgehammer. 

    The hardest part is recognizing the barriers we have because they are often invisible to us. Sometimes breaking out of the everyday routine or doing something different and putting ourselves in a different social setting, for instance, can help us to think different and recognize our own limits. 

    --

    Okay, so that’s the wrap up for this week on Your Life on Purpose. If you like it and appreciate the wrap up, let me know.

    I could do this every week if that helps and I will upload it earlier for those who are ahead in time. I know we have thousands of listeners coming from Australia and you guys are 12 hours ahead of me, so I could put these up earlier if that helps. 

    Send me an email at [email protected] or on Twitter at markwguay. 

    And P.S. If you’re listening in Australia, feel free to invite me over for some coffee. I’d be happy to fly on over and see a bit of your beautiful country. And perhaps catch a nice surf session. 

    All right everyone -- thanks so much for tuning in and you my friends have a beautiful day. 

     

    8 min
  • 16: Crush Your Barriers Creatively
    Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
     
    It’s a quote I think of often as I go through my life, taking a look at what I repeatedly do and wondering how can I take what I do on a regular basis and level it up, make it better, so that I can level up my life, my impact, and break through barriers.
     
    So, today’s focus is on growing a limitless mindset by identifying your barriers.
     
    Before getting into anything yet, just think about that for a minute. How do YOU identify your barriers?
     
    I truly believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. It’s just up to you to believe in yourself. 
     
    Like Steve Jobs said, the world was made of by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it.
     
    In short, there's nothing different between you and those you aspire to be more like.
     
    Fear, self-doubt…they’re totally normal and I can’t name one person I’ve interviewed who didn’t have fear and self-doubt. In fact, most of the people I meet and interview (multi-millionaires, successful entrepreneurs, the greatest movers and shakers of our time) continue to struggle with fear and self-doubt.
     
    We all have barriers and sometimes the hardest part about breaking a barrier is actually recognizing it and seeing it. 
     
    Then, the next step is grabbing the sledgehammer. 
     
    I’ll talk another episode about self-limited beliefs and how to pop that balloon on another episode. Today, I’d like to talk about how we can recognize our barriers.
     
    Break Your Personal Habits 
     
    Sometimes we need to break our habits — yes, even the good ones, to recognize a barrier.  Setting up a creative routine like Todd Henry mentioned on episode 10 is crucial to achieving greatness. 
     
    Why? Because a routine and sticking to a schedule means you’ll actually get something done.
     
    I mean, seriously, if you wait for an idea to strike, you’ll be standing in a field by yourself for a long time. And forgot about actually making a living off your work. 
     
    Sometimes, however, to break a barrier you need to break routine. You need to step outside of your cave and go, “oh, interesting” and go on a stroll to the unknown.
     
    Sometimes going out of routine can spark creativity and, even better, help you connect the dots in your life.
     
    I recently sat down with the founder of Neurons Away, Sally Safadi, and talked about how we can be more creative and recognize barriers. 
     
    Sally showed me how little 5-minute writing or drawing prompts can help someone think different. So, I don’t mean you need to do anything huge to identify barriers. I’m just talking bout 5 minutes here. And the great thing about Sally is that her work is backed by Neuroscience. 
     
    She studied neuroscience in school and then decided to create a book that asks people really strange questions with the goal to spark an emotion and curve the brain to think different.
     
    So, the thing here is not to wander for a long time (though vagabonding can definitely feed the soul). What I’m learning is that having good productive habits and being a bit more scheduled than I’d like to be can help me be consistent and more productive.
     
    But it’s crucial to meander a bit off my scheduled path because that’s where creative insight could strike.
     
    Break Your Social Circle Habits: Talk to people outside of your community. 
     
    I’m a pretty open-minded guy or at least I try to be, but one thing I learned about myself is that I often tend to stick with other people who empower me. Often times, these people tend to have similar belief systems that I do.
     
    So, I make sure to have conversations with people who may think very different from me.
     
    In business terms, that means having conversations with people outside your field of understanding. If you’re a coder, for example, go talk with a sales representative. If you’re an actor, go talk to an accountant. 
     
    Or, in your personal life, engage in meaningful conversation on topics that my mother said I should never talk about at the dinner table.
     
    Religion 
    Sex
    Politics 
    Philosophical Stuff
     
    Throw a potluck at your house and ask your friends to invite someone you don’t know.
     
    Start a meetup using Meetup.com and hold a socratic cafe discussion. I love socratic discussions. 
     
    I remember having an amazing talk about living authentically at Columbia University. Included in the discussion were a motley crew of personalities: me, a homeless man, a professor, a dancer, and others. 
     
    We definitely did not agree whatsoever, but we listened and had an open dialogue.
     
    Conversations like this get me to think different. And maybe that will for you too. 
     
    So, what about you? How do you get yourself to think different? How do you identify and then break a barrier?
     

     

    Let me know on Twitter @markwguay or send me an email at [email protected]. 
    10 min
  • 15: Redefining You

    Head over to YourLOP.com, where you’ll also be able to get the free life plan template that goes with this podcast.

    Today, I’d like to talk about redefining you.

    I’ve never met someone who didn’t work hard at building their identity. That structure that makes you YOU. The webbing of your purpose.

    In fact, I’ve spent my whole life building it. I’ve invested a lot of college tuition and coaching lessons along with devouring self-help books like candy. When the bookstore Borders lined every Main Street and before Starbucks sat at every corner, I’d sit in the coffee shop with a pile of books and a foamy latte.

    I decided early on that I only have so much time here on this planet and I want to make an extraordinary positive impact.

    Even as a kid, I loved the big hairy questions like why am I here, what is my purpose. I guess I was a bit of a weird child in that sense.

    I’ve learned, however, that holding on so tightly to an identity can make it difficult to live in the present, especially when an event so debilitating causes the identity to fall apart.

    That event came in the form of a microscopic tick bite with poison so clever that it harvested a concoction that would send my wife to a wheelchair not long after she crossed the finish line of her first half-marathon.

    When my wife and I got married, we dreamed of spending our summers traveling the world. We started to make plans to move to San Diego where we’d make PBB come true. 

    Poodle

    Baby

    Beach

    Just four weeks after we said, “I do”, the paralyzing symptoms of Lyme Disease poured concrete over our feet. We were stuck in place.

    No summer travel. No San Diego. No Poodle. No Baby. No Beach.

    It’s been an incredibly hard journey, but I’ve learned to redefine who I am and my wife has too. I’ve learned the power ofThe Yet Mindset. Here’s some takeaways from what I’ve learned.

    Three Tips towards Redefining You

    1. Focus on What You Can Control

    It’s way too easy to list all the things you don’t have: money, time, etc. So when it comes to moving forward in life, focus on the things you do have control over.

    For instance, I look forward to one day owning a home near the tropical beach where I’ll get to play fetch with Ben the Poodle and go on long walks with my wife as we breath in the sunset. But that hasn’t happened, yet.

    We’re seeing a world-class doctor and following a recovery protocol that takes medicinal wisdom from both Eastern and Western worlds and it has yet to bring about recovery.

    What I do have control over, however, is my work. I can take the needed steps to work from my computer and be an entrepreneur. That way, when the day comes that her health improves to a point that we can move, we’ll be able to move quickly.

    There’s a lot we don’t have control over, and to someone who likes to be in control like me, it takes a daily effort to push aside what I don’t have control over so I can make room to work on what I do have control of.

    2. Add in the Word “Yet”

    The word “can’t” will easily pervade the mind when something catastrophic like a chronic illness enters your life.

    It’s okay to acknowledge that right now you can’t do something. I mean, if you literally can’t lift your leg because it’s broken, you can freakin’ lift your leg, right?

    So add in the word “yet”. There’s a lot that I’m terrible at and working really hard to make happen, so I add the word “yet” in a lot to my daily lexicon.

    PBB hasn’t happened yet, but it will.

    I’m not a full-time entrepreneur yet, but I will be.

    My wife’s not fully recovered yet, but she will be.

    3. Build Your Own Support

    Forgot the cliche support group. Build a network of people that empower you and support you in your goals.

    For instance, my wife and I recently attended a weekend conference called Living Well with Lyme Disease at Omega Institute in New York. There, we met inspiring people and heard empowering stories from other people with chronic illness.

    Find your own tribe of people that empower you and keep them on speed dial. You can create a private Facebook group for you all or meet at the local coffee shop once a week.

    You’re the one who is ultimately in control of redefining you, but it’s helpful to have helping hands that keep you on the ladder. 

    4. Consider a Quest

    When Leon was sitting in his small apartment in Los Angeles, he grew so depressed that he thought seriously about ending it all right there.

    Instead, he hopped on his vintage motorcycle and drove around the entire world relying on people’s kindness to fuel his quest.

    Daring, oh yeah! A bit crazy, sure! But when Leon used the power of a seemingly ridiculous quest to drive him, literally, he found a deep sense of purpose. Moving forward helped him stay positive and he let go. He trusted other people to fuel him. And what he experienced on that voyage is that there’s a lot of love out there. The real fuel for Leon’s trip wasn’t the gas that drove his motorcycle. It was the love he received from the people he met along the way.

    Here’s what he had to say when we sat down for a coffee chat:

    Enter Leon

    Chris Guillebeau helped me see how a quest can help someone drive their sense of purpose. In fact, he wrote a whole book on it called The Happiness of Pursuit. When I sat down with Chris, he told me that a quest goes beyond rational thinking. It’s not driven by material desires or left-brain thinking. It’s driven by the heart and the heart can be a whole lot more powerful than the mind. Here’s a bit of what Chris had to say about why someone may want a quest to help redefine themselves:

    Enter Chris


    So whether it’s a quest or just taking some time to write and connect your dots again, when something so powerful happens in your life that it literally forces you to redefine yourself, it’s no easy task.

    It requires you to do something that many people ignore. It forces you to look inside, take a deep look, and speak to your spirit.

    “We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps.”

    Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

     

     

    11 min

About Your Life on Purpose

From the publisher's feed

The podcast that helps you feel less like a cog in a machine by connecting the dots between school, your passion, and what the world needs -- all in under ten minutes.