Your Life on Purpose

So often, we like to move on to the next thing after accomplishing a goal.Like, okay, my goal was to bench press 300 lbs — all right did it, now let’s set 350 lbs for bench press. 

 

I’ve seen macho guys in the gym do this all the time.

 

Instead, though, what if before moving to your next goal, you stop and reflected on what’s worked and what didn’t work? 

 

That way, you can become more efficient and also, as you get better at something, the more advanced your goal the more technical and specific your actions need to be.

 

To win a marathon is a whole different type of training then completing a marathon.

 

To complete a marathon, it’s actually pretty simple. You just need to start running consistently about 12-16 weeks before the marathon, running 3-5 miles every other day with one day on Sunday being your long run where you build up to a 20 mile run 2-3 weeks before race day. Then you taper down to peak. 

 

To win a marathon, you bump up the number of runs, you diversity aerobic and anaerobic workouts to increase aerobic ability and muscular endurance ability, you focus on form with ninja-like awareness, and the list goes on. 

 

Point is: As you get better and your goals get higher, you need to adjust your game plan.

 

Here are 3 tips to bump up your game plan, reflect, and grow stronger:

 

 

You’re not taught how to do this in school. In school, teachers do this for you. Which is good when you’re in elementary school. Not so much when you are in high school and need to think on your own. 

 

The simplest way to assess your win is to take at least 5 minutes to look at it and make a list.

 

Write a plus, a minus, and a triangle and make a T-chart thing. Underneath the plus, write down what worked the best, under the minus what didn’t help, and under the triangle, write down what you could change to make your training better. 

 

 

Maybe you have a morning routine that’s not serving you. Like you get up and just mozie around all morning before finally getting to work. If that’s your style and you’re happy with it, fine, but if you find yourself late at night trying to get work done and stressing about it, then maybe you should.

 

Whenever something goes well for me, I often talk through the process with my wife or my accountability partners. Just by talking with them, they ask me questions that I wouldn’t have thought about beforehand and help me dive deeper.

 

To really get better at something, it’s not so much about looking outwards, but having help to look inward.

 

3.Teach

Honestly, the best way to get better at something is to teach it. There’s over an 80% retention rate when you teach something. Meaning that by teaching something to others, you actually learn the most.

 

Why?

 

Because again it forced you to look in and really reflect on what has worked for you and what hasn’t. It forces you to pay attention. 

 

This is the perfect time for you to help mentor someone. You don’t have to be an expert, but your own journey has allowed you to help guide someone down a similar path. 

 

That’s why many call teaching a vocation.

 

The original buddha, Prince Siddhartha Guatama, for instance, learned this the hard way. After reaching enlightenment, he was like, okay…I’ve learned this. i’m done. He didn’t want to teach it to anyone. 

 

Then he was convinced that teaching is a person’s duty and he shared his journey to enlightenment. 

It’s been an absolutely incredible week and I hope you too are feeling good about what you accomplished so far this week.

 

Take a moment and think about your wins. What is one thing you did this week that moved you down your path on purpose? 

 

For me, my weekly goal was to get published on another top platform besides The Huffington Post. I’m honored to help contribute to The Huffington Post, but I wanted to expand my reach and do more as a writer.

 

Today I just heard back from both elephant journal and Collective Evolution and they will publish my work.

 

So, I’m really excited and honored to join them in sharing the message I talk about here on Your Life on Purpose.

 

I share this story with you not to brag. I share it with you to show that I’m right there along side you, walking down my path on purpose.

 

You see, I love to write, but I never really thought of myself as a writer. Yeah, I went through a lot of higher education and have these fancy pieces of paper that say I can write, but I never really had faith in my writing.

 

But I feel strongly that you should practice what you teach, so to be a published author is an honor.

 

So, for me to write for elephant journal, Collective Evolution, and The Huffington Post is truly amazing.

 

This week on Your Life on Purpose, we started to wrap up The Hero’s Journey and how, when we live our lives on purpose, we activate the hero within. 

 

Here’s a short lightning round of what we discussed this week. If this is your first time listening to this podcast, first of all welcome, and second of all…go back through the earlier four episodes for the longer version of the tips and stories I shared this week.

 

It’s a short saying that empowers you to push through any physical or mental struggles. 

 

It could be the name of a loved one, a daily affirmation of yours, or an old saying you used to say in the military. The shorter the better. And each word should be like strong hot sauce. And if you like hot sauce, make sure to be careful with Dave’s Insanity Sauce. I made a big mistake putting a tablespoon of that in my winter chili once. Whoo

 

Men are taught not to ask for help because we are suppose to be the breadwinners and all. Men…this is my message to you. We can flex our biceps all we want, but real men ask for help. Real men share their emotions. We’re human after all. 

 

Anyway — I digress. Ask for help and you will receive it. 

 

What is work for? It is just for a paycheck, is it for security? Chances are if you’re listening to this podcast, you look at work as your life’s work. It’s your unique value to give to the world.

 

I’ve heard from a lot of you listening and from what I can tell, you’re all just like Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, or Arianna Huffington. You want to have an impact and build a legacy.

 

Am I right?

 

When you’re doing something that matters, its hard work. Don’t quit. Build the accountability systems I’ve talked about here on Your Life on Purpose and just keep doing what you create best. Heck — email me if you think of quitting and I’ll write back five reasons why you shouldn’t.

 

Unless — sometimes you should quit. Quitting is not a bag thing. Quitting can open others doors. Quitting frees up time. And time is our most valuable currency. 

 

I don’t value gold. I value time. I value impact. And chances are you do to. 

 

— Reach out and say hello :) 

 

@markwguay

After you’ve started your own project and create something, I’ve mentioned how you leave The Ordinary World. You hear your call to purpose and act on it.

First of all, that’s awesome because most people never do this their whole life and go to the grave with their best ideas still inside them.

Just by listening to this podcast, you’re asking yourself the questions that many people are too afraid to ask themselves. So, that deserves some recognition.

But, something unique happens after you reach a turning point and experience a level of success. It’s like you’ve climbed so far up a mountain and got to the top and experience the high of being on top of Everest, then realize the hardest part is ahead of you.

You still need to come down the mountain and that requires you to be even more dedicated. In fact, to keep going with the mountain climbing metaphor, most deaths on Mt. Everest happen on the way down. Just read the book Into Thin Air by one of my favorite authors, Jon Krakauer to know what I mean. 

And I think you’ve all been there before.

So, first I’d like to offer two tips to resist the temptation to quit and then one tip about when YOU SHOULD quit.


1. Have Faith In Yourself

So, I’ve always loved learning about religions. And it’s incredible when you look at religious texts, how the temptation to quit is a recurring theme.
In the Christian Bible, for instance, when Moses was leading the Hebrews out of Egypt and  to the land of milk and honey, he great weak and tired. He said in the Book of Numbers, “I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.”

Moses had faith in God as a higher power that it would work on well in the end.

Depending on whatever religion you believe or don’t believe in, have faith in your beliefs. For me, I do believe that when you live your life on purpose and it comes from a source of love and compassion, there are outside forces that help guide you on your path.

But, also have faith in yourself. You have talents, you have a genius, and only you can walk the path you’re walking.

You’re on your path for a purpose.

2. One Step at a Time

Personally, I’ve always hated this piece of advice “one step at at time.” I know it comes from the 12-step model that’s popular in recovery programs, but it bugs me.

I’m a let’s run kind of guy, jump into the deep end, or parachute into a field kind of guy.

So, one step at a time just bugs me.

But, it’s true even in those examples.

When you’re running, it’s not about a big complicated process. It’s about one simple process, one step at a time.

When I would coach swimming or running and when I was out on a long run or a swim, I would think about it. One time when I swam a 10k in the Hudson River, I remember being underneath the George Washington Bridge and wanting to quit swimming. I was cold, the river smelled terrible with gasoline, and I thought about how much longer I still had to swim. I focused on stroke at a time.

When Lance Armstrong was asked what he thought about when he ride for over 5 hours on his bicycle, he said one pedal stroke at a time. Up and down.

It’s very Zen.

When you focus on one step at a time, it allows you to be in the present and not get caught up in the distraction of the future or the past. It’s allows you to focus on being here now.


3. Sometimes You Should Quit

No, if you’re climbing Mt. Everest and you don’t want to come down, you shouldn’t quit. You should muster up every cell of strength you have to get down to the bottom. That’s the real finish line there. Just google Beck Weathers to see what I mean about this. His story is incredible.

But, sometimes you should quit. You should quit when it’s not working.

You should quit physical daily habits that are not serving your greater good. Junk food. Not enough sleep.

You should quit being friends with people who bring you down or dis-empower you.

You should quit your job if you live for the weekends, are miserable during the day, or spend your day complaining about your job with your coworkers.

Easier said that done I know. Trust me, I’m terrible at quitting something. I’m a Capricorn and am good at charging up a mountain, but terrible at stopping to reflect and go, should I continue to climb this mountain?

For example, I quit racing triathlon a couple of years ago. I had put three dedicated years of training, sometimes over 15 hours a week, and done really well.

But I went too far and dipped into overtraining. My mind was in this terrible cycle of thought that went made sense at the time, but now I realize how stupid it was.

I had hurt my ankles and should have stopped cycling, but I was afraid to lose the aerobic endurance benefits of the many months of training I had put in to get so fast. That’s how aerobic training works. For a cyclist to ride his bike for 5 hours at a fast speed, it had little to do with that day. It had to do with the many months of slow aerobic training to get there.

I remember making the decision to quit when my ankles hurt so bad that I couldn’t even dance at my friend’s wedding. That was an ah-ha moment for me and I realized how stupid I was being.

Looking back now, I realize that I should have stopped about a year earlier. Now, I’m able to use that lesson to help guide me on when I should quit things in my life.

I also quit podcasting at one point too. I had run this podcast about transforming education and interviewed the movers and shakers who were transforming education all around the world. It was a lot of fun, but barely anyone listened. So, after 20 or so episodes, I called it quits and started up The Traveling Cup podcast which got triple the amount of people listening.

So, here’s the point.

Don’t always look at quitting as stopping something. Look at it as the ability to Start Something.

Start Something That Matters.

Time is our greatest value and we only have so many hours in the day. Quit doing those things that zap your energy, so you can start those things that empower you on your life on purpose.

Reach out and say hi on Twitter and say Hi :) 

 

@markwguay 

The bottom line of today’s message is this: Real heroes are humble and check their ego at the door. They ask for help.

 

By the way, I realize that many of you are at a point in your life where it’s embarrassing to ask for advice. You may be a CEO of a company, or just too old you think to ask for mentorship. That’s your ego talking to you.

 

That’s the thing you need to check at the door. 

 

When I’m 80, I hope I’m still wise enough to take mentorship from a teenager when it’s needed.

 

How do you know you need help? When the resistance kicks in and says you just can’t do it.

 

You’re just not smart enough.

 

You’re not agile enough.

 

You’re not strategic enough.

 

And the list goes on. There’s always going to be some sort of mental game that our brains play. 

 

But imagine if someone came up next to you and gave you just what you needed. They interrlocked their hands so that you can step rise up to climb the tree.

 

If you’re open and receptive to help, them mentors will show up to help hoist you up the tree.

 

It’s pretty simple actually. When you challenge yourself to push to a new level, you’re going to need a lot of help. 

 

Like I said, real heroes are humble and check their ego at the door. They ask for help.

 

I wish someone told me that when I was a younger. As a man growing up in the United States, we are taught to be and self-sufficient, strong, independent. Asking for help shows a sign of weakness. And only losers ask for help.

 

Real men survive on their own.

 

Man is that stupid advice.

 

I’ve learned now, however, that I don’t want to just survive. I want thrive. I want to grow. I want to do the extraordinary. And chances are you’re right there with me.

 

By the way, I give full credit to my wife for teaching me this lesson. When we first met, my wife and I went on a road trip and we got lost, but I didn't want to admit it. And I didn’t want to ask for help. Now I realize how stupid I was being and probably wasted a bunch of time.

 

With accepting that I need help to do the things I want to do in my life, I’ve learned that there are a couple of myths out there about mentors. And today, I’d like to dispel a few of those myths and provide a couple tips to attract the right mentors in your life.

 

If you like this topic, make sure you listen to episode 4 where I talk about the different type of mentors Virtual Mentors and In-Person Mentors.

 

 

Okay, it’s always a great idea to think about how you can help someone, but sometimes you just can’t. I’ve found that the majority of people, when you ask for help, they really want to help you. In fact, most take it as an honor. 

 

Keep your request as simple as possible, but be open, real, and honest about what you are trying to do. 

 

If you are in school, almost anyone will give you free advice or guidance because we all remember what it was like being broke in school. 

 

So, if you’re stuck right now at a point, ask someone for a bit of help. Seriously.

 

You don’t have to choose one mentor. In fact, I kind of think of The Mentor Tree as having many branches on it and each branch is a mentor. 

 

You can have many mentors and how much time they commit to you will vary for each situation. 

 

For me in the past, I often would ask one person to help mentor me and then have many conversations with people who I ask for small pieces of advice. 

 

The nice thing about having one mentor is that you develop a relationship with them, but I really enjoy thinking of my coffee chats as mentorship sessions. 

 

When I interview people for The Traveling Cup podcast, we talk for over an hour most times and these conversations are like mentorship sessions for me. 

 

Because I am helping them by providing a platform to share their message (great advertising), they agree to sit down for a one hour conversation. It’s a great win-win, but I always feel like I get more out of it. I owe so much to the people I’ve interviewed, especially since a number of them probably charge over one thousand an hour for consultations. 

 

3. But, What About Your Idea?

Trust me, I get it that by sharing what you are working on, someone may steal your idea. But, chances are they won’t.

 

They are too busy doing their own thing, nor do they have your unique ability to take that idea into creation. 

 

If you are afraid of someone stealing your idea, you could ask each person to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, but I’ve never heard of that working out well. 

 

Instead, think of it this way.

 

If your idea is really that good, then it needs to happen. And if the only way to have that happen is to be open with a mentor about it, then go with it.

 

By the way, my wife totally disagrees with me on this, so you can too.

 

--

 

This was the first year where I specifically asked someone to be a mentor to me and we met once a week for several weeks in the Spring. His name is Tim McDonald and I owe him so much.

 

As the former Director of Community for The Huffington Post, he didn’t have to give me the time of day. But, he happily sat down with me several times to show me how he  builds community. 

 

He’s become a great friend of mine too and I’ll do anything to help him achieve his goals.

 

Just remember that your mentors could also be the books you read, the blogs you follow, or the podcasts you listen to. You can even read a great biography and learn vicariously through the life of someone who achieved greatness. That’s why I love biographies. Just this year I’ve read Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs and the latest biography on Elon Musk. And, while I don’t plan on starting up a technology company, I learned a lot about what it takes to get to their level. And, by the way, both of these men have had a slew of mentors throughout their life. 

 

Steve Job’s mentor was a meditation teacher, for instance, who married Jobs and his wife. 

 

So, as you go throughout your day today, think about your mentors and consider how much more efficient you could be in achieving your goals if you learn through the experiences of others. If you don’t need to re-invent the wheel, don’t do it.

So, today, I’d like to do something a bit different. I’d like to offer you a tip that I learned (and I’ve alluded to before) that helps squash the resistance. 

 

It’s called, developing your mantra. Here we go….

I stared bleary-eyed at the mile marker 10 as Lake Seneca glistened in the periphery. My legs felt like bricks and sweat stung my eyes like battery acid.
 
Energy depleted. Exhausted. Spent.

I whispered my race mantra, “This is Water....ebb and flow,” over and over as my legs continued to somehow pump up and run and maintain proper running form.

Three miles later I crossed the finish line for my first Half-Ironman race, beating my race goal by ten minutes with a smooth time of 4:50:26 and quickly found my way to the nearby ice bath.

For my athlete friends out there, you know what I’m talking about here. We’ve all had moments when our bodies said, “Nope, You’re Done. Stop Moving.” But, when our bodies tells our minds that we’re done, it’s possible to breakthrough to a whole new level.

When I use to coach triathlon, I had my all of my athletes share their mantra with me before a race. I’d either have the mantra on a sign or yell it at them when they would pass by.

When they saw it, it was like a match sparked new fire in their eyes.

You don’t need to race an Ironman to benefit from a mantra. A mantra is meant to help whenever you’re going through a mentally or physically challenging time. Take it figuratively and I’m sure we all feel like we’re racing an Ironman at some point during our day.

Three Tips to Develop a Mantra

1. Keep it Simple

A mantra is a quick and meaningful saying that motivates the soul to push the body. Mine was “This is water...ebb and flow” because I knew that the pain I was feeling at that difficult moment in the race would subside and wash away like water on a beach.

 

Now, my mantra is “you’re getting better every day.”

2.  It Could Spark a Memory

One of my friends used to say a phrase his old military friend used to same to him when they fought in war together. That phrase would spark all the training he had put in in the military and remind him that he would persevere again.

3.  The Power of a Name

The mantra could be as simple as a name of a child or loved one. Sometimes just the name of someone you hold close to your heart can help give you the strength you need to push through.

Now, what’s your mantra? 

 

I mentioned that my new mantra is “I am getting better every day.” It’s more of an affirmation, but it still works the same. 

 

The reason I like this one is because I caught myself saying during a particularly difficult day, “I’m doing the best I can.” My wife and I had taken yet another emergency trip to the hospital and her Lyme Disease had hit one of it’s worse points. My checking account was getting closer to zero and we had already spent the majority of our what was supposed to be the downpayment for our first home. 

 

It was a really difficult time in my life. And, honestly, my wife and I are not in the clear by any means. We still struggle every day. We were actually just in the hospital last week for an emergency endoscopy. But, what’s changed is my mindset.

 

My mantra, I am getting better every day, helped me continue to move forward in my entrepreneurial goals, my writing, and, of course, creating this podcast. 

 

So, I hope the mantra helps you too stay on your path and live your life on purpose. 

Here’s what happened this week on Your Life on Purpose:

 

1. The Hero Inside All of Us

We embarked on The Hero’s Journey and are taking a close look at how it mirrors our live when we choose to live on purpose.

 

We all have a genius. We all have a hero inside all of us. It’s our mission to activate it and live it fully. That, my friends, would be sucking out the marrow of life, knowing that when I came to die that I had truly lived and not just merely existed.

 

And, yes, that was an allusion to Henry David Thoreau’s book, Walden.

 

2. A New Vision

There are plenty of moments where we are able to see anew with a whole new set of eyes. When have you experienced a new vision and saw something so beautiful you didn’t even know existed beforehand? 

 

For many of the people that I’ve interviewed, the new vision (like an awakening) happened when they started living their life on purpose, in accordance with their passion. When their motivation to work came from the soul instead of just trying to pay the bills, they found a new burst of energy and excitement. And this carried over into their new path in life.

 

When you live your life on purpose, you’ll have more thirst for life than ever before.

 

3. Leaving The Ordinary World

Steve Pavlina, author of Personal Development for Smart People, helped us realize that once you stop living in the rat race and focus instead of living from the heart, you sort of lose connection with the regular world. You see the rat race and it just doesn’t make sense anymore. 

 

When you live your life on purpose, things change. You choose to look at different things, choose to talk about different things. The cliche watercooler chat and living paycheck to paycheck just doesn’t make sense anymore.

 

4. The Call to Purpose

Jean Kilbourne, the filmmaker behind the widely acclaimed documentary series, Killing Us Softly, helped me realize that we all have times in our life where we have a decision. Something will make itself present and we have the chose to act on it or just ignore it.

 

For Jean, she saw how advertising in the 1960s was influencing women in a negative way and knew it would only further manipulate young girls growing up to act feminine like the advertisements showed them women should be like. 

 

So, she stopped modeling and took on The Call to Purpose. 

 

Have you heard a call to purpose? 

 

5. Refusing The Call

Last episode shares the story of Ben Lecomte who will be swimming the entire Pacific Ocean from Tokyo to San Francisco as part of this year’s world sustainability initiatives set forth by the World Economic Forum.

 

His ridiculously awesome call to purpose raised the bar for me.

 

it’s people like Ben that help push me to heed my call to purpose. Because level 3 in The Hero’s Journey is when the resistance creeps in and talks people out of their call. And, my friends, we all know there are plenty of reasons out there to not live your life on purpose. And I’m not a perfect role model. I constantly want to give up. 

 

Sometimes I wish I could be like some of my friends who work a job that there not really happy with, but it allows them to be provide for their family. They are okay in their comfort zone and honestly, sometimes I’m jealous of them. I wish I could do that.

 

But, I’ve learned, that I’m not like that. I look at life like a video game. I like to level up as much as possible and grow my mind, body, and soul. 

 

I only have so much time on this earth and I plan on on making it count.

 

Are you with me?

Level 3 is where the resistance really starts to kick and we find a number of reasons to talk ourselves out of walking our own path. 

 

Why? 

 

I think Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, said it best:

 

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”  - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist 

 

If you’re listening to this podcast, my guess that you’ve heard a call to live more intentionally. More in tune with your purpose. Or you may just want some sort of change.

 

But, even when you know this, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy to enact that change.

 

You have responsibilities to yourself and your family that need to be taken into consideration. And it’s so easy to grow comfortable in the everyday.

 

The everyday is what your body is used to. And, as much as we as humans don’t like to admit, we’re creatures of habit. 

 

And western culture absolutely loves being able to predict everything. That’s why Big Data is so popular. Why many people get paid a lot of money to predict the stock market, who will win the sports’ game, or even why we love SAT scores because they could predict that a student will be a good  brand investment for the school.

 

But, when you live your life on purpose you produce art. And art is beautiful my friends, but extremely unpredictable. 

 

So, as you go throughout your day today, become aware of the things you do or say in your day that you really don’t want to do. It could be a conversation with people that are toxic and drain your energy, but you do it anyway because they are coworkers or you’ve been friends with them for a long time. It could be working a job that doesn’t match your creative ability. 

 

Here are three tips to move beyond level 3 and push through the refusal of the call.

 

1. Pull the Rip Cord and  Let Go. You’ve already jumped out of a plane. Now, you just need to pull the rip cord and trust the parachute as you guide yourself back to the ground. You are part of something much greater than yourself. And know matter what religion you believe in or don’t believe in, understand that letting go of trying to control everything allows you to tune in and focus on the now. When you are able to focus on the now, it becomes easier to see the doors that are being open for you. So, walk forward confidently and let go of not being able to see the finish line of your path. Just keep walking forward.

 

Do small things to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Even though you know you want to grow into the best version of yourself, it’s easy to develop a comfort zone. Through routine and just what’s happened in your life, you’ve developed a comfort zone. Now, it’s time to stretch it. 

 

Chose one thing you can do that scares the crap out of you and do it. Go skydiving or take up rock climbing at the local gym. That’s what I did. No, not skydiving because that scares the living daylights out of me, but I took up rock climbing. Rock climbing has helped me conquer my fear of heights.

 

And to demonstrate how scared of heights I am, my palms just got sweaty as I’m saying this.

 

And yeah….I just realized I put a limit on myself. So, I am making this challenge to you. If you come out to NYC, I’ll go sky diving with you. Right near where I live is the place where all the West Point military cadets learn skydiving. 

 

But, rock climbing has helped me grow calm in the face of fear and stare at the fiery mouth of a dragon (or at least I think it’s cool to look at it that way!)

 

Sometimes, knowing that your actions will help others keeps you on your track. I know that helped me stay consistent with my triathlon training when my clients and team expected me to perform. And if you have kids, imagine how much better of a person you’re going to be and a role model for them when you persevere and  grow a limitless mindset. 

 

And a surprise 4th superpower tip.

 

If you’ve been listening to this show for a while, you know I often talk about positive affirmations. Find one that works as your mantra. It’s a saying you say to yourself every time the going gets really tough. The mantra has helped me a lot in my life, especially during physical feats like running a marathon. Whenever the pain got so hard I wanted to walk or just stop all together, I said my mantra and it helped keep me going.

 

Back then, my mantra was “Ebb and flow”. The image of the water going back and forth helped remind me that pain comes and goes.

 

Now, my mantra is “you’re getting better every day.” 

 

What’s yours?

 

---

 

Ben Leconte knows how hard it can be to not give up and persevere. He is one of the best examples I can think of of staring down the dragon and slaying it to continue on The Hero’s Journey. 

 

When Ben sets his mind to accomplish something big that many people would consider impossible, he does it. How big am I talking about? Ben will soon be starting The Longest Swim. He will swim from Tokyo to San Franciso — the entire Pacific Ocean.

 

Yes, I’m serious. When I heard of Ben I just had to meet him because I didn’t think he was real. 

 

So, in other words, think of Ben’s story whenever you want to give up. I know I will.

 

 

Check Ben’s work out over at The Longest Swim.com. 

 

So, The Refusal of the Call is the level in The Hero’s Journey that everyone faces. When you choose to live your life on purpose, you will face it.

 

And you have the power to slay it and move on. And I’ll be right here helping you do so too.

 

Tomorrow, we move to level 4, The Mentor Tree. 

If you’re new to this podcast, head over to yourlop.com to catch up and learn more.

 

Yesterday we talked about leaving the ordinary world. That’s the world where people are not walking their own paths, but instead are following the paths that outside forces say you should follow.

 

if you’re hearing a call to live more aligned with your purpose, then you’re hearing The Call to Purpose. It’s where you seek an adventure to learn more about yourself and do more in your life. 

 

A hero feels a call to adventure when they need to leave the ordinary world and set off for a life-changing adventure.Perhaps you’re in an unsatisfying job or you’re taking another class for another degree, but it doesn’t feel perfect. It’s time now to choose your own path.

 

Are you ready to accept this mission? 

 

Here are 5 things to do when you hear The Call to Purpose.

 

 

What’s a quest, you ask? A quest is a goal so epic that it scares you. It challenges you to be more and do more. Here are a couple examples of what people have already done, ranging from high school students bored with standard curriculum and sitting in rows for 8 hours a day to the corporate employee bored in his job.

 

-Buy a Website and Blog for 67 Days (this needs to be public so the world can see it)
-Write a Book/Movie
-Launch a Youtube Channel
-Obtain a Certain Fitness Goal or Weight-loss Goal

-Go Vegan (and Create a Vegan Cookbook)

-Ride a Motorcycle Around the World (Yes, someone really has done look. Check out the Your Life on Purpose episode w/ Leon Logothetis. I can’t make this stuff up.)

        -      Write a love letter every day to your significant other

 

Remember that you will always have the chance to go on another quest, so don’t worry about picking the right one right now. Stop deciding and start doing.

 

And if you are stuck on what would be the quest you’d like to start, here’s an easy way to find out.

 

List all of the things you are interested in doing. Keep on going and writing down this list until you feel your core shake or begin to shed tears. Fear can be a beautiful guide to knowing what is most important to your life.

 

 

The research says that it takes roughly two months, 66 days to be exact, to develop a new daily habit. Do something small for at least 5 minutes that relates to your quest every day for 67 days.

 

3.  Create at least one SMART goal for your quest. It needs to be specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time-based (it needs to be accomplished within two months time).

 

4. Think of the reason behind your quest. This is called your why. 

 

5. Make a pledge to accomplish your quest and share it with an accountability partner like your best friend or a lover. I call this The Purpose Manifesto.

 

As you go throughout your day today, imagine what will be different once you accomplish your quest. Every time you think of a situation, stop and fully recognize it. Take a mental snapshot of this moment. Embrace it. This is your destiny.

 

As you think about what quest you would like to go on, understand that failing can sometimes be the best learning opportunity, but for whatever reason we, as a society, have looked at failure as a bad thing. Heroes recognize that if you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough. Fail. Reflect on your failures. Grow better. This is called failing forward and heroes have it tattooed on their soul.

 

Jean Kilbourne knows The Call to Purpose all too well. A former model in the 1960’s, Jean began to see how advertisements were manipulating images of women: erasing blemishes, increasing bust lines, and at some times even creating completely fabricated women through some nifty copy and pasting. 

 

At home, Jean began to the influence these advertisements had on young woman. Jean heard The Call to Purpose and began her adventurous mission that produced the extremely popular documentary called Killing Us Softy. 

 

It was truly an honor to get to sit down for a chat with Ms. Kilbourne. I’ve been a big fan of her work since I first watched Killing Us Softy in college. If you haven’t seen the video, you need to check it out. It’s a perfect example of the kind of art that comes out of a person when they take on a quest. 

 

Tomorrow, I’ll dive into Level 3 of The Hero’s Journey where we face “The Refusal of the Call”. It’s a dark place and the way to get through has everything to do with how we react to stress. 

Yesterday I mentioned this week’s focus, The Hero’s Journey. I’ve been re-reading Joseph Campbell’s work (good thing I saved all of my books from college) and today I’d like to further explain the journey a hero takes to live their life on purpose.

 

Because when you live your life on purpose, you activate your inner hero.

 

And I realized that The Hero’s Journey is exactly what a person who chooses to live their life on purpose goes through.

 

If you don’t know the work of the late philosopher and mythologist Joseph Campbell, you absolutely need to read his work. There’s also a lot of beautiful archived interviews with him that you could download.

 

Most people already know The Hero’s Journey, even if you never heard of Joseph Campbell, because it’s the basis of a lot of popular movies out today: Star Wars, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings. 

 

And here’s the thing: if you are listening to this podcast and you’ve been joining me here for a while, you know you are a hero. 

 

Because it takes heroic courage to choose to live intentionally and live your life on purpose. 

 

Living out the greatest version of yourself takes tremendous courage when faced with the daily pressure to follow someone else’s path.

 

A real hero follows his own path.

 

So, let’s take a look at The Hero’s Journey and how it applies to living intentionally. I’ve broken it down into ten levels and will focus on level 1 today, The Ordinary World.

 

Are you ready to accept this mission?

 

 

The Ordinary World is the world that everyone else is living in, expect you.

 

This is the world you may be living in now. For some reason, you want more. You’re questing for more because you know that you don’t want to follow everyone else path.

 

You don’t want to conform. You want to expand and grow. You want to fly higher because you think so many people have grown comfortable flying low.

 

To leave the Ordinary World,  You must think big and be ready to fly high.

 

Let me tell you a story. There’s an old story about a guy named Icarus. You probably heard of it. But, most people don’t know the whole story.

 

The story goes that a guy named Icarus was trapped in a prison with his father. To escape, his father attached wings using wax to both himself and his son, Icarus.

 

The father gave him two warnings. Most people only know the first warning: fly too close to the sun and the sun will melt the wax and you’ll fall down to the ocean and drown. No one really remembers the second warning: fly too close to the ocean and the waves will lap water on your wings -- the wax will harden and you’ll fall in the ocean and drown.

 

And now that you know this, think about this throughout your day. 

 

It starts to become really apparent how often we limit ourselves.

 

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably hearing a call. 

 

I  call that, The Call to Purpose, but in The Hero’s Journey wordage, it’s called The Call to Adventure.

 

Steve Pavlina heard the call midway through his career in computer technology and game developer. He was always a bit of a misfit as a kid, having been locked up in jail as a kid. 

 

He turned his life around when he realized that the reason behind his disdain for authority as a kid may be because he just didn’t want to live like everyone else.

 

Steve Pavlina is now a widely acclaimed life coach and motivational speaker. He had one of the most popular self-development blogs up and running when most people (like me) didn’t even know what blogging was about. 

 

Tomorrow, I’ll dive into level 2 of The Hero’s Journey: The Call to Adventure because I’m sure a lot of you are hearing that call and eager to get started (if you haven’t already).