Your Marriage Matters

Welcome!  Today’s episode is about Holidays.  Where will you spend them?  Have you and your spouse had this important conversation?  This topic involves the expectations you have of your marriage and ties to family beliefs and traditions.  There are several variables to consider:  stepfamilies, geographic location, travel, and children.  This topic is best addressed before marriage and is certainly one that requires couples to work together.

Consider the following about your holiday plans:

What can you expect if you handle this conversation well?  

Listener Question of the Week:  I am really frustrated.  My fiancé and I have been together for several years and have been through many birthdays and holidays.  He likes to give practical gifts, and I like fun, crazy gifts.  What are your recommendations as to what to do?

Fun Question of the Week:  What is your idea of a great gift?

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Have a great week gang!

Jim and Christie

Welcome! Jim is flying solo for this episode because Christie has no voice! This episode is Part 2 in a Four Part Series of questions to ask ourselves individually and collectively, personally and professionally, to make 2016 our BEST YEAR EVER! This is a process that we have used in our family for about ten years now. I hope these questions will help you effectively communicate with each other and build your marriage to last a lifetime!

Last week, we discussed Question #1: What is working in our lives, and how can we do more of it?

This week, here is Question #2: What is NOT working, and how do we get rid of it or make it work?

Join us next week as we tackle Question #3. I hope you’ll use this question this week to strengthen your marriage commitment. Have a great week!

Welcome Gang!  I am flying solos today because Christie is under the weather.  In the next 4 weeks we are going to share with you 4 questions in a series called:

We ask individually and collectively and we ask them both personally and professionally.

We want to not only ask what is working, but why is it working right now?  Christie and I have started trying to be more connected lately and we found ourselves asking this very question.  

We want to know why things are good so that we can continue to do more of that.  If we don’t know why, then we don’t know what to do to get the same results.

When you ask these questions, you will find yourself being more connected to your spouse.  So much of our success in our relationships are about being intentional and engaged in the relationship.

Listener Question of the Week:  “If you were going to read one book to improve your relationship in 2016, what book would it be?”

Welcome! Today’s episode is an outgrowth of what Christy has learned by recently attending the Gottman Certification Training, and what Jim has learned from reading Dr. John Gottman’s book, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. We didn’t plan to focus on Gottman’s principles simultaneously, but it just worked out that way. We found out that we are actually doing his seven principles, but we aren’t doing them INTENTIONALLY. Gottman’s principles of making marriage work are based on much intentionality in the relationship. If you aren’t familiar with Dr. Gottman, then you may not know that he is a leading researcher in the science of marriage. He and his wife, Julie, run the Gottman Institute and the Love Lab, which is a center for scientific research on marriage and relationships.

From a list of many questions, today we are focusing on these Six Questions to ask each other:

If you want to build a Sound Relationship House, then you have to know the other person and pursue making your marriage better. So much of the work we need to do involves simple listening and being in each other’s world. We hope these questions will be the basis for good conversations that will help you get to know your partner better. Thanks for listening!

Welcome! Believe it or not, the holidays are fast approaching! Today’s topic we want you to consider involves putting some thought into YOUR holiday celebrations as a couple.

*What are three things that you want to make sure that you personally get to do during the holidays?

Consider the following about this topic:

To complete this assignment, do the following:

Remember, the holidays are coming FAST! You cannot wait to address this issue in your relationship. The time is now!

Listener Question of the Week: What is your partner’s favorite holiday?

Fun Question of the Week: What is your favorite Christmas gift that you’ve ever received?

Welcome!  Today’s topic is one that requires more transparency and vulnerability than some that we’ve covered. Have an open mind and approach with honesty!

Here is the question to consider: What is one habit that you would like to change about yourself, and why?

There are several reasons that this is an important issue:

How do we change habits? There are five steps: self-awareness, self-regulation (discipline), motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Your assignment is to set a time to get together and discuss today’s question.  Find out what your partner can do to help you, and vice versa. Have a follow-through plan of how to proceed in a positive manner.

Listener Question of the Week: How do you handle the chores that neither one of you likes to do?

Fun Question of the Week: What is one wedding tradition that you’ve seen that you really like?

Welcome!  We just wrapped up two different “Prepare to Last” classes with engaged couples. Check out our website for upcoming dates for classes and retreats. Our topic today is an outgrowth of the recent classes because much discussion happens concerning how we spend our money and how we view our partner’s spending.

Here is today’s question to tackle with your partner: What do you think are three things that are a waste of money?

This is a great date night conversation and not one that is too heavy. Consider these two questions and answers as part of your conversation:

Listener Question of the Week:  We are about 8-9 months away from getting married, and we are dealing with a serious drug and alcohol addiction problem. What do you think we ought to do?

Fun Question of the Week:  What is one thing you’d like to have for Christmas?

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast #019 from the book, “101 Conversations Every Couple should have before they Marry.” This podcast explores how you will individually and together approach decisions related to religion and spiritual matters.

Conversations of the Week - What do you think is the biggest threats you bring to your marriage, and what are you willing to do about it?

This question takes the topic from last week about the threats to your marriage, and it makes it personal.  

Why is it important?

This gives you an opportunity to identify your SWOTs.  What are your Strengths, Weaknesses Opportunities and Threats?Once you know what they are you can deal with them.

It also creates a heightened sense of self awareness.  This allows you to focus only on your SWOTS.

What do we need to consider when we have this conversation?

The willingness to be vulnerable with your threats also creates a greater sense of intimacy.  Being a safe person for your partner to share their weaknesses will create deeper bonds.  

Once you make this investment in each other and look at the threats, you really build a deeper commitment to your relationship.  

Listener Question of the Week - Why can’t he just let me vent?

Sometimes we bring up conversations just to be heard.  We don’t want it to be fixed, and we don’t expect anything to be done about it.  The process of verbalizing the issue is therapeutic in itself.  

When venting starts, a guys should ask “do you want me to fix it or do you want to vent?”.  Once the answer is “just vent”, turn your “fix it” button off and just listen and be supportive.  

Determining whether you are there to fix it or just to listen and support will save both of you frustration.  

Fun Question of the Week - What’s your favorite part of Summer?

Christie likes the outdoor activities in the sun.

Jim loves the July 4th holiday and all the activities that go along with it.

We hope this is a great conversation and you spend the time to really understand your partner’s beliefs and attitudes.

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie

Welcome!  Today’s episode is about Holidays.  Where will you spend them?  Have you and your spouse had this important conversation?  This topic involves the expectations you have of your marriage and ties to family beliefs and traditions.  There are several variables to consider:  stepfamilies, geographic location, travel, and children.  This topic is best addressed before marriage and is certainly one that requires couples to work together.  

Consider the following about your holiday plans:

What can you expect if you handle this conversation well?  

Listener Question of the Week:  I am really frustrated.  My fiancé and I have been together for several years and have been through many birthdays and holidays.  He likes to give practical gifts, and I like fun, crazy gifts.  What are your recommendations as to what to do?

Fun Question of the Week:  What is your idea of a great gift?

This week's episode is a #TBT where we take a look at one of our more popular episodes  about handling conflict and how you should work to resolve it in your relationship.