Your Marriage Matters

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast with Jim & Christie Jacobus! Except it is Jim flying solo this week because Christie is sick and while her raspy voice is sexy as heck around the house we don’t think it will sound very good on the podcast! 

Our Conversation of the Week for this episode is– What do you think are the three biggest threats to the two of you having an extraordinary marriage? And why? What can you do now to keep the threats from becoming a reality?

Some of the most common threats we see that you might check in on would be;

So, take about 30 minutes this week gang and individually list out the three threats you feel might threaten your having a vibrant, healthy marriage that will last a lifetime!

Our Listener Question of the Week – Jim … my fiancé wants me to get all involved in the A to Z  of planning the wedding. I would prefer to just show up at the appointed time and let her have the wedding she wants. What do you think?

Fun question of the week – what is the biggest trick or surprise you have pulled on each other?

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

  Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast #017 from the book, “101 Conversations Every Couple should have before they Marry.” This podcast explores how you will individually and together approach decisions related to religion and spiritual matters.

Conversation of the week – Do you see yourselves, as a couple, attending some form of church or worship? If so, where do you see yourselves going? 

This is an important conversation because it addresses core values and beliefs but also can be very difficult to discuss if there is a great difference in what is important.  For some people this decision concerning church attendance can be a “ deal breaker”

Several things to consider:

The topic of religion can be very difficult especially if there are significant differences in your beliefs.  Be willing to ask for what you want or need because it is foundational to discussions about a multitude of topics.  This subject is crucial to the long term health of your relationship and starting on the same page is also gained in this conversation. 

Listener Question of the Week–my fiancé is very controlling and it is getting a little scary. My hope is this is going to go away after we marry and they see I am in this for the long haul. Is that reasonable for me to expect?

Fun Question of the Week  What is the one thing you are really proud of and why?

We hope this is a great conversation and you spend the time to really understand your partner’s beliefs and attitudes.

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie

Welcome to podcast #016 from our book 101 Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before They Get Married.  These podcasts are designed for engaged couples as well as those who are seriously dating.

This week’s conversation is, “Describe the legacy you would like your marriage to leave—what are the 3 most important values you want your marriage to reflect”

This conversation is a core value discussion and helps us discuss our marital expectations and deals with ... 

Attitudes and beliefs that we hold that often are hard to identify and discuss.

Provides clarity and direction

Helps us invest in the future

Creates accountability as an individual and as a couple.

This conversation reminds us of Steven Covey’s habit, “Begin with the end in mind”! If we do this we can expect an ability to focus on the bigger picture and have clarity about our direction and purpose

Our Listener Question of the Week-  We have made some serious mistakes in our relationship and we want to move on past some of the hurts we caused each other.  What is the best way to move past the mistakes of the past?

Our Fun Question of the Week?  Name one of your favorite child hood memories?

Thank you for joining us for this podcast!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matters Podcast #015

Creating A Vision For Your Wedding Day!

Hey gang ...  

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters Podcast! Our Conversation of the Week is:

What are 3 things you envision when you think about your wedding day?

In this podcast we are reflecting upon a recent wedding Jim officiated and our experience with tons of premarried couples.  This is an important fundamental question about how you will, as a team, deal with each other's wants and needs.

This conversation is really important because it allows for a discussion about your hopes and dreams for your wedding day, even if you are only "seriously dating" and aren't really talking marriage just yet, as well as an experiment in collaboration and team work between you two as a couple. 

Remember that wedding planning can take a great deal of

It can also be a microcosm of how you make choices and collaborate.  You may want to involve others in the celebration and also many times it is advisable to delegate some of the tasks to a wedding planner.    

If we have this conversation now, we can intentionally plan for important decisions and learn together how we each problem solve. 

The engagement period can also help us to learn about how we each handle stress and deadlines. This time can be used to strengthen our vision as we look to the future. 

Our Listener Question of the Week—We are seeing our friends buying big houses when they first get married and that scares us.  What do you think?

So take the time to have a conversation about start to dream?

We hope you enjoy this podcast!

Jim & Christie

Welcome to podcast #014! Our podcasts are created for couples who are engaged or couples who are seriously contemplating marriage. The content comes from our book, “101 Great Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before They Get Married.” 

Your conversation of the week is ... 

“List 3 skills or characteristics that make you a good team member and how will they benefit your relationship”

This is an important conversation because individual skills are critical to any team and you each can identify what strengths you bring into the relationship.  Also you both can appreciate the diversity of your skills and learn from each other and lean on each other. 

It is important you each

·      Appreciate the differences you bring to the table

·      Know your strengths and weaknesses

·      Understand the importance of self management

·      Seek to enhance your relationship by improving each member of the team

Remember!!! You are both growing from two individuals into one team and in this process it is important you are able to communicate about the status of your team.

Some expectations from this conversation ... 

1) Perform a SWOT for your home team. In the same way organizations look at Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, you can start to look at the status of your team.  This podcast has each person examine their individual strengths and how it will help the team.

2) Self-Awareness of what you bring to the team that will be valuable moving forward

3) Start to build the foundation for becoming more of a team and less about two individuals.

We hope you enjoy this week's conversation! 

Listener Question of the Week

How did you get to the point where you called yourselves, “Team Jacobus”

Your Marriage Matters - Dealing With The Inevitable Conflict! - YMM #013

Hey gang ...

Welcome to this week's episode of Your Marriage Matters for couples who are seriously dating or engaged to be married. We are dedicated to helping you build a healthy, vibrant relationship that will last a lifetime!

This week we are going to deal with the inevitable reality of conflict in our relationship! Trust us it is better to do it now rather than later. This week's conversation, from our 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Should Have Before They Get Married book, is as follows;

"What challenges or conflicts have you encountered in your relationship and how have you worked together to resolve them"?

In this podcast we are going to give you two really important reasons why this is an important conversation. And, we will give you a couple of real world techniques you can use to help you process differences in a positive and productive way.

When it is all said and done there is nothing wrong with having conflict. As a matter of fact we are really concerned when a couple says they don't fight or argue about anything! That is a big red flag!

The question becomes ... "are you fighting in your relationship or fighting for your relationship"? The first will kill your connection and the latter will make it stronger!

We hope you enjoy this week's episode!

Our Listener Question of the Week is - Do you believe you should never go to bed angry? If you have a "listener question" for us go to www.yourmarriage-matters.com/qif and post it in the comments section. We appreciate that and the tougher ... the better!

Have a great conversation this week gang ...

Jim & Christie

Hey gang!

Welcome to this episode of Your Marriage Matters podcast for couples that are engaged or seriously dating! Heck ... most of our stuff is pretty good if you have already tied the know to jump on in.

The subjects of our weekly conversations come right out of our soon to be published book - 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Needs To Have Before They Get Married! Each of them is designed just to get you talking and communicating with each other in a healthy way!

This week's conversation goes like this ...

Now, if you are seriously dating and the subject of getting engaged or married hasn't come up just yet simply tweak the question to say What Are The Top 3 Things You Are Going To Expect From A ...?

There are a ton of reasons why this is such a great conversation to have to guys grab a notepad to write stuff down on and ask away! The answers will give you tons of insights as to what lies ahead!

Blessings!

Your Marriage Matters - What Are The Top 3 Things You Expect From Me? - YMM #011

Hey gang!

Welcome to this episode of Your Marriage Matters podcast for couples that are engaged or seriously dating! Heck ... most of our stuff is pretty good if you have already tied the know to jump on in.

The subjects of our weekly conversations come right out of our soon to be published book - 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Needs To have Before They Get Married! Each of them is designed just to get you talking and communicating with each other in a healthy way!

This week's conversation goes like this ... What Are The Top 3 Things You Expect From Me?

Now, if you are seriously dating and the subject of getting engaged or married hasn't come up kust yet simply tweak the question to say What Are The Top 3 Things You Are Going To Expect From A ...?

There are a ton of reasons why this is such a great conversation to have to guys grab a notepad to write stuff down on and ask away! The answers will give you tons of insights as to what lies ahead!

Blessings!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey gang ...

We just got back from teaching one of our R3 Marriage Retreats in Rockport, Texas with our good friends Matt & Julie Barnhill. We had such a great time with all of the couples who were in attendance there ... it was a blast!

One of the things we have learned through the years is that every time we teach we also learn. We are going a little off script in this episode as we share what our 2 biggest takeaways were from the retreat. They were ... 

#1 - Everyone there wanted to improve their communication skills! DUH! In the podcast we go into why couples are looking for better communication skills and what are the top 3 things that get in the way!

#2 - Everyone there wanted to connect with other couples who were like minded! We discuss why it is people are wanting to find folks that share their common relationship struggles!

We know this comes from a retreat that was for folks that are already married but trust us ... one day you are going to be in the same place they are and we want you thinking about it and preparing for it in advance!

Your Conversation For the Week - this week we want you to talk about how you intend to be intentional ablout growing your marriage. Here is a question to help spur you on ... "what are 3 ways each of you intends to grow personally in the next 12 months that will help your relationship?" We want you to get into the mode of being a couple that is intentionally learning and investing in your relationship!

Our Listener Question of the Week is - my future spouse likes to hug everyone they meet, even at work! I think that is a bad idea and I am uncomfortable with it. What do you guys think?

As always, we hope you have a great week and enjoy your conversation!

Jim & Chriatie Jacobus

Welcome to 

5 Fun Date Night Questions

- YMM #009

Hey gang! We wanted to shift gears a little bit and have a little fun so we came up with 5 "Date Night" questions you can ask each other and just have a conversation that doesn't go anywhere but help you learn some cool stuff about each other! Maybe it will help you win "The Newlywed Game" someday!

Enjoy these conversations and put your answers in the comments section below!

1.     Best concert ever?

2.     What is your best memory of when we first started dating?

3.     What are 5 reasons why you love me?

4.     What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play?

5.     If you could have a fantasy dinner party and invite any 4 guests you wanted to … where would you go to eat, what would be served, and who would your guests be?

What we wish for you, our listeners, is hope for your future and a great relationship and marriage if you are headed in that direction.  The key to this is great communication with each other.  So have some fun with these questions and a great date night!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matter