Your Mental Breakdown

Drew continues to work on breaking codependence. He is looking at several relationships in his life, right as we're in the thick of the holiday season. He realizes that "not talking to somebody for a month, doesn't mean they don't love you." It's ok if you don't have someone showing you love right in front of you at all times, it's still there... and he's beginning to feel that that's true.

Doug Friedman

Meredith Levy

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As Sarah talks about a stressful work relationship, Doug slows her down and helps her process being a trauma survivor. They examine how Sarah's system learned to protect her from complex trauma in the past and how it still affects her current relationships. Doug walks Sarah through examples of interactions to help create new neural pathways and new ways of thinking and interacting.

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Doug's New Album on Spotify

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Meredith Levy

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Mer is back with Doug on the breakdowns, and might be a little jelly of the guest co-hosts... Drew is embracing being perfectly imperfect and not getting so caught up in the moment of disappointment, knowing it will be ok. And he will be ok. He calls Doug his mental muscle trainer, and he's flexing his muscles!

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Meredith Levy

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In an emotional session, Sarah vents about an issue she's having with a coworker. This leads Doug to look deeper inside for what's really going on with her. As he helps Sarah slow down in the session, she takes a deep breath and feels the emotional weight of stress she's been holding and keeping inside. Sarah tries to stay controlled and worries that if she lets it out, it will all be tears. Doug and Mer break down the shift from intellectual to emotional realizations that Sarah has in the session.

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Drew is directly affected by Covid hitting his family at Thanksgiving. Doug is joined by his colleague and therapy practice mate, Sasha Brodsky.

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Drew reflects on his self-worth and thinks about it not coming from what he does for others, but rather truly from himself.

Doug is joined in the breakdown this week by his colleague and friend, Bonnie Rae (who was on our first Roundtable in Season One!). Bonnie and Doug explore unmet attachment needs and breaking codependency.

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Bonnie Rae

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Drew is unlearning codependency by building confidence in himself. From this strength he is finding community and feeling a sense of belonging that doesn't rely on other people's well being for his own.

"I was ok when they weren't disappointed but I was never really happy." -Drew

Doug's colleague, Jen Parkford joins the Breakdown and offers her perspective.

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Doug and Mer talk comets and cults while Doug corrects an earlier comment that the cult leader in Sarah's case was caught - he wasn't! He lived in hiding for over twenty years until he died. Sarah talks about school and education growing up in the cult. She explains the massive confusion and the ensuing tragedies experienced by many around her in the aftermath of leaving the cult. Doug helps Sarah slow down and relate the innate feeling of protection she described as a new mom holding her baby for the first time to her own experience as a child not being protected. Sarah and Doug explore the conflict that comes from wanting to forgive someone making amends for causing harm in the past when you're still feeling the impact, heartbreak, and anger about the trauma.

Mentioned in this episode:

Doug Jaymes Friedman music on Spotify

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Meredith Levy

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Mer acknowledges Doug for his emotional and personal music album coming out in a few weeks; and then she gives him guff for not getting the podcast's Patreon launched yet! It's coming soon with ongoing Drew episodes and other exclusives for subscribers. In this session with Sarah, Doug helps her look at the inner critic that fuels perfectionism. This is often a trauma response from her growing up in an abusive cult with neglectful parenting. Doug and Sarah acknowledge "Little Sarah," the wounded child inside of her that didn't get nurtured and protected by a loving parent. Doug and Mer highlight how reparative it can be for Sarah to be a compassionate parental presence for her own children, especially if she can apply some of that parenting to "Little Sarah."

Mentioned in this episode:

Doug Jaymes Friedman music on Spotify

Avett Brothers - No Hard Feelings

Doug Friedman

Meredith Levy

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Meredith imparts some knowledge to Doug (and us!) about invalidation trauma after a recent training. We get to know more about Sarah in her session as she talks about her work, her upbringing in the cult, and her anxiety that she carries around with her still. Doug helps Sarah understand the connection of making herself indispensable to a historic fear of abandonment. Doug and Mer highlight the baby steps that Sarah is taking with the awareness of the connections and patterns from her past that are coming up in sessions.

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Meredith Levy

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