Remembering the experiences for the last 22 years. Today I wanted to share a tradition that I love and look forward to every Christmas season, putting ornaments on our tree.

You may be wondering why would putting ornaments on my tree be such a big deal?

The reason ornaments are so important for me is because our tree is a history tree. Every year we would buy an ornament that represented something big that year and I can reflect on the experiences and things I’ve learned over the years.

Experiences make life enjoyable and empowering if we learn from them.

You will have experiences where you feel like you have failed miserably; however, if you look at the lessons you have learned, you win. If you succeeded and then also look at the lessons learned, you have the best win/win situation.

Change your mindset to realize there is value in every day; today is a blessing because you’re in it. You bring something to this world nobody else can.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself how valuable you are and that you’re of tremendous worth, because you are amazing, believe it!

Don’t forget to design your life, instead of reacting to life.

The BIG Question We Must Answer, Why?

As you create goals or things you want to do/accomplish in life, you will hit peaks of impossibility, where you feel like it’s not going to happen. You must ask yourself, Why? Why are you wanting to accomplish this goal?

The process of asking  yourself why and answering it helps you to get over despair and continue forward. 

The Pit/Valley

I know after accomplishing something that seemed impossible, you’re on a high but then all of the sudden we fall into the pit of despair. What? How could this happen are the questions that start running through your mind. You start feeling hopeless, frustrated, lost and confused so again, you must ask and answer why? Why are you doing this?

The more we can answer this question, “Why?” The faster we will be able to accomplish our goals because it will keep you focused on your task.

To many times, I’ve seen people stop progressing towards their goals and it’s always because their reason behind accomplishing their goal is weak. You will be challenged, facing peaks and valleys to prove you are worthy of your goal. 

You are in the process of learning self-mastery, managing your life so that you can accomplish whatever your mind dreams of. You are not setting goals to get stuff, getting stuff is not a big enough reason.

Never-Ending Climb

As you climb out of the pit of despair, you start climbing the hill of never ending. At this stage, you will feel like it’s forever off in the distance and you will never get it; however, ask yourself the question, Why?

The more you ask the question, Why, the faster you can achieve your dreams. To accomplish a goal, no matter what it is, you must take action, one small step at a time towards it and have a compelling why.

You can do it. You have what it takes to do what you want to do because you are amazing, believe it!

Tony Rhoton, Trainer, Speaker, Mentor • 801.787.5765

10 Steps on How to Have the Best Year Ever

Having the Best Year Ever! I am going to introduce you to one of the most powerful exercises and techniques that I teach my students to have the best year ever. This simple technique changed my life forever, and I want to share it with you and change your life forever.

Step 1 – Write Your Best Year Ever Story

Imagine it is New Year’s Day, January 1, 2020, and as you look back over last year 2019, it was the best year ever, what happened? On a piece of paper, write this leading sentence, “Wow, I can’t believe that 2019 was so amazing. It really was the best year I have ever had because…”

This is the fun part, just letting your mind go, it doesn’t matter if it’s traveling, business, family, or anything in between; allow your story to flow.

It’s critical that you do NOT over think this and you allow your story to come out of you. Get rid of all of the negative thinking and just write whatever would make this the best year ever.

Examples of things you may want to include:

* Health* Travel* Business* Activities* Family* Friends* Hobbies

When I implemented this technique, I discovered how much I want to speak and help others, and that’s why I’m here doing this today. This Best Year Ever Exercise has changed my life forever and here’s how.

Step 2 – Re-read Your Story

Now that you have completed your best year ever story, go back and read it. Do NOT allow your negative thoughts to get in the way. Read it and let this story to sink into your mind. Is this the best year ever or do you need to add some additional details to make it the best year?

Add any other items to make it the best year ever and then move on to step 3.

Step 3 – Identify Your Goals

You’ve written your story and read it, now read it again and dissect it. This time as you read your story underline the items that would make it the best year.

For example, “We went to Disneyland as a family and …”

In this example one of the things that would make it your best year was to take a trip to Disneyland, hence why it is underlined. Go through your paper and underline everything that would make it the best year. After you have underlined the key items, move to step 4.

Step 4 – Micro-Goals

Primarily what you have underlined were broad goals, i.e., Disneyland in the above example. If you were just to put that out there, you would eventually get it, but we want you to get it this year. You will increase your likelihood of reaching this goal if you go through the process of breaking down your large goal into smaller micro goals.

The broad goal is going to Disneyland, but now you need to identify all of the costs associated with it. Where will you sleep? Are you going to go for a week, or a few days? Where will you eat?

You were going through the process of identifying what needs to happen to make this a reality. As you go through this process, you are also visualizing it. After some initial research, you discover it’s going to cost $3,000. You break this down into smaller goals. If you want to go to Disneyland in one year, that means you will need to save $250 every month. However, this may be overwhelming so let’s break it down even smaller. You will need to save $62.50 a week or $9 every day.

Why am I Doing This and What’s the Purpose?

I have been undergoing some serious introspection and asking this question, “Why am I doing this?” and “What is my purpose?” These two questions have helped me put things into perspective.

Recently, I have had several Facebook friends say, “I’m done. I’m not going to be posting anymore on Facebook because …” The excuses vary but generally, it’s because of some negative feedback they received on a post they made.

I’ve read some of the posts in question, and they were right, the persons responding were rude; however, I had to ask the question, “Why did the original poster they post that? What were they hoping to accomplish with that post?”

As I was reading these posts, I realized these are good questions to ask/share with you and to pose the question, “Why are you doing what you are doing and for what purpose?” This question applies to all aspects of your life because I think you should be questioning why you so you can understand it yourself.

Understanding

The process of self-improvement is a continuous development and should never end. These questions help in defining who you are and what you are hoping to accomplish. Start asking yourself these questions like,

* Why do you drive the way you do?

* What do you hope to accomplish with your parenting?

* Why are you posting that post?

* What do you hope to accomplish by making that post?

As you gain a greater understanding, you will improve your communication, connection and love for those with whom you have influence. You will be more purposeful in your actions, which will lead to a more fulfilling life with higher value.

Start implementing these two questions in your life today and see what difference it makes.

You’re amazing, believe it!

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Speaker, Trainer – 801.787.5765

 Improve Your Relationships; Change Your Mindset

Yesterday, I said good morning on this fabulous day, and the response I received back was, “Ugh, you call this a good day. It’s cold and snowing. I hate the snow.” I was caught off guard at first because of their pessimistic attitude, which got me thinking about our thoughts and attitude towards relationships and the importance of improving relationships.

You have relationships with things, experiences, people and places and your attitude determines what that relationship will be. I love the snow and how it makes the world seem pure and perfect. I love the cold because it gets rid of bugs that damage crops. The winter time brings peace and helps me focus on family because I don’t have the desire to go outside every night.

The cold and snow are the same; nothing has changed except the attitude I have towards it versus the response of the other individual.

As I continue to think about it, I realized that we need to be mindful of our thoughts and focus on the positive.

Focus on Positive

I’m not saying you put on rose-colored glasses and assume everything is fine; this is unhealthy and disconnected. I want you to focus on the positive attributes of the relationships. For instance, if you’re struggling with your spouse and they bring anger everytime you think of them; focus on what you like about your spouse. What is it that you love about them?

Another example could be you are in a job that you hate, instead of thinking how miserable and frustrating the situation is, take the time to identify what you like. You can focus on the fact that you get paid to work.

The more you focus on the positive, the more you stay in a constructive and building mentality, which helps you to accomplish what you want. If you’re pessimistic and remain frustrated, you close down. The more you close down, the more you shut down and disconnect, making you more frustrated and angrier.

Take the time today and write down one thing you like about the relationship you’re struggling with, read it before going to bed and wake up tomorrow and add another item you like; keep doing this for 30 days. By the end of the thirty days let me know what’s changed?

You’re amazing, believe it!

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Speaker & Trainer – 801.787.5765

Change Your Life by Interrupting Your Thoughts

Yesterday I was confronted by someone that said, “You’re giving people false hope. You can’t change your life like you’re talking about.”

The information I share with you will change your life if you implement it. She was right, but she was also wrong. I can’t change somebody’s life that’s correct; however, you can change your life, and that’s where she was wrong. If you implement the techniques I’ve shared with you, your life will change.

For example in this article and video, I’m talking about interrupting your thoughts and being mindful of them. Our stinking thinking creates a lot of pain, sickness, and suffering within our bodies. Can I prove this will work with you? No, but I can share a personal story that shows how it may help.

Personal Story of Moving Emotions

The other day, my beautiful, amazing wife, whom I call Beautiful, had a tremendous headache. She had her headache for three days, and it was getting worse by the minute. After checking on all of the obvious things like sleep, drinking water, smells, etc., I asked her, “What’s stressing you out?”

She told me about a relationship that was bothering her. I taught her a method to deal with these emotions and this relationship.

About an hour and a half later, I asked her how she was doing, and she said,

“I did what you suggested I do. As I was processing through the relationship and the frustration, my headache got worse and worse. The headache increased tremendously; however, I kept processing it. After I completed using the technique, I no longer had the intense headache, it’s more of a dull feeling. I went outside, walked around while building myself back up and it worked. My headache is gone.”

Understanding How It Works

I will explain what was happening:

My wife had an emotion that she felt like she did not have to worry about it and it would go away. The typical response is, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not that big of a deal.” When you look a lot closer, her emotion was affecting her much more than she wanted to admit. The emotion had lodged itself in her shoulders, which tightened up the muscles and moved up the neck causing a headache. Once my wife moved the emotion and got it out of her, the headache went away.

Our thoughts stimulate emotions; the emotions trigger actions and the actions lead to results. If you don’t manage your emotions and store them in your body, you will get negative results. Learn how to move emotions, gain confidence and increase your self-esteem independent of others using the Complete Self-Esteem Course.

Trust the process and give it a try.

Tony Rhoton – Mentor, Speaker, and Trainer

Belief in God or a Higher Power

I have always been amazed at how some people allow themselves to be offended by others belief. The whole Christmas issue floors me. If you’re offended by somebody else’s belief, you need to strengthen your own.

Today’s article is going to be a spiritual one. I will refer to God as a loving Heavenly Father because that’s how I see him. However, if you don’t believe in God, where I reference God, put in your Higher Power.

There are three components that make up a person’s self-esteem.

* Belief in self. – The first component for a higher self-esteem is your own thoughts and feelings about your self.

* Interpretation – Your interpretation of what you think others think about you. We assume and create stories in our mind about what others think about us, when frankly they are worried about the same thing. Those that you worry about what they think about you, that person is worried about what you think about them. (Confusing I know)

* Belief in Heavenly Father (Higher Power) – The third component that forms our self-esteem is our belief in God and what he thinks.

If you have a high self-esteem, then you are probably pretty comfortable in each of these areas or at least strong in a couple of them. However, as you go throughout life, you may experience some low times, stop and be aware of your thoughts. What thoughts are going on in your head? What area above is being attacked mentally?

When you can identify the component that needs to be strengthened, you can pull out of your slump much quicker.

While I’m building the Complete Self-Esteem Course, you can get it for an introductory price.

You’re amazing, believe it.

 

Tony Rhoton – Mentor, Trainer and Speaker – 801.787.5765

4 Necessary Steps to Change Behaviors

There are many behaviors that we have that we might want to change. For example, biting nails, picking nose, drinking, swearing, etc… Whatever the behavior is there are some steps we must take to replace them.

Here are four steps you must take to change behaviors:

* Identify – You need to identify the behavior you want to change.

* Serving – The next step is to recognize how the behavior is helping, what is it doing for you? What need is it filling?

* Change – What’s going to happen if you change the behavior? There’s always a reaction to every action. If you change this behavior, what will happen?

* Create – After you have gone through these steps, you know what action items you need to do to change the behavior.

Sit w/ Uncomfortableness

Any time you are changing behaviors or anything that is instinctive, it will be uncomfortable. The response did not happen overnight, and it will not disappear overnight; however, be willing to sit with the uncomfortableness of change.

Imagine what it will feel like when you get rid of a negative behavior? Think about it and internalize how amazing it will be, accept this as part of the new you. As you turn the behavior, say to yourself,

“This is my new direction and I accept this new direction because it will be better for me.”

Your brain is going to need to be convinced that this new direction is okay, so rationally and smoothly guide it there. By saying this statement, you are reassuring the brain this new path is okay, even though it is different.

What behavior do you have right now that you want to change? Go through these four steps to change your behavior, starting today.

If you’re struggling with moving forward in life. Having a hard time accomplishing goals or feeling you have no worth or value, let me help you.

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach, and Trainer

What Can You Do When You have a Controlling Spouse?

Recently I launched an offer to purchase a self-esteem course for those saying they were struggling with their self-esteem. However, there were very few of these women who bought it, so I reached out to them to ask why? The response I received was sad and enlightening, “My spouse controls all of the money, and I have to get permission to spend money. If he doesn’t think it’s a worthy expense, he says, “No” and then I do not talk about it again.

First, I must vent and let you know this is abuse and my heart aches for you. (This is not okay and if you don’t feel safe, consider all your options to gain that safety.)

After hearing several stories that were similar, I couldn’t get this out of my mind, and this article is the inspiration I received to give women that are feeling controlled by their husbands. (This information is universal for men and women, whoever feels controlled.) The steps to implement this technique are already written on a previous post called, Unfinished Conversations. I will NOT repeat them here; please read Unfinished Conversations for the step by step process.

Feel Like Never Enough

When your husband is controlling it feels like you are never enough. You try to please him through intimacy, keeping the house tidy, doing his favorite things, etc… but nothing seems to give you the validation that you crave. Since you are not getting the validation, you worth goes down, weight increases, depression ensues, and you get to the point of not caring anymore and go numb.

You start to numb your senses because it hurts less. The coping mechanisms that you have created keep you safe but don’t help you progress and be the person you want to be. Despite your best efforts though, there are some days you are done and want to end it all.

Please know that you are loved and cared for. I’m here for you. Schedule an appointment here.

Believe in You

I believe in you, and I think you’re beautiful and talented. You have a gift to share with the world, and I want to help you share it by increasing your self-esteem, so you have the confidence to do so.

My message is to help you increase your self-esteem independent of others. If you want to be confident, you must learn how to love yourself as you are, independent of what others think. You don’t need your husband or children to build you up. Their kudos are additional toppings on your already made cake, but you don’t need them.

Start here to help increase your self-esteem, every little bit helps.

If you’re ready to take control of your life and jump-start your healing process, sign up for the Complete Self-Esteem Course.

 

Tony Rhoton, Speaker, Trainer, Mentor on Increasing Your Self-Esteem!

Change Requires Doing Something Different

You can’t expect things to change if you keep doing the same thing over and over. Yesterday I posted a video on self-esteem and a course that I’m putting together to help people have complete self-esteem. There’s a lot of time, money and energy going into this course and I offered it to everyone at $7 (valued at $197)

The thing that was interesting was how many people took advantage of this fantastic offer. I intentionally did not try to sell it or push it because I was curious what would happen. How many people would take action to improve their life?

After the day ended, there were very few people that took advantage of the opportunity.

This article focuses on something that I realized. In general, people do a lot of complaining. Complain about weight, job, friends, health, etc. but we don’t do anything about it.

Change is a Process

If you want things to change in your life, you must do something different starting today. If you’re going to be healthier, you have to take action on making healthier choices. The choices you make today matter, and it starts today. Change is a process; it’s not an immediate effect.

What are some challenges, or frustrations that you’re experiencing right now? Ask yourself, what is a simple step I can do today that will help me towards this challenge or frustration?

You have heard the quote before, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

The world is waiting for the best you; however to be the best you, new patterns must be created. For example, if you’re overweight, you can’t expect any change if you continue to do the same thing, eat the same thing over and over. You have to make changes on your diet, on your daily behaviors and patterns. Change is a process; it does not happen overnight.

What changes do you need to make?

If you’re having a difficult time making changes in your life, contact me so we can remove the blocks that are holding you back.

You can take advantage of tremendous savings while The Complete Self-Esteem course is being created.

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach, Speaker – 801.787.5765