月亮与六便士【中英字幕】

"You'vebeen very kind to me, " he said at last. "Everyone's been very kind."

"Nonsense," I said, a little embarrassed.

"At thehospital they told me I might wait. They gave me a chair, and I sat outside thedoor. When she became unconscious they said I might go in. Her mouth and chinwere all burnt by the acid. It was awful to see her lovely skin all wounded.She died very peacefully, so that I didn't know she was dead till the sistertold me. "

He was tootired to weep. He lay on his back limply, as though all the strength had goneout of his limbs, and presently I saw that he had fallen asleep. It was thefirst natural sleep he had had for a week. Nature, sometimes so cruel, issometimes merciful. I covered him and turned down the light. In the morningwhen I awoke he was still asleep. He had not moved. His gold-rimmed spectacleswere still on his nose.

“你对我太好了，”最后他说，“没有一个人不对我好的。”

“别胡说了，”我有些尴尬地说。

“刚才在医院里他们对我说我可以等着。他们给我搬来一把椅子，我就在病房外边坐着。等到她已经不省人事的时候他们叫我进去了。她的嘴和下巴都被酸液烧伤了。看到她那可爱的皮肤满是伤痕真叫人心痛极了。她死得非常平静，还是护士告诉了我我才知道她已经死了。”

他累得连哭的力气都没有了。他浑身瘫软地仰面躺着，好象四肢的力量都已枯竭，没过一会儿便昏昏沉沉地睡着了。这是一个星期以来他第一次不靠吃安眠药自己进入了梦乡。自然对人有时候很残忍，有时候又很仁慈。我给他盖上被，把灯熄掉。第二天早晨我醒来的时候他仍然没有睡醒。他一夜连身都没翻，金边眼镜一直架在鼻梁上。

The next weekwas dreadful. Stroeve went twice a day to the hospital to enquire after hiswife, who still declined to see him; and came away at first relieved andhopeful because he was told that she seemed to be growing better, and then indespair because, the complication which the doctor had feared having ensued,recovery was impossible. The nurse was pitiful to his distress, but she hadlittle to say that could console him. The poor woman lay quite still, refusingto speak, with her eyes intent, as though she watched for the coming of death.It could now be only the question of a day or two; and when, late one evening,Stroeve came to see me I knew it was to tell me she was dead. He was absolutelyexhausted. His volubility had left him at last, and he sank down wearily on mysofa. I felt that no words of condolence availed, and I let him lie therequietly. I feared he would think it heartless if I read, so I sat by the window,smoking a pipe, till he felt inclined to speak.

这以后的一个星期简直是一场噩梦。施特略夫每天去医院两次探听妻子的病况，勃朗什始终不肯见他。头几天他从医院回来心情比较宽慰，而且满怀希望，因为医院的人对他讲，勃朗什似乎日趋好转；但是几天以后，施特略夫便陷入痛苦绝望中，医生所担心的并发症果然发生了，病人看来没有希望了。护士对施特略夫非常同情，但是却找不到什么安慰他的言词。病人只是一动不动地躺在床上，一句话也不说，两眼凝视着半空，好象在望着死神的降临。看来这个可怜的女人只有一两天的活头儿了。一天晚上，已经很晚了，施特略夫走来看我。不等他开口，我就知道他是来向我报告病人的死讯的。施特略夫身心交瘁到了极点。往日他总是滔滔不绝地同我讲话，这一天却一语不发，一进屋子就疲劳不堪地躺在我的沙发上。我觉得无论说什么安慰的话也无济于事，便索性让他一声不响地躺在那里。我想看点书，又怕他认为我太无心肝，于是我只好坐在窗户前边默默地抽烟斗，等着他什么时候愿意开口再同他讲话。

Dirk gave a lowcry of distress. I asked him to go on and wait for me at the entrance, for Iwanted to say something to the nurse. He did not ask what it was, but wentsilently. He seemed to have lost all power of will; he was like an obedientchild.

"Has shetold you why she did it?" I asked.

"No. Shewon't speak. She lies on her back quite quietly. She doesn't move for hours ata time. But she cries always. Her pillow is all wet. She's too weak to use ahandkerchief, and the tears just run down her face. "

It gave me asudden wrench of the heart-strings. I could have killed Strickland then, and Iknew that my voice was trembling when I bade the nurse goodbye.

I found Dirkwaiting for me on the steps. He seemed to see nothing, and did not notice thatI had joined him till I touched him on the arm. We walked along in silence. Itried to imagine what had happened to drive the poor creature to that dreadfulstep. I presumed that Strickland knew what had happened, for someone must havebeen to see him from the police, and he must have made his statement. I did notknow where he was. I supposed he had gone back to the shabby attic which servedhim as a studio. It was curious that she should not wish to see him. Perhapsshe refused to have him sent for because she knew he would refuse to come. Iwondered what an abyss of cruelty she must have looked into that in horror sherefused to live.

戴尔克发出一声痛苦的低声叫喊。我叫他先到外面去，在进门的地方等着我，因为我要同护士说几句话。他并没有问我要说什么，便闷声不响地走开了。他好象失去了全部意志力，象个听话的小孩似地任凭别人支使。

“她对你说过没有，为什么她做出这件事来？”我问护士说。

“没有。她什么话也不说。她安安静静地仰面躺着，有时候一连几个钟头一动也不动。但是她却不停地流眼泪，连枕头都流湿了。她身体非常虚弱，连手帕也不会使用，就让眼泪从脸上往下淌。”

我突然感到心弦一阵绞痛。要是思特里克兰德在我跟前，我真能当时就把他杀死。当我同护士告别的时候，我知道连自己的声音都颤抖起来了。

我发现戴尔克正在门口台阶上等着我。他好象什么都没看见，直到我触到他的胳臂时，他才发觉我已经站到他身边。我们两个默默无言地向回走。我拼命地想象，究竟发生了什么事逼得这个可怜的人儿走上这条绝路。我猜想思特里克兰德已经知道发生的这个不幸事件了，因为警察局一定已经派人找过他，听取了他的证词。我不知道思特里克兰德现在在哪里。说不定他已经回到那间他当作画室的简陋的阁楼去了。她不想同他见面倒是有些奇怪。也许她不肯叫人去找他是因为她知道他绝不会来。我很想知道，她看到了一个什么样的悲惨的无底深渊才恐惧绝望、不想再活下去。

Dirk's handsmoved strangely, as though they had nothing to do with his body, with amovement of their own.

"Will youtell her that if there is anyone else she wishes to see I will bring him? Ionly want her to be happy. "

The nurselooked at him with her calm, kind eyes, which had seen all the horror and painof the world, and yet, filled with the vision of a world without sin, remainedserene.

"I willtell her when she is a little calmer. "

Dirk, filledwith compassion, begged her to take the message at once.

"It maycure her. I beseech you to ask her now. "

With a faintsmile of pity, the nurse went back into the room. We heard her low voice, andthen, in a voice I did not recognise the answer:

"No. No.No. "

The nurse cameout again and shook her head.

"Was thatshe who spoke then?" I asked. "Her voice sounded so strange. "

"Itappears that her vocal cords have been burnt by the acid. "

戴尔克做了个很奇怪的手势，好象他的两只手同身体不发生关系，自己在挥动似的。

“你能不能告诉她，如果她想见什么人的话，我可以把那人带来？我只希望使她快活。”

护士用她那双宁静、慈祥的眼睛望着戴尔克，这双眼睛曾经看到过人世的一切恐怖和痛苦，但是因为那里面装的是一个没有罪恶的世界的幻景，所以她的目光是清澈的。

“等她心情平静一些的时候我会告诉她的。”

戴尔克心头充满了无限悲悯，请求她立刻把这句话说给她听。

“也许这会治好她的病的。我求求你现在就去问她吧。”

护士的脸上泛起一丝怜悯的笑容，走进病室。我们听到她低声说了两句什么，接着就是一个我辨认不出的声音在回答：

“不，不，不。”

护士走出来，摇了摇头。

“刚才是她在说话吗？”我问。“她的嗓音全变了。”

“她的声带似乎被酸液烧坏了。”

I scarcely knowhow we got through that day. Stroeve could not bear to be alone, and Iexhausted myself in efforts to distract him. I took him to the Louvre, and hepretended to look at pictures, but I saw that his thoughts were constantly withhis wife. I forced him to eat, and after luncheon I induced him to lie down,but he could not sleep. He accepted willingly my invitation to remain for a fewdays in my apartment. I gave him books to read, but after a page or two hewould put the book down and stare miserably into space. During the evening weplayed innumerable games of piquet, and bravely, not to disappoint my efforts,he tried to appear interested. Finally I gave him a draught, and he sank intouneasy slumber.

When we wentagain to the hospital we saw a nursing sister. She told us that Blanche seemeda little better, and she went in to ask if she would see her husband. We heardvoices in the room in which she lay, and presently the nurse returned to saythat the patient refused to see anyone. We had told her that if she refused tosee Dirk the nurse was to ask if she would see me, but this she refused also.Dirk's lips trembled.

"I darenot insist, " said the nurse. "She is too ill. Perhaps in a day ortwo she may change her mind. "

"Is thereanyone else she wants to see?" asked Dirk, in a voice so low it was almosta whisper.

"She saysshe only wants to be left in peace. "

我几乎说不清这一天我们是怎么过的了。施特略夫没人陪着根本不成，我想尽办法把他的思想岔开，因而弄得自己也疲劳不堪。我带他到卢佛尔宫去，他假装在欣赏图画，但是我看得出来他的思想一刻也没有离开他的妻子。我硬逼着他吃了一点东西；午饭以后，我又劝他躺下休息，但是他一丝睡意也没有。我留他在我的公寓住几天，他欣然接受了我的邀请。我找了几本书给他看，他只翻看一两页就把书放下，凄凄惨惨地茫然凝视着半空。吃过晚饭以后我们玩了无数局皮克牌，为了不叫我失望，他强自打起精神，装作玩得津津有味的样子。最后我让他喝了一口药水，尽管他睡得并不安宁，总算入了梦乡。

当我们再次去医院的时候，见到了一个女护士。她告诉我们勃朗什看上去好了一些。她走进病房，问她是否愿意见自己的丈夫。我们听到从勃朗什住的屋子里传出来的话语声，没过多久护士便走出来，告诉我们病人拒绝会见任何来探视她的人。我们事前已经同护士讲过，如果病人不愿见戴尔克，护士还可以问她一下愿意不愿意见我，但是病人也同样回绝了。戴尔克的嘴唇抖动起来。

“我不敢过分逼她，”护士说，“她病得很厉害。再过一两天也许她会改变主意的。”

“她想见什么人吗？”戴尔克问，他说话的声音非常低，几乎象是耳语。

“她说她只求不要有人打搅她。”

But when wearrived at the hospital, a gaunt, cheerless building, the mere sight of whichwas enough to make one's heart sick, and after being directed from thisofficial to that, up endless stairs and through long, bare corridors, found thedoctor in charge of the case, we were told that the patient was too ill to seeanyone that day. The doctor was a little bearded man in white, with an offhandmanner. He evidently looked upon a case as a case, and anxious relatives as anuisance which must be treated with firmness. Moreover, to him the affair wascommonplace; it was just an hysterical woman who had quarrelled with her loverand taken poison; it was constantly happening. At first he thought that Dirkwas the cause of the disaster, and he was needlessly brusque with him. When Iexplained that he was the husband, anxious to forgive, the doctor looked at himsuddenly, with curious, searching eyes. I seemed to see in them a hint ofmockery; it was true that Stroeve had the head of the husband who is deceived.The doctor faintly shrugged his shoulders.

"There isno immediate danger, " he said, in answer to our questioning. "Onedoesn't know how much she took. It may be that she will get off with a fright.Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love, but generally they takecare not to succeed. It's generally a gesture to arouse pity or terror in theirlover. "

There was inhis tone a frigid contempt. It was obvious that to him Blanche Stroeve was onlya unit to be added to the statistical list of attempted suicides in the city ofParis during the current year. He was busy, and could waste no more time on us.He told us that if we came at a certain hour next day, should Blanche bebetter, it might be possible for her husband to see her.

终于到了医院——一座凄清阴惨的建筑物，一看见就让人心里发凉。我们从一个办公室被支到另一个办公室，爬上数不尽的楼梯，穿过走不到头儿的光秃秃的走廊，最后找到主治的医生，但是我们却被告诉说，病人健康状况太坏，这一天不能接见任何探视的人。同我们讲话的这个医生蓄着胡须、身材矮小，穿着一身白衣服，态度一点也不客气。他显然只把病人当作病人，把焦急不安的亲属当作惹厌的东西，毫无通融的余地。此外，对他说来，这类事早已司空见惯；这只不过是一个歇斯底里的女人同爱人吵了嘴、赌气服了毒而已，这是经常发生的事。最初他还以为戴尔克是罪魁祸首，毫无必要地顶撞了他几句。在我向他解释了戴尔克是病人的丈夫、渴望宽恕她以后，医生突然用炯炯逼人的好奇目光打量起他来。我好象在医生的目光里看到一丝挪揄的神色；施特略夫的长相一望而知是个受老婆欺骗的窝囊汉子。医生把肩膀微微一耸。“目前没有什么危险，”他回答我们的询问说，“还不知道她吞服了多少。也很可能只是一场虚惊。女人们不断为了爱情而自寻短见，但是一般说来她们总是做得很小心，不让自杀成为事实。通常这只是为了引起她们情人的怜悯或者恐怖而作的一个姿态。”

他的语气里有一种冷漠、轻蔑的味道。对他说来，勃朗什·施特略夫显然不过是即将列入巴黎这一年自杀未遂的统计表中的一个数字。医生非常忙，不可能为了我们浪费自己的时间。他告诉我们，如果我们在第二天某一个时刻来，假如勃朗什好一些，她的丈夫是可以见到她的。

He paused aminute, and I saw that what he had to tell me was very hard to say.

"When Iwent she wouldn't speak to me. She told them to send me away. I swore that Iforgave her everything, but she wouldn't listen. She tried to beat her headagainst the wall. The doctor told me that I mustn't remain with her. She kepton saying, `Send him away!' I went, and waited in the studio. And when theambulance came and they put her on a stretcher, they made me go in the kitchenso that she shouldn't know I was there. "

While I dressed-- for Stroeve wished me to go at once with him to the hospital -- he told methat he had arranged for his wife to have a private room, so that she might atleast be spared the sordid promiscuity of a ward. On our way he explained to mewhy he desired my presence; if she still refused to see him, perhaps she wouldsee me. He begged me to repeat to her that he loved her still; he wouldreproach her for nothing, but desired only to help her; he made no claim onher, and on her recovery would not seek to induce her to return to him; shewould be perfectly free.

他沉吟了一会儿，我看出来他下面要告诉我的一番话是很难启齿的。

“我去了以后她不同我讲话。她告诉他们叫我走开。我向她发誓，不管她做过什么事我都原谅她，但是她根本不听我讲话。她把头往墙上撞。医生叫我不要待在她身边。她不住口地叫喊：‘叫他走开！’我只好离开她身边，在画室里等着。等救护车来了，他们把她抬上担架的时候，他们叫我躲进厨房去，让她以为我已经离开那里了。”

在我穿衣服的当儿——因为施特略夫要我立刻同他一起到医院去——，他告诉我他已经在医院为他的妻子安排了一个单间病室，免得她住在人群混杂、空气污浊的大病房。走在路上的时候他又向我解释，为什么他要我陪他去——如果她仍然拒绝同他见面，也许她愿意见我。他求我转告她，他仍然爱她，他丝毫也不责怪她，只希望能帮她一点儿忙。他对她没有任何要求，在她病好以后决不劝说她回到自己身边，她是绝对自由的。

I clenched myhands, seeking to control my irritation. I attempted a smile.

"I'msorry. Take your time. Don't hurry, there's a good fellow. "

His round blueeyes behind the spectacles were ghastly with terror. The magnifying-glasses hewore distorted them.

"When theconcierge went up this morning to take a letter she could get no answer to herring. She heard someone groaning. The door wasn't locked, and she went in.Blanche was lying on the bed. She'd been frightfully sick. There was a bottleof oxalic acid on the table. "

Stroeve hid hisface in his hands and swayed backwards and forwards, groaning.

"Was sheconscious?"

"Yes. Oh,if you knew how she's suffering! I can't bear it. I can't bear it. "

His voice roseto a shriek.

"Damn itall, you haven't got to bear it, " I cried impatiently. "She's got tobear it. "

"How canyou be so cruel?"

"What haveyou done?"

"They sentfor a doctor and for me, and they told the police. I'd given the conciergetwenty francs, and told her to send for me if anything happened. "

我握紧了拳头，想把心里的怒气压下去。我努力摆出一副笑脸来。

“对不起。你慢慢说吧，不用着急。我不怪罪你。”

他的近视镜片后面的一对又圆又蓝的眼睛因为恐惧叫人看着非常可怕。他戴的放大镜片使这双眼睛变形了。

“今天早晨看门人上楼去给他们送信，按了半天门铃也没有人回答。她听见屋子里有人呻吟。门没有上闩，她就走进去了。勃朗什在床上躺着，情况非常危险。桌子上摆着一瓶草酸。”

施特略夫用手捂着脸，一边前后摇晃着身体，一边呻吟。

“她那时候还有知觉吗？”

“有。啊，如果你知道她多么痛苦就好了。我真受不了。我真受不了。”

他的声音越来越高，成了一种尖叫。

“他妈的，你有什么受不了的，”我失去耐心地喊起来，“她这是自作自受。”

“你怎么能这么残忍呢？”

“你后来做什么了？”

“他们叫了医生，也把我找去，还报告了警察。我以前给过看门人二十法郎，告诉她如果发生了什么事就通知我。”

He mademovements with his lips as though he were speaking, but no sound issued fromthem. He gibbered like an idiot. My heart thumped against my ribs, and, I donot know why, I flew into a temper.

"For God'ssake, collect yourself, man, " I said. "What on earth are you talkingabout?"

He madedespairing gestures with his hands, but still no words came from his mouth. Hemight have been struck dumb. I do not know what came over me; I took him by theshoulders and shook him. Looking back, I am vexed that I made such a fool ofmyself; I suppose the last restless nights had shaken my nerves more than Iknew.

"Let mesit down, " he gasped at length.

I filled aglass with St. Galmier, and gave it to him to drink. I held it to his mouth asthough he were a child. He gulped down a mouthful, and some of it was spilt onhis shirt-front.

"Who'skilled herself?"

I do not knowwhy I asked, for I knew whom he meant. He made an effort to collect himself.

"They hada row last night. He went away. "

"Is shedead?"

"No;they've taken her to the hospital. "

"Then whatare you talking about?" I cried impatiently. "Why did you say she'dkilled herself?"

"Don't becross with me. I can't tell you anything if you talk to me like that. "

他的嘴唇动了动，好象在说什么，但是什么声音也没有发出来。他象个白痴似地胡乱地说了一些没有意义的话。我的一颗心在胸腔里扑腾腾地乱跳，不知为什么，我突然发起火来。

“看在上帝面上，你镇定点儿好不好？”我说，“你究竟在说些什么？”

他的两只手做了几个绝望的姿势，仍然说不出一句整话来。他好象突然受到巨大的惊吓，变成哑巴了。我不知道自己为什么火冒三丈，我抓着他的肩膀拼命地摇撼。我猜想前几夜我一直休息不好，叫我的神经也崩溃了。

“让我坐一会儿，”最后他上气不接下气地说。

我给他倒了一杯圣加米叶酒。我把杯子端到他的嘴边好象在喂一个孩子。他咕咚一声喝了一口，有好些洒在衬衫前襟上。

“谁死了？”

我不懂为什么我还要问这句话，因为我完全知道他说的是谁。他挣扎着想使自己平静下来。

“昨天夜里他们吵嘴了。他离开家了。”

“她已经死了吗？”

“没有，他们把她送到医院去了。”

“那么你说的是什么？”我不耐烦地喊起来。“为什么你说她死了？”

“别生我的气。你要是这样同我讲话，我就什么也告诉不了你了。”

But though Iwas no less convinced than Stroeve that the connection between Strickland andBlanche would end disastrously, I did not expect the issue to take the tragicform it did. The summer came, breathless and sultry, and even at night therewas no coolness to rest one's jaded nerves. The sun-baked streets seemed togive back the heat that had beat down on them during the day, and thepassers-by dragged their feet along them wearily. I had not seen Strickland forweeks. Occupied with other things, I had ceased to think of him and hisaffairs. Dirk, with his vain lamentations, had begun to bore me, and I avoidedhis society. It was a sordid business, and I was not inclined to trouble myselfwith it further.

One morning Iwas working. I sat in my Pyjamas. My thoughts wandered, and I thought of thesunny beaches of Brittany and the freshness of the sea. By my side was theempty bowl in which the concierge had brought me my cafe au lait and thefragment of croissant which I had not had appetite enough to eat. I heard theconcierge in the next room emptying my bath. There was a tinkle at my bell, andI left her to open the door. In a moment I heard Stroeve's voice asking if Iwas in. Without moving, I shouted to him to come. He entered the room quickly,and came up to the table at which I sat.

"She'skilled herself, " he said hoarsely.

"What doyou mean?" I cried, startled.

虽然我同施特略夫一样也认为思特里克兰德同勃朗什的关系将以一场灾难收场，我却没有料到这件事会演成这样一出悲剧。夏天来了，天气郁闷得令人喘不过气来，连夜间也没有一丝凉意，使人们疲劳的神经能够得到一点休息。被太阳晒得炙热的街道好象又把白天吸收的热气散发回来；街头行人疲劳不堪地拖着两只脚。我又有好几个星期没有见到思特里克兰德了。因为忙于其他事务，我甚至连这个人同他们那档子事都不去想了。戴尔克一见到我就长吁短叹，开始叫人生厌；我尽量躲着他不同他在一起。我感到整个这件事龌龊不堪，我不想再为它伤脑筋了。

一天早上，我正在工作，身上还披着睡衣。但是我的思绪却游移不定，浮想联翩。我想到布里坦尼阳光灿烂的海滨和清澈的海水。我身边摆着女看门人给我端来的盛咖啡牛奶的空碗和一块吃剩的月芽形小面包。我的胃口很不好，没能吃完。隔壁的屋子里，女看门人正在把我浴盆里的水放掉。突然，门铃叮铃铃地响起来，我让她去给我开门。不大的工夫我就听到施特略夫的声音，打听我在不在家。我大声招呼他进来，而没有离开我的座位。施特略夫慌慌张张地走了进来，一直走到我坐的桌子前面。

“她死了，”他声音嘶哑地说。

“你说什么？”我吃惊地喊叫起来。