Health and technical malfunctions abound this week, so we’re digging out a classic episode from the extensive Zero Archives for you to enjoy… today!

The Spooky Month continues, and this week it’s our spookiest trick yet – fixing a character! Namely, good ol’ living vampire Michael “Morbius” Morbius! Now Morbius is a perfectly fine science vampire, but for some reason we just can’t sink our teeth into the character as much as we’d like. So Merk, Bry ’n Kyle all reinvent the character in their own weird ways! So bite into this episode for some royal vampire intrigue, a cavern of underground monsters, and all the Australian blood and quokkas you can handle! Bwah! Plasma!!

But, oh no! The DC Fandome has descended on our podcast once more! To escape, we must discuss a bunch of the new DC movie teasers and decide which one looks the coolest! And we’re running out of air in here! Listen fast!

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This week was supposed to be a Lightning Round, but we had so much fun playing a couple of games that we decided to just make that the episode. Yeah, Two Games!! This is a fun one, so we hope you enjoy!

GAME ONE: It’s another round of games based around Merk’s collection of Impel 1991 Marvel Universe trading cards! In the game we’re apparently still calling “Battle Holes”, we all choose five randomly cards and take rotating turns playing them against the last winning card in a character vs. character battle — but while the included character stats may play into the winner, sometimes it comes down to the best argument!

GAME TWO: We play “Amateur Editors”, an ALL-NEW GAME (sry caps lock) where each of us randomly draws the name of a writer, an artist, and a comic title or character from a bag, then we all have to to cook up a pitch for what that comic collaboration would look like! Imagine: Alan Moore and Dan Mora on “Afterlife with Archie”! Gail Simone and Erica Henderson on “Sacage Dragon”! Frank Miller and Rob Leifeld on “Garfield”!

All this and Marvel’s Betty Grable, too!

[IMAGE TO COME]

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Could someone be a REAL Batman?

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AI is coming for all of the coolest, most creative jobs. For a lot of folks, it’s already here, and that includes people working in the comic industry. This week, we try to take AI seriously, and discuss just what is going on in the industry with AI use in comics. Everything from the response of comic cons to the artists who use it (and have a variety of responses to being called out for it) to platforms that exist now which empower people to never have to learn how to draw, because working to develop a skill is for losers.

But before all that, Kyle tells you to read Marvel All-On-One, where The Thing really wallops some palookas, AND flies a space plane!

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Hey folks, we are taking a week off due to scheduling/plague-related issues. But! Wait! Where are you going?! We have a Classic Zero Issues to make up for it, because we hate the idea of anyone being without us for any length of time. This time, it’s Episode 273: Kraven the Deli Owner, from January of 2021! Here’s the original post:

QUITTERS!! The lot of ’em!!! That’s what superheroes are! And that’s what we’re talking about this week. Can you think of a hero that hasn’t, even for just a short bit, called it quits? It’s a small list. From Tony Stark and the sauce, Daredevil and his law career, Wonder Woman getting sick of life off Paradise Island, to Spidey and…. well…. every five minutes, heroes love to quit. We delve deep. Who quit and became a blind bartender? Who quit and became Black Beard? And so many more. Plus we talk news! There are comic cons going on soon….. uh….. ok. Black Panther delays. Jeff Lemire’s Sweet Tooth show. And Merk delves into manga (a new thing for him) in a ‘read this now’. So don’t quit now! You’re almost there! Sit back, relax, click that button and listen to Kraven the Deli Owner serve up a lil’ bite of deligh …. ah… quit it.

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We’re talkin’ comics ’bout real people! Whether they be classy graphic novel biographies, tacky celebrity cash-in issues, wacky cameo appearances, bizarre “parody” comics from the ’80s, and almost too much more. We dig into graphic novel biographies about André the Giant, Harry Houdini, and uh… Hitler (don’t worry, it sure ain’t complimentary!). We explore when real-life historical figures are reimagined in wild comic-book ways like Hellboy’s Rasputin, or the sci-fi insanity of Manhattan Projects. And sometimes a celebrity officially crosses over with a superhero’s world, like Superman fighting Muhammad Ali, The Avengers being guests on the second-wildest episode of David Letterman, or The Beatles’ strangely prolific adventures in Marvel Comics. Plus those weird cash-in “parody” books like the extremely ’80s “Reagan’s Raiders” from Solson Productions, or the never-ending bibliography of BlueWave and/or TidalWave Productions, and the time Charles Barkley dunked on Godzilla and then possibly revealed he’s immortal. Plus! A fun li’l discussion about the horror anthology series “Hello Darkness”!

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Ka-zar! Y’know… Ka-zar!

Plus we talk about that goofball, Dean Cain. It’s super…. weird.

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We sincerely hope you’ve brought your popsicles this week, because it’s about to get scalding hot in the sun chamber! It’s August Audness, which means we’ve picked a bunch of comic book characters, and are making them fight for our collective amusement. This go around, they’ve all got heat-and-light-and-whatnot powers, in order to answer the question that Andre 3000 was cowardly to ask: what’s hotter than being hot? ICE HOT??

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It’s official: The X-Men are coming to the MCU, and they’re looking at a young cast to kick things off! And that means it’s time for a ZERO ISSUES CASTING CALL! (which used to be a thing in Wizard Magazine, but that was cancelled years ago, so tough rocks!) We’ve got a list of 22 prospective cinematic mutants and we all have an actor and/or actress or two chosen for each role, except for a couple where someone was just stumped! We’re no Andrea Romanos or Sarah Finn Baileys, but let’s give this a shot!

Choose your Wolverine: Daniel Radcliffe, pro wrestler Pete Dunn, or Pablo Schreiber? Could Cillian Murphy be convinced to shave his head to be Professor X? Was Jayme Lawson born to be Storm? Could Tom Lennon bring his dry wit and new-boot-goofin’ to Hank McCoy? Is it possible to cast a better Magik than Anya Taylor Joy? Could we have a First Class of up-and-coming actors playing Cyclops, Phoenix, Iceman, The Beast, and Angel? Can you imagine a Skarsgård as Nightcrawler and/or Mr. Sinister? Should Adrien Brody, Michael Shannon or Mads Mikkelsen wear the helmet of Magneto? All this and many more! To me, my fan-casted X-Men!

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