This week mum spoils the heck out of Downton Abbey: A New Era, aka Posh People on Tour. She also reviews The Northman, a flick about sexy Vikings ("It was all codswallop as far as I'm concerned").

This week mum has seen Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum in comedy adventure movie The Lost City ("it's better than Romancing the Stone because Magic Mike is in it"). She also reviews Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, Warner Bros' latest attempt to milk the Harry Potter franchise for a few more quid ("I tried to go to sleep").

This week mum has seen Colin Firth in Second World War espionage thriller Operation Mincemeat ("he doesn't look like Mr Darcy anymore"). She also reviews Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Cage in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent ("it's funny, it's weird – well done, Nicholas").

This week mum has seen Best Picture winner Coda ("the girl's an expert fish gutter") and Netflix thriller The Weekend Away ("it's just shit").

This week mum has seen Jared Leto as a vampire/superhero in Morbius ("I loved the CGI") and Netflix's Arctic disaster movie, Against the Ice ("I'll just tell you that in the end, they're saved").

This week mum has seen Jake Gyllenhaal play "a naughty boy" in Ambulance. She also reviews Windfall starring Jesse Plemons, "The feller from Argos" (she means Fargo).

This week mum has seen The Phantom of the Open, a British comedy about golf. She also reviews Benedict "Cumbo" Cumberbatch in The Power of the Dog ("It's sweet and sour: like a Chinese meal").

This week mum has seen British romcom Ali & Ava. She also reviews Netflix's Munich: The Edge of War.

This week mum reviews the new and very innovative dark take on everyone's favourite goth oligarch, The Batman ("It's 5 minutes off 3 hours"). She also reviews The Adam project, the latest action comedy from Ryan Reynolds ("That feller who burnt his face and had to wear a costume").

This week mum has seen Marry Me, a romcom starring J-Lo and that volleyball from Castaway. She also reviews her first Jean-Pierre Jeunet film and unfortunately it's his new stinker, Bigbug.