By si3geHobbies
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episodes

  • Just Kramen Things or The Birth of BirdNautz
    Daryl and Stug leave the Fairy pond flying. They run into a flock of geese but Daryl burns them with his fire breath The GM has a Corona fit during quick maths and the geese crisp away and fall to the ground. Volkorn continues his crafting in Malo's mansion. Dranas rudely contemplates what would happen if a mage's mansion was created inside of another mage's mansion. Volkorn continues to craft with impressive skill (high rolls). Daryl waits outside while Stug enters Malo's mansion and is greeted by Zeebo. Daryl tells Stug to tell Volkorn about Kramen but Volkorn refuses interruption. Daryl messages Volkorn to come outside and is interrupted anyway. They discuss the future, kill Kramen? Ask Malo? Ask Malo. Malo tells them that marked ones are kept safe by Kramen because they are held prisoner by him. He rules them under an iron fist. Volkorn quickly questions Malo's whereabouts during the Destruction of Durandal. Malo refutes any collusion in the act. Malo continues to explain that Kramen marks people at birth and they become one of his followers. Volkorn goes back to his crafting and Malo comments that it looks "pretty rad." Daryl visits Volkorn while he crafts and spends some time with his brother RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT He converses with his brother and makes Volkorn uncomfortable but he continues to craft. Nautz questions whether he will be able to catch fireflies again. Yes. SO many fireflies. The sun begins to set as Dranas goes to the edge of a pier . the lake is crystal clear, fish swim in it. as darkness approaches you see a slight glow emanate from the fish. the lake has steam rising from it. there are other elvish folk there as well as women and children skipping rocks. there are huts and trees with people crafting items. shops, houses, etc. Dranas looks for a food vendor and finds 4 or 5, buys food and then retires to his room at the Gaia Inn. Back to Daryl, the conversation continues. His brother tells his account of the Destruction of Durandal. Mom and Dad tried to comfort him, they knew it was the end. The fire was everywhere very quickly. Daryl explains how Nautz was saved and our plans of birddom. Daryl then reads some Pirates of the Malestorm to him. We then fade to black and return to Volkorn and his crafting. who is right next to Daryl. Back to Dranas, he hears a knock at the door. A couple elf dudes, one of them is Chadwick from the weapons shop, his friend is Golias. They giggle quite a bit after a fart is heard. Chadwick and Golias ask to see Dranas's arm and confirm that he is unmarked. All Elves should be marked at birth. Kramen's domain is underground, he protects the marked ones as long as they remain in the forest. The mark allows Kramen to see where his population is at and sends a beast of hell after those who attempt to flee. Chadwick commends Dranas on his fine elvish blade. As he handles the blade it does not burn him but it does seem to begin smoldering the handle recently affixed to it.Dranas questions why the blade only burns or harms him and not Chadwick and Golias. Chad and Gol believe that no more elves exist outside the forest. Not since the Dragons burned everything down. GolChad can only translate a small portion of it and they are both shocked to hear that Dranas found it laying on the ground. Chadwick reveals that when one of them dies, they are put into a pod and they grow into a tree. every tree in the forest is a member of our past. Chadwick believes its ok to skin people in the name of science. Dranas concocts a plan to feed a person until they become obese and then encourage massive weight loss so they can harvest the additional skin left over to make a handle. Was the sword made by the royal army? Dranas asks to test another idea, to use Gabinoid. Back at Daryl's mansion Volkorn reads scripture now that his crafting appears to be complete. Volkorn needs the blood of an innocent. The party discusses what that means and whose blood may be sufficient. Volkorn uses his own blood PRIMO OCTU NICTAY and slides the dick in. It begins to shine and Nautz begins to attempt speech which proves difficult. Nautz suddenly exclaims that he has to take an ethereal shit because he does not trust his farts. Daryl refreshes the mansion and much of the party retires to their rooms. We decide to then take a small break but never return to the game. MP3
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  • Hunting party scares or Fairy pond bathing
    daryl teleports to stug in the cold he changes to a dragon and they fly Dranas crafts a handle while zeebo watches on he wakes up Malo with his loud ass armor Malo casts silence on him he looks through Malo's books Stug and Daryl flyyyyyy they come upon a farm HAIL AND WELL MET the father pisses himself stug corkscrew leaps onto a horse that has strayed, he slips and falls into the snow he expertly catches up and remounts the mare. he then returns her to the farm Stug helps the daughters care for their father while Daryl sticks his head in the window Esteris is the daughter bandits sometimes come steal their crops. its middle of winter. when spring breaks they will return. Daryl makes Esteris a teleport scroll and hands her a pre-prepped one. he tells her about Durandal Stug finishes fixing their wagon cares for the man they then go hunting and Daryl finds a buck one of the girls lifts it easily they go off to hunt and find a fairy pond Stug finds Treyu, a friend fairy, then bathes in the pond. more speak of the mark and kramen only those that are righteous caN SEE HIM only those that will succeed him can beseech him only those that are chosen will surpass him
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  • Arts and crafts with Volkorn and Dranas! or Stugs new torture friends!
    Volkorn listens to loud music and is asked to turn it down Dranas comes upon a travel-forge left behind by an elvish troop with a half-craft black elvish blade lying next to it. It burns at the touch. Gavin and Daryl both look it over. Daryl sees the symbol of Yurlral on the base of the weapon and senses Druidic evocation powers and dark purple runes... In Yuelral's passion cast down upon thee,Those of the living, those of the flesh, Stug tortures Azaelia and receives a coin for his efforts, markings etched in common.sworn duty achaekek praying mantis picturethe one who walks in blood, deity of assassinations in death. MP3
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  • Dranas Mars, Private Investigator or The Weight of Loving and Losing
    Stug rejoins the Tor'Ar army to check in on "work" and is offered a chance to participate in some leisurely torture by Lieutenant Cadaver. He gives details of where and when to meet him if he's interested. Tomorrow, NorthWest of camp. Dig a hole. Daryl browses fresh noodle ale titties as he finds this small village in the wastelands to feel almost like it's own vast country when browsing it's inner workings, but eventually finds a book to read and some glowweed to help persuade Malo for more information. Dranas bears gifts of cupcakes and platinum to the BrokeBack Orphanage and continues his research back at the Archives. There he finds the name "Kramen" of the forest who speaks of killing those who fail to bear a "mark". Conversations of those who bear a mark ring familiar to Dranas as he recalls his latest meeting with the ROD's repeated acquaintance, the Blind man and Babe. Curiously when Dranas asks around town and investigates several taverns; his presence could not be validated by anyone in the area, as if he went unseen by the rest of the public. Daryl's search for answers in Malo find only Zeebo standing in Malo's doorway. Zeebo communicates that Malo is out with no definite time of return so Daryl resigns to awaiting his return there. They pass the time by reading Daryl's new book (which may possibly be homo-erotic due to a misunderstanding in the name) as Zeebo thoroughly burns some popcorn to enjoy. It's not long before Daryl's message stone calls him away. It's an emergency. The Elvish army invaded the spider-caves. Delilah is dead. MP3
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  • Welcome Back, Malo or I Dream of Lich's
    Reawakened, Malo is sad to hear that his old friend Gearsy has passed away due to wildly unforeseen circumstances. He explains to the ROD that the dots on the map they found were points of interest. Chances of great fortune, or great evil. Daryl takes Malo on a Dragon ride and becomes very confused about who is and who is not riding him. he laughs hysterically into the night. Volkorn wanders up to Malo's bar and discovers a secret cubby full of gems and diamonds. Stug and Daryl go bear hunting and Stug keeps a carcass to fulfill a debt to Dranas. They then investigate a camp fire and meet the Ethereal Scouts, an elvish troop who had made camp for the night. Volkorn studies books about song birds and transferring life into gems. Dranas cooks and eats then reads his helacious cook book. STOP Lich talk time. Dranas turns up his nose at breakfast and cooks his own decadence-free monster quiche. Everyone heads to the Archives of Nethys! Dranas begins his search for information on the Bob the Babayaga Swamp Bog Lich. Stug finalizes his application process while Daryl inquires about beginning his own. Daryl and Tommy Knocker hit it off as they admire Tommy's action figure collection together. MP3
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  • The Dashing of Volkorns Ambition or The Return of Legacy
    Hot off the heels of clearing a Torag dungeon,  Dranas collects 1000 silver from Clarence Dropbottom for the trouble. Clarence then leaves with plans of snuff and unconsciousness.Dranas pays for the gang to stay at a nearby inn. Heal Checks abound as Stug makes immediate use of the Inn’s incidental policy when he rips up the flooring in order to sleep in the earth. Gaelic reunites with the ROD and catches up on information. Daryl awakes near the remains of Cayden’s Beard, only rubble and ash are left. His first vision was of Ronda, wearing a UFA armband, tending to him. Upon learning the danger of the area, Daryl teleports them away. The 2 lovers plan a secret rendezvous point should trouble ever arise and Daryl kisses her goodbye as he goes back out in search of his comrades. Later, in Daryl’s mansion, Volkorn’s pleads for guidance are answered in a dream. Gary and Larry in a bar, Brokeback bandits in Tor’ar Castle, Malo’s Mansion, and more. DreamKeeper Volkorn laments that he can only analyze the dreams of OTHERS and not his own. He awakes with a sense of guilt. Upon self-reflection Volkorn decides to seek out the cadaver of the child they witnessed die. 3rd Shift officer Carl Withers happily guides Volkorn past the security doors into the holding area. They happen to pass by the cell that contains a man, face down, with a dagger protruding from his back, the handle black and curved, seems to have the texture of wood but Carl reassures Volkorn that it is made of tusk. Volkorn offers help in information gathering and then casts “speak with dead”. The cadaver invokes the name of Brokeback bandits but Carl is quick to dismiss this information as ramblings. This may be why they keep passing you over for promotion Carl. This right here. They then make it to the coroners lab where Volkorn successfully revives the boy who later reunites with his mother. Poses are struck! Dranas is amazing! That confidence. That glow. That charisma. That gleam off his armor. Damn!k Goliath Mudbutt? Much shopping is done as Dranas enchants his bastard sword, Stug and Volkorn visit Wanda’s Wonders, and Daryl assists Stug at testing his new bracers. They then decide that it’s likely time to resurrect Malo and teleport back to his mansion. Zeebo quickly corrects them. They are already a day late. Zeebo presents a finger, enough to resurrect Malo. The team has now reunited with their long dead mentor and feel despair as they have not accomplished what Malo has expected of them. They then hound him for information concerning mysteries they have long-carried. The Shield? Black Lotus? What happened to you? What next? A Lich? Find out next time. Right here. MP3
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  • Walls and Rage, a Hammer and a Book or Swallowed Some Whole, The Earth Had Shook.
         We rejoin what's left of the ROD in the depth's of this place of Torag-worship as Dranas and Stug remain standing amongst the carnage befallen them. Stug utilizes a Life Staff on Volkorn who lay lifeless, beard full of green vomit-ichor. He immediately restores himself further via his own magic spells.      Stug finds the other monocle in Sweet's prison pocket and the party decides to carry Sweet Chuck's body as they progress forward. Dranas hears a sound and investigates a dark area but not before donning his trusty 'ol light cap and then cautiously presses on.      Beyond the darkened ingress, our 3 living adventurers find a wide expanse of a room that seems to have a walkway defined in it's center. The sides of this walkway are aligned with large sculptures of earth elementals, 4 on each side. At the end, a podium with a hammer sat atop it and following that, an even larger elemental statue, seemingly standing guard in it's shadow.      The party continues further.      Volkorn feels the unmistakable seduction of destiny as he bravely steps closer, reaches out and confidently grips the handle of this unknown weapon with his calloused dwarven hands. He knew that despite any consequences that may arise, Dranas had dared him to do it, and it was therefore, inevitable. Those consequences would soon be realized as initiatives are rolled, and all 9 statues begin to animate and it's obvious to everyone in the room; they hate Guitar Hero. It's just clickclickclickclickclick.      Stug rages. The elementals close in. Volkorn thinks quickly and commands the party to focus on the largest foe while he erects walls to keep the mob at bay. An elemental conjures the spirit of rabbit within him and jumps to grab Volkorn. It succeeds but finds himself quickly grasping at air when Volkorn dimensional hops away. Volkorn then summons air elementals to assist and an overwhelming force from a tactically focused ROD brings the beast to his knees, and then down, on top of Dranas. The remaining enemies fall one by one until the last takes Sweets and his few possessions under the earth and effectively leaves him buried. Amongst the death and destruction caused, Volkorn discovers and acquires a book. He then drops it. Dranas quickly picks it up, dusts it off, peruses a few pages, and exclaims "this is the gospel of Torag!" Volkorn then quickly takes it back and stores it in his bag.      Daryl awakes in the care of Ronda. He begs her for water and scrys the party immediately. Her persuasions do not go unnoticed but fail to match a debt owed that Daryl feels towards his compatriots and new family. He makes a promise to return to Ronda as Daryl teleports back into the mortal fray.      A familiar Chromatic Red Dragon breathes fire across enemies at Volkorns command as Stug releases a volley of trips and Dranas screams for help. Teamwork wins the day as the party climbs atop Karstim who takes a brisk victory lap to celebrate the sound victory over all their foes.      Karstim soon fosters a healthy suspicion as the behavior of his now longtime friends, feels wrong. An adoration from Volkorn that has prior-to never been hinted at, a lack of "cunt" in Dranas's speech, and the assertion that our previous goals are no longer of concern to any of them. They impress upon Daryl, after landing in the middle of town back at Sangra, that they would rather pursue dreams of working a bar in town and retire from the life of an adventurer in favor of safety and relaxation. Volkorn then shocks Daryl by imprinting on his sperm and asking for her hand in marriage. Dranas expresses a strong desire to make what is known as a "Champion Turkey". A new location for Cayden's Beard appears to be underway. Volkorn successfully transfers the soul of Nautz into a clockwork songbird just like we had planned! This is amazing! ...      Volkorn, Dranas, and Stug use the chaos stone to scry Daryl. They find him; motionless, amongst gravel, dead. MP3
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  • The Tenacious Temple Of Torag Or Death Comes To Those Who Adventure
    Further! Further they descend into what once was Dwarven mines, now quickly becomes something of far greater concern. Inscriptions on the wall tell a visual tale of giant earth elementals that roam the land, worshiping Torag, "Father of Creation", a deity whom this temple bears service to. His symbol; an upside-down hammer. The Temples walls and floors are peppered with various fissures from which delicate crystals burst forth. Crystals that glow from light refracted through the fissures, owing sources unknown (outside? or a hidden light source perhaps?). They prove brittle and worthless in coin as they crumble at light-touches like sugar. The party is immediately descended upon as they enter. A surprise attack round greets a battle-ready party as Stug takes out his whips, Dranas emits a holy aura (the best aura ever), Daryl conjures an aqueous orb, Sweets struggles to..., and Volkorn probably did something too. The party was in good spirits as it seemed things were going to turn out pretty great! Things would in fact, turn out, decidedly NOT great. The first round of combat saw Stug take a fat rip of green-fog that causes him to run from battle, fleeing a hallucinatory snake in his hand, SweetChuck attempting to... , and Daryl confidently chugging a mysterious glowing potion that cost him his life, many times. As Daryl lay dying, Dranas does his best to keep him from danger and continues the offense. Eventually Daryl is able to teleport himself to Caidens Beard. With what strength he can muster, then drags himself upstairs and gives thanks to Lady Luck or Caiden himself as Ronda finds him and takes him in. Stug returns and the other Revengers do not let up, but are met with much cumber as Volkorn finds himself mysteriously in an acidic fog and eventually succumbs to his wounds after a flurry of attacks. SweetChuck meets a similar fate as his attempts to... in battle prove fatal. Dranas is able to finish the battle, kill the plant, and discover, then pull the lever that reveals the next area. So, can the party restore itself to its former glory? Will they descend further? Will SweetChuck.... ? Find out answers to these questions and more. next time. and remember the moisture. MP3
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  • Dream Keeper Volkorn And The Dreams Of Dranas Or Immaterial Minors Menace Mineshaft Miners
    The guys go to Daryl's mansion. Matt is loud as hell while he turns Daryl's mansion into Hell's Kitchen. Volkorn inquires about what it might require to alchemize some strong acid. Dranas has a dream that seems to be a bad omen involving his decisions regarding driders while Ken watches baseball (1hr 23m in about). Dranas explains his dreams to Volkorn and Volkorn gains +1 aliases: The DreamKeeper. Caiden is revealed to have lead Sweets back to the party and Stug notices that a scroll in his possession is rapidly changing colors. (~1:48)Dranas: I'll have sex with it too if it's cute The party heads off to the mines near Sangra. They keep hearing explosions but must wait for the right dwarven NPC's to arrive. While waiting they are introduced to Chad who is a poet and a painter. Volkorn responds that he is a ghost cleanser, and barkeep and king of Caidens Rise. The party then meets: Clarence Dropbottom who comes from a long line of prostitutes. "Explosives are going off on the NE side" he tells Volkorn, but the keeper of dreams is momentarily preoccupied by a 5lb ruby chunk and a 3lb sapphire chunk. He pockets both. Clarence exclaims that nobody alive has seen it attack anybody, insinuating that no one lives to tell the tale. He then speculates that the people of Sangra don't seem to like their kind and treat them poorly. The gunpowder gets wet again. it seems like sabotage. (~3:08), that laugh. The party catches glimpses of the ghost, a little child laughing in the mines. Daryl pulls his magic muscle, becomes fatigued, and Sweets gets naked then approaches. Dranas tries to speak with it but the child runs and falls 35ft into a hole. The floor below him is rusted concrete tile. His body lay lifeless upon it, crippled. Dranas becomes angelic and floats down to heal him but the boy is ground beef and cannot be made steak once again. The party encounters black goop that they make swift work of and Stug offers the idea of setting fire to the next room prior to entering. It pays off as the party discovers a lever on the wall after killing the inhabitants of a trap set to protect the lever from being found. MP3
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  • Social Salad in Sangra or Daryl's Dark Dowager Date
    Revengers arrive at Sangra! A nearby bar quenches their thirst for ale but a waitress overhears some nefarious plans for domination, then Daryl plays it off as LARP'ing. They notice some BBB's sitting down a few tables over. Daryl and Volkorn attempts to listen in on their conversation and realize they're talking about establishing an orphanage in Sangra. Volkorn meets Trisha while Dranas strikes up a conversation with 4 Dwarven Miners. They discuss their workplace in conversation and reveal a ghost problem plagues the mines they work. Dranas offers to look into the problem on the next eve because tonight, they wish to attend a sex-party hosted by the Curator. The Curator welcomes one and all to an extravagant home with many rooms, all available for use to attendees and very much intended to house carnal satiation. Each of the party indulges in the offered services except for Daryl who turns invisible, acts weird, and generally creeps out some of the guests, but the Curator allows him to stay. Daryl eventually becomes bored and ventures out into the city to discover more of what he can about Sangra. He doesn't get far before he hears a beckoning from a nearby alleyway. Upon inspection it appears the alleyway is pitch black and ominously destroys a magically lit stone that he attempts to float into the darkness. Daryl makes a half-hearted futile attempt to let Volkorn know his whereabouts before stepping inside and being instantly teleported away! Daryl finds himself at the door of Brunhilde, the fortuneteller, guided by the Earth, Gaia, and the Stars. Happy to lay eyes upon Daryl she welcomes him into her small home. She explains that she knows he is a dragon, a "pure-hybrid", and is happy to be able to see such a thing in her lifetime. Daryl takes a seat and she tells his fortune. You will be involved in a great calamity and will lose the ones you love. Many will burn. Death will be fire. You can choose to prevent it. If you stay with the short one with a hammer, he will eventually restore your brothers form. She then directs Daryl to a book on a nearby table. Daryl opens it to find a special card, and a glowing red vial that he is instructed to drink when the time is right. Brunhilde then informs Daryl of a new map location before wishing him fortune in his journeys. With that Daryl is teleported back to the alleyway and he heads back to the Curators party. After a quick reunion in the hall outside his room, Volkorn and Dranas are rudely interrupted by both Stug and Daryl as they loudly burst into the room and demand their attention. Daryl explains the encounter with Brunhilde, the fortune, the items, what the future holds for his brother. Volkorn begrudgingly ponders this news as the party sunsets in relaxation and plan to travel with the Dwarven Miners on the morrow to the haunted mines outside Sangra.
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