ok, so you might has notice that it is still I, SIMON the Bulbous, in control of the blog post fingy this weak. you might fink that this means that i aint in charge of the film guide again, but youd be as big a stoopid butt face as kris is. yep, thats rite, i am back baby!!!!!!!!!!"!!$!!!!!! yep, kris thought that he was gonna do tghe filmg uide, but i outsmarted him with my bigger brain, handsom face and suprisingly soft skin. i did the ol' 'stick-some-food-under-a-box-propped-up-with-a-stick-tied-to-a-piece-of-string-and-wait-till-the-animalkris-gets-trapped-and-then-pull-the-string-on-the-stick-hard-so-that-the-stick-comes-away-and-the-box-falls-down-and-then-the-animalkris-cant-get-out' trick. works.every. time. Ok, that was a lie, but Simon was in the studio to talk about the UK box office, new releases in the cinema, and his pick of films on TV for the coming week. Friday Fair Game 7.55pm – 10.00pm Film4+1 Saturday The French Connection 1.15am – 3.30am Film4 Sunday Captain America: The Winter Soldier 10.30pm – 12.35am BBC1 Monday Parenthood 10.40pm – 12.55am ITV Tuesday Full Metal Jacket 10.05pm – 12.30am ITV4 Wednesday Bullitt 9.05pm – 11.25pm ITV4 Thursday RoboCop 9.00pm – 11.15pm Film4

The second week of Max's Film Club takeover begins! This week, our chosen theme is 'The works of Jake Gyllenhaal', starting with 'Nightcrawler'. Los Angeles scrounger Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) survives via scavenging and petty theft, yet stumbles into a new career as a cameraman, arming himself with a camcorder and police scanner on nocturnal forays across the city in search of shocking and grisly crimes. Desperate to get the best possible footage he can, Louis throws himself into increasingly dangerous situations, desperate to get that 'Money Shot'. Rene Russo, Riz Ahmed and Bill Paxton also star.  

ok ok ok, i has a confession to make...... this isnt kris who have been writing these posts aboot the film guide or whatevs. its actually me, SIMON the destroyer of worlds (i piked that name because it sounds cool, but i aint never destroyed a world, or i dont think so). i has been demoted to writing this demeening blog fingy which normally totes losers do, becaise danny was threateneded by how good at radio i am and how very handsom i am and how incredibly masculin i am and how much better at life i am. so chris stoopid face is now doing the film guide. i dont knwo how long for tho..... i do have a plan to get back in the hot seet, so watch this space..... Ok, that was a lie, but Chris was in the studio to talk about the UK box office, new releases in the cinema, and his pick of films on TV for the coming week. FridayIt FollowsFilm410.55pm - 1.00am SaturdayRaiders of the Lost ArkBBC15.50pm - 7.35pm SundayLord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the RingITV26.25pm - 10.00pm MondayEscape PlanFilm49.00pm - 11.15pm TuesdayThe WolverineFilm49.00pm - 11.30pm WednesdaySchool of RockFilm46.50pm - 9.00pm ThursdayHaywireFilm410.40pm - 12.25am

Kieran here, filling in for Chris whilst he is on his travels.  In the studio this week, award winning radio presenter the gorgeous Danny Smith and intrepid urban-explorer-turned-parkour-enthusiast Simon Carver talked through the UK Box Office Top 10, new movie releases, and Simon’s movie choices on free to air TV for the forthcoming week. Simon appeared at the radio studio in his clerical attire, chosen for its range of movement and airy feel that gives the advantage in free running displays. Ok, at least half of that was a lie. But the pair did talk all things film, and here are those that made the cut from free to air TV. Friday The Transporter 9.00pm – 10.50pm E4 Saturday An American Werewolf in London 11.15pm – 1.15am Film4 Sunday The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 5.35pm – 9.00pm ITV2 Monday X Men: First Class 9.00pm – 11.35pm Film4 Tuesday 3:10 to Yuma 10.50pm – 1.15am Film4 Wednesday Side Effects 9.00pm – 11.10pm More4 Thursday Tooth Fairy 2.25pm – 4.30pm Film4

We conclude this week of celebrating Dwayne Johnson's works  with 2010 Thriller 'Faster'. Following a 10-year prison stint, Driver (Dwayne Johnson) is desperate to take vengeance on those responsible for his brother's murder. Within hours of dispatching his first target, he has two men on his tail: a veteran police officer (Billy Bob Thornton) and an eager assassin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen). Driver tries to stay a step ahead of his pursuers, but there are hints that his list is incomplete, and the unknown person may endanger his life.  

Our next Film Club entry starring Dwayne Johnson is 2014's 'Hercules'. Though famous across the ancient world for his larger-than-life exploits, Hercules (Dwayne Johnson), the son of Zeus and a human woman, is haunted by his tragic past. Now, he fights only for gold as a traveling mercenary, accompanied by a band of loyal followers, including Amphiarus (Ian McShane) and Autolycus (Rufus Sewell). John Hurt also stars as the Lord that employs Hercules to fight off the savages attacking his lands.

Next on this week of 'Films featuring Dwayne Johnson', is 2010 comedy 'The Other Guys'. Desk-bound NYPD detectives Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) work day to day, making no headlines. Gamble relishes his job as a paper pusher, but Hoitz is itching to get back on the street and make a name for himself. When a seemingly minor case turns out to be a big deal, the two cops get the opportunity to finally prove to their comrades that they have the right stuff. Dwayne Johnson cameos in a big way along with Samuel L Jackson, with Michael Keaton starring as the Police Captain.  

It's time for a week of Max's Film Club, and this week the theme is ' Dwayne Johnson Features', starting with 'Furious 6', the 6th entry in the Fast and Furious franchise. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian's (Paul Walker) crew have scattered across the globe since their successful heist in Rio (Spoilers!), but must still live as fugitives, unable to return home to their families. However, when Agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) comes to the group offering pardons in exchange for help taking down a crime group, which includes Dom's old flame, they find themselves heading to London to work once more. Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson and Luke Evans also star.

Concluding this week's Film Club of Scientists and Mathematicians, today we look at 'The Imitation Game'. Directed by Morten Tyldum, the film tells the story of Alan Turing, and his efforts to crack the Enigma at Bletchley Park, and then his horrific treatment at the hands of the state after the war. Stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Rory Kinnear, and Charles Dance.  

Next on this week of Scientist and Mathematician films, Chris looks at 'The Theory of Everything'. Directed by James Marsh and based on a book by Jane Wilde Hawking, it tells the story of Stephen and Jane meeting, falling in love, Stephen being diagnosed with ALS, and becoming a success in physics. Starring Eddie Redmayne (in an Oscar-winning role), Felicity Jones, Charlie Cox and Emily Watson.