“‘Let me know if you need anything’ is one of the most useless things you can say.”

–Paula Harris

Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with financial advisor and author Paula Harris, who shares practical insights on how to support someone grieving the loss of a spouse.

Drawing on years of experience working with widowed clients and her own faith-rooted perspective, Paula shares thoughtful, actionable ways to be present during what can be one of life’s most isolating seasons.

Drawing from her publications Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal and A Grief Journal, Paula offers a unique blend of guided writing, storytelling, and actionable tools to help people process grief on their own timeline.

She urges those within a widow or widower’s circle to move beyond clichés like “let me know if you need anything.” Instead, she offers specific, compassionate actions—from hanging Christmas lights to making a weekly check-in call.

Paula also explains the dangers of isolation, the risks of financial exploitation, and how a personal touch in your condolences can go a long way. She reminds us, above all, that grief manifests differently for each and every person. And so, dealing with it requires a great deal of tact and empathy.

“Show up,” she says. “Be Present.” Ask gentle questions. And never underestimate the healing power of presence, story, and a handwritten note.

 

Key Topics

·      Why Casseroles and Flowers Aren’t Enough (05:15)

·      Better Ways to Show Up for a Grieving Friend (06:59)

·      How Grief Evolves Over Time (20:38)

·      “Don’t Be a Purse”: Financial Boundaries for Widows (21:38)

·      The Power of Handwritten Notes and Storytelling (28:42)

·      How Advisors Can Ethically Support the Bereaved (35:27)

·      Stephanie and Kevin’s Wrap Up (39:25)

 

Resources:

·      WHCornerstone.com

·      Paula Harris’ Ted Talk

·      Wisdom Wednesday with Paula Harris (YouTube Channel)

 

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You can find the transcript and more information about this episode at www.takebackretirement.com.

 

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