One out of every three families in the United States is some form of blended family. Many have asked for wisdom on how to make their blended families work. Today I bring in the two wisest people I know on the subject: my dad and mom! Dan and Pat Holland are 45 years into their second marriage, and share a lifetime of wisdom from raising a family of 5 children.

Show Highlights

• Intro to my parents dating and marriage
• What it was like in the 60s and 70s to be a divorced Christian in the church
• What we thought the biggest challenges of a blended family would be vs our actual biggest challenges
• How we handled two completely sets of rules and family dynamics – challenges for both parents and the kids
• Step-mom as primary caregiver and dad working
• Step-parent feeling authority to manage the home
• Discipline as a step-parent
• Dealing with feelings of guilt as a parent
  • some parents try to overcompensate with rules or gifts
  • how we kept from overcompensating
  • showing our children we love them vs trying to buy our child’s love
• Giving our kids and step kids a place to call home
• The blended family dynamic made mom want to quit
• If we could go back in a time machine and give step-parent advice:
  • develop a positive relationship with your spouse’s ex
  • never use the kids as a weapon against your ex
  • take the challenges to God instead of trying to work it all out by myself

Resources

www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges