It’s a new year, but here at the Shallow End, we’re already out of fresh content—so strap in for a recycled classic! It wasn’t so much the burglarizing as it was what they did with the plunder, and JG’s got the extremely disturbing (yet undeniably hilarious) story to prove it. Then, Lindsay reminds us that 911 should be reserved for actual emergencies… you know, like real-life threats and not just mild inconveniences. And don’t forget our most important safety tip: never listen to the Shallow End while taking a bath with a plugged-in air fryer—trust us, it’s a real buzzkill.

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