NEWS WEAKLY – 1st February, 2025

🎟 Tickets to the News Weakly 150th Episode Live Show are now available! 🎟

The show is on March 21st at 6:30pm at Comedy Republic, Melbourne.

🎟 Grab your tickets at comedyrepublic.com.au

🎟 Patreon members get a discount code and the warm glow of knowing they keep News Weakly ad-free and listener-supported! Sign up at patreon.com/samishah.

TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK

🚨 Nothing good ever happens in a caravan!

🚨 Trump wants Hamas to have more babies!

🚨 You can’t spell China without A and I!

All that, and just a little bit more, on NEWS WEAKLY!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"If it looks like a hate crime, smells like a hate crime, and involves explosives targeting a synagogue, there’s a fairly high chance it’s not a quirky art installation."

EPISODE SUMMARY:

🔴 Explosive Discourse, News Now…

A caravan full of explosives, a synagogue on the target list, and some TikTok drifters caught in the middle—Australia’s antisemitic attacks are either the worst-organized hate crimes in history or proof that someone is paying people to be Nazis. Meanwhile, Peter Dutton continues his one-man mission to make everything worse.

🎭 Lights, Camera, Prisoner Exchange, News Now…

The Gaza ceasefire continues, with more hostages and prisoners swapped, while Hamas turns every handover into a Broadway production. Netanyahu, not to be outdone, delays releases for maximum drama, because in this conflict, optics matter more than human lives. Meanwhile, Israel keeps arresting more Palestinians just in case they need a fresh batch for future swaps, and America wants Hamas to use less contraception.

🔥 Swedes Didn’t Start the Fire, News Now…

Sweden’s most controversial amateur arsonist, Salwan Momika, has been shot dead, and now everyone is using his death to confirm their worst fears.

🤖 My AI is Cheaper Than Your AI, News Now…

Nvidia, once the golden god of AI stocks, just lost $600 billion in market value—because China’s AI game just levelled up. DeepSeek made waves with a cost-effective AI model, then Alibaba swooped in with something even better than GPT-4. Meanwhile, Trump isn’t thrilled about America losing its AI dominance, but instead of doing something productive, he’s probably going to start a trade war with China instead.

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🎟 Get your tickets now for the 150th Episode Live Show!

🔗 comedyrepublic.com.au

🎵 Theme music: "Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram

📝 Written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah Get bonus content on Patreon

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