🎟 Tickets to the News Weakly 150th Episode Live Show are ON SALE NOW! 🎟

📅 Date: March 21st, 6:30pm

📍 Venue: Comedy Republic, Melbourne

🎟 Tickets: comedyrepublic.com.au

💸 Patreon members get a special discount code and the joy of keeping News Weakly ad-free at patreon.com/samishah.

🚨 Do as Trump says but don’t do as Trump do be do!

All that, and more, on NEWS WEAKLY!

"We’ve had to say that Israel isn’t an apartheid state, it’s just a state that’s committing apartheid. It isn’t committing genocide in Gaza, it just says it wants to and acts like it wants to. And now this won’t be US and Israel committing ethnic cleansing, it’ll just be a general cleansing of one ethnicity."

🗺️ From the River to the Casino, News Now…

Remember when people said Israel wasn’t going to take over Gaza? Well, surprise! That’s exactly what’s happening! Pro-Israel voices who dismissed concerns of annexation now have the same credibility as a guy swearing he doesn't watch porn. Meanwhile, Trump voters who thought he’d be softer on Gaza than Biden are discovering that ‘5% of the population left’ is somehow worse than ‘100% of the population bombed’.

Trump’s latest grand idea? The United States should take control of Gaza, because nothing screams stability like an American occupation. While Netanyahu struggles to hide his glee, even Trump’s own press secretary had to issue an immediate "What he meant was…" statement. But don’t worry, Trump himself clarified in the best way possible—with a deranged social media post about turning Gaza into a luxury development project.

Meanwhile, the Arab states have condemned Trump’s statement, but let’s be honest—the Arab states are as reliable as a weather app predicting Melbourne’s forecast. And while some optimists still think Trump is just saying things, history tells us when authoritarians move fast and break things, they don’t rebuild them with democratic values in mind.

If you enjoy News Weakly, help keep it ad-free and independent by supporting on Patreon:

🔗 patreon.com/samishah

🎟 Get your tickets now for the 150th Episode Live Show!

🔗 comedyrepublic.com.au

🎵 Theme music: "Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram

📝 Written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah

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