Aging in Style with Lori Williams

147. The silent struggle of caregivers and tips to best support them


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How can I best support the caregivers in my life?

It’s easy to empathize and imagine that the life of a caregiver is not an easy one. Actually living that experience, though, is a different story.

Senior Living Expert Lori Williams learned this firsthand when her husband had a series of strokes 6 months ago. The reality of caregiving, she says, “is unfathomable.” She draws from her experiences to share what’s helpful for caregivers as they care for their loved ones after strokes, accidents, and other mishaps. Plus, she shares insights she’s learned from support groups and other caregivers.

One common thread is that caregivers are struggling. They experience a lot of stress, and many family members in their lives aren’t stepping up to help them. Too often they suffer chronic exhaustion while trying to do it all. Many don’t ask for help or know how to ask for help.


Some ways to alleviate their stress and help support them include:

Joining them at the hospital: The hospital isn’t a fun place to be - caregivers often don’t want to be there either! Make a visit anyway and take shifts to sit with their loved one so they can attend to their needs too (especially if you’re family).

-Bring them food. Don’t get too caught up in scheduling it or asking what they’d want because their brain is often overloaded. Just drop it off.

Offer to meet up with them. This could be at church, at a local restaurant - anything to help them feel “normal” and included.

Call them. Distractions are great, and a safe space to vent is often much appreciated.

Run errands for them: Offer to pick up and deliver groceries, medications and more. Take out the trash for them so it’s one less item on their to-do list.

Offer your time or talents. Maybe you can watch their loved one while the caregiver gets a haircut. Or maybe you’re super organized and can help rearrange their garage.

 For caregivers, having a support system is key. Online support groups are great, but having real-life support is hard to beat and even a godsend.


Topics discussed:

How to support caregivers

Caregiver support groups

Acts of kindness

Supporting family

Stroke aftermath

Supporting someone with stress

Checking on friends / loved ones


Takeaways from this episode:

  1. Support the caregivers in your family. One person cannot do it all. No, caregiving isn’t fun, but it’s a necessity - so share in the responsibility.
  2. The stress of a caregiver is unfathomable. It’s critical to step up and help in any way, big or small.
  3. Caregivers are often mentally overloaded and chronically exhausted. They will be grateful if you can remove an item from their to-do list and reduce any additional decision-making in their lives.
  4. Offer to watch a caregiver's loved one, sit with them at the hospital, or even pay for a professional caregiver for a couple of hours if you feel called to do so.
  5. Give yourself permission to help. Don't wait for requests because caregivers often don't know how to ask for help.


Resources mentioned in this episode:

129. Things to consider when a life-changing illness or accident changes life as you know it:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/2c050e6a/129-things-to-consider-when-a-life-changing-illness-or-accident-changes-life-as-you-know-it

Stepping Stones Guide:

http://steppingstonesdenton.com/goals-tips/

To suggest a topic, be a guest or to support the podcast, please email [email protected]

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