Reframing Neurodiversity

16. What is Reparenting?


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If you've been following me for a bit, you may have noticed a transition in the work that I'm doing and how I’m supporting our neurodivergent community.

Through my work, masters education and personal experiences, my perspective has really been shifting from focusing on supporting the kids to supporting the mothers- because they are truly the root.

As mothers, when we can embody:

* Our higher selves

* Our imperfections

* Our differences in a way that we radically accept ourselves.

* It allows us to then radically accept our children. It allows us to create connection in a way that is deep and meaningful and present.

When we're in denial or we're ashamed or we're hiding or masking or conforming to feel approved and loved by people based on a version of us that isn't us. We're going to pass that inauthenticity down to our kids.

Unintentionally, we're going to then support them in doing the same because kids do what we do, right? What we're modeling is so much more powerful than our words. It's like we can say: “Be true to yourself” and if we're not true to ourselves- nothing will change.

This ADHD community holds a lot of shame, a lot of pain, a lot of grief, I feel from feeling:

* Misunderstood

* Alone

* Like we don't really fit in.

* And really feeling unseen in our experiences.

* And that's painful.

And so as adults, we carry these wounds, whether they came from our parents, society, our culture, our school settings, from our teachers or all of the above. We carry these things within ourselves on some level, whether we're fully aware of them or not, and it impacts us:

* It impacts the way we feel about ourselves.

* It impacts the way we show up in the world.

* It impacts our nervous system.

* How we respond to environments and situations and relationships.

* It really impacts everything.

And so this idea of reparenting ourselves as mothers, I feel, is the path of least resistance to truly heal ourselves and then inadvertently (without a whole lot of effort) heal our kids and our kids' kids.

Really shifting this generational experience that we're having within families and within our collective that's that's harmful.

If you haven't checked it out yet- I've been sharing my favorite go to’s for emotional regulation: Creating your ‘Self-Regulation Toolbox’

P.S. Want to create your own self-regulation toolbox and work on reparenting yourself together? I’d love to support you in my paid community for ADHD Moms. Click here to learn more

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit neurodiversityadvocate.substack.com/subscribe

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Reframing NeurodiversityBy Melissa Jackson

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