Episode 206 with Madeline Grace Matthews & Karla Pretorius

“I'm learning more and more how to be myself.”

Madeline is 23, and she was diagnosed with autism and a mild cognitive disability as a child. Originally from the U.S., she currently lives with her missionary family in Thailand. She is also the author of the recent book “Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective.” 

Madeline’s book started as a series of letters to her younger self — originally as a coping tool, and eventually as a way to make sense of her neurodivergence, as well as childhood trauma, big emotions, religious faith, and learning to see herself as “different, not less.”

Karla is a psychotherapist and PhD candidate who began working with Madeline in 2021 and helped her write and publish the book. In the first half of the episode, the three of us discuss the process of writing the book and the healing power of showing our younger selves kindness and acceptance. 

In the second half of the episode, I sit down with Karla and hear a little more about her research on women and ADHD and the incredible work she’s doing in the neurodivergent community. Karla, who has ADHD herself, shares how she’s working to bridge academic research with lived experience.

If you’re the parent of a neurodivergent teen or if you’ve been diagnosed in adulthood and you’re on a journey of reparenting your inner child, or if you’ve ever felt like you were too much, not enough, or simply misunderstood — this episode is definitely for you.

Website: karlapretorius.com

Instagram: @therapy.neurodivergent

Links & Resources:

Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective by Madeline Grace Mathews and Karla Pretorius

AIMS Global

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

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Episode 205 with Jen Fry.

“I like to tell people that I’m not nice. I’m kind, but I’m not nice. I think niceness is weaponized way too much against people.”

Jen is an educator, speaker, and author of the book “I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk.”

Saying no is supposed to be simple — but for so many women with ADHD, it feels loaded with guilt, overthinking, and the fear of disappointing everyone around you.

Jen is a former college volleyball coach with a PhD in sports geography, and she now works at the intersection of conflict, culture, and sport, speaking to teams and organizations around the country.

We talk about the ADHD tendency to be a people-pleaser, and why Jen proudly says she’s kind, not nice. In this conversation, we talk about ADHD, hyperfocus, time blindness, imposter syndrome, and why so many high-achieving women end up chronically overcommitted, burnt out, and resentful. 

We also explore what it really takes to say no — not just to other people, but to our own overexcited ADHD brains, our endless ideas, and our impulse to fill every spare moment.

If you’ve ever struggled with boundaries, overcommitting, or worrying that saying no makes you “difficult,” this episode is going to hit very close to home. 

Website: jenfrytalks.com

Instagram: @jenfrytalks

Links & Resources:

I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk by Dr. Jen Fry

The Power of Likeability (Forbes)

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 204 with Rae Jacobson.

“There is a difference between traits and impairment. If we dilute the idea of ADHD into something that just seems familiar, we risk shutting out the people who really need help.”

Rae is a journalist, an ADHD and learning disorders expert, and the Lead of Insight at Understood, where she also hosts the podcast Hyperfocus. Rae has spent over 20 years digging into the stories and science of neurodivergence. She’s a former senior editor at the Child Mind Institute, and her work has appeared in New York Magazine, the Daily Beast, Rolling Stone, Parenting, American Girl, and more.

Rae and I talk about her very winding path to an ADHD diagnosis: growing up as the “smart kid who did terribly at school,” getting diagnosed with LD-NOS, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia, and then finally, in her early 20s, realizing she has ADHD. Rae shares the life-changing experience of attending Landmark College — a school specifically for students with ADHD and learning disabilities.

We also wrestle with the current ADHD discourse: the difference between relatable traits and true impairment, what happens when “everyone has ADHD,” and why that can both broaden awareness and quietly shut people out of care. We talk about internalized ableism, the ongoing cycles of skepticism (“quit your whining”) and backlash online, and the need for voices that pair lived experience with journalistic fact-checking.

And of course, we talk about Hyperfocus, Rae’s podcast at Understood that zeroes in on what fascinates us most about ADHD, mental health, and learning. 

Website: Understood.org

Instagram: @understoodorg

Links & Resources:

The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study (S. Hinshaw)

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Episode 203 with Dr. Anupriya Gonge.

“For mothers, the executive functioning demands keep shifting. Just as you find your rhythm, everything changes again.”

Dr. Anupriya Gogne is a board-certified addiction psychiatrist who specializes in women’s mental health, She is also the Division Director of Outpatient Psychiatry at Brown University Health in Rhode Island. Over the past eight years, she has worked closely with adult and perinatal women navigating a wide range of psychiatric challenges. After her own late-in-life ADHD diagnosis, Dr. Gogne began to reframe much of what she was seeing in her clinical work — particularly in high-achieving women who had spent years feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, or misdiagnosed. This personal and professional insight led her to write the book “Neurodevelopmental Disorders in Adult Women: Special Considerations in the Perinatal Period,” which offers a clinical guide for trainees and practitioners and sheds light on the often-overlooked experiences of neurodivergent women and mothers.

We discuss how ADHD often presents differently in women, especially during the perinatal period, and how executive dysfunction can be mistaken for laziness, depression, or character flaws. Dr. Gogne shares her own experience of being a high-functioning but chronically exhausted student and professional, and how the diagnosis helped her understand her lifelong struggles with attention, restlessness, and self-criticism. We talk about the gendered ways society responds to executive dysfunction in mothers vs. fathers, the importance of strengths-based and trauma-informed care, and the intersection of ADHD with culture, trauma, and hormonal transitions. Dr. Gogne also shares how cultural norms in India shaped her ability to mask and compensate for her symptoms, and why she believes ADHD is not a disorder, but rather a state of nervous system dysregulation that deserves more compassionate and individualized treatment.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Dr. Gogne’s late ADHD diagnosis and its impact on her clinical work
• The need for strengths-based, individualized approaches in perinatal psychiatry
• How mothers and fathers experience executive dysfunction differently
• How trauma and hormonal shifts intersect with executive dysfunction

Website: https://www.brownhealth.org/providers/anupriya-gogne-md

Links & Resources:

Neurodevelopmental Disorders in Adult Women: Special Considerations in the Perinatal Period by Dr. Anupriya Gogne

(Get 20% off with code: SPRAUT)

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 202 with Laura Kerbey.

“Masking is bloody exhausting. Then again, not masking is scary because we worry people won’t like us or accept us.”

Laura is an educator, consultant, and author who has been working with autistic children and young people for nearly 25 years. Laura is the founder of PAST, which stands for Positive Assessments Support and Training, and co-founder of KITE Therapeutic Learning Services, and she’s known internationally for her expertise in autism, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy), and neurodivergent education.

She’s also the author of several books, including the newly released “The Kids’ Simple Guide to PDA” and “The Parents’ and Professionals’ Simple Guide to PDA” as well as The (Slightly Distracted) Woman’s Guide to Living with an Adult ADHD Diagnosis, which was released this past summer. Laura brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work — she was diagnosed with ADHD in her forties and self-identifies as autistic.

In this episode, Laura and I discuss:

• Laura’s personal journey to her ADHD diagnosis in her forties, and her self-identification as autistic
• Why so many women are overlooked or misdiagnosed until adulthood
• The physical and mental impacts of masking and “seeming fine”
• Strategies for unmasking and advocating for oneself
• The power of reframing ADHD from “deficit” to difference

Laura is also offering a 6-week course in January for late-diagnosed and late-identifying women with ADHD, which is based on her book. For information or to register for the course: https://www.trybooking.com/uk/FFKX

Website: www.p-ast.co.uk

Instagram: @laura_kerbey

Facebook: @LauraKerbeyPast

Links & Resources:

The (Slightly Distracted) Woman’s Guide to Living with an Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Laura Kerbey

KITE Therapeutic Learning Services

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 201 with Lindsey Buchanan.

“ADHD doesn’t always feel like you’re the abnormal one — often it just feels like everyone else isn’t cooperating.”

Lindsey is an ADHD and executive functioning coach and a member of our Women & ADHD coaching team. We talk about the surprising way she got diagnosed (spoiler: her psychiatrist sister broke it to her), the relief she felt after finally finding her people, and how self-compassion has been a cornerstone of her journey.

We also talk about the role of exercise and how vital it is for ADHD brains, we talk about how Lindsey has moved past some of her shame spirals around lateness and organization, and the ways she now made a career out of helping others “unwrap their gifts” through ADHD coaching.

In this episode, Lindsey and I discuss:

• Lindsey’s path to an adult ADHD diagnosis and how it reframed her life story
• The role of family, genetics, and self-advocacy in her journey
• Navigating shame, indecision, and societal expectations as a woman with ADHD
• The importance of movement, exercise, and honoring your needs
• How Lindsey transitioned from the corporate world to ADHD coaching
• Lindsey’s favorite tools and strategies for building self-awareness and self-compassion, including values work and the satisfaction wheel
• The power of community, asking for help, and redefining success
• Lindsey’s coaching philosophy: helping clients “unwrap their gifts” and integrate their strengths into daily life

If you love this episode and you’d like to hear even more of how Lindsey became an ADHD coach, don’t miss Episode 200 of Women & ADHD, where she shares more of her journey.

Website: womenandadhd.com/lindsey

Links & Resources:

Episode 200

Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women's ADHD by Gilly Kahn, PhD

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 200 with Katy and Team Women & ADHD.

“Before any of us knew we had ADHD, we were all asking the same frustrated question: ‘What’s wrong with me??’”

Episode 200! 🎉 In this special milestone episode, I’m taking a moment to reflect on what I’ve learned after nearly five years of hosting this podcast and talking with hundreds of brilliant women and adults socialized as girls with ADHD. 

I share 10 of the most common themes I’ve observed over the years — from misdiagnosis and executive dysfunction to the healing power of community and the growing recognition that ADHD in women rarely looks the way it’s “supposed to.”

Then I’m joined by a few of the incredible coaches who make up Team Women & ADHD — Emily, Taucha, and Lindsey — for a heartfelt and insightful conversation about what brought each of them to this work and why coaching can be so transformational for neurodivergent women.

Together, we talk about shame, support, mindset, and what it really means to build a life that works with your brain, not against it.

Whether you’ve been here since Episode 1 or this is your first time tuning in — thank you. I’m so glad we’re taking this journey together!

Website: womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

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Episode 199 with Shannan Palma.

“Sometimes I know exactly what to do — but I just can’t make my body do it. And then comes the shame spiral, the anger, the anxiety.”

Shannan is the founder and CEO of ITI Assistive Technologies and co-leader of the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network (ASR). Shannan is autistic and has ADHD, and she’s building the kinds of tools she wished had existed when she was struggling most. Prior to her dual diagnosis, Shannan was a professor who left academia due to severe burnout. After her diagnosis, she started looking for resources and support, but soon recognized a huge gap in support for autistic and ADHD adults — especially when it came to executive functioning and decision-making.

In this episode, Shannan and I discuss:

• Shannan’s path from academia to diagnosis and advocacy
• Her AI-powered decision support app Decide, designed specifically for neurodivergent brains by a team of autistic and ADHD developers
• How AI tools can support the mental load of neurodivergent life
• The concept of “bottom-up” processing in neurodivergent brains
• The urgent need for adult-focused research and how the tojisha-kenkyu method of self-directed research can be used among autistic adults.

Website: Autistic Self-Reliance (ASR) ; ITI Assistive Technologies

LinkedIn: Shannan Palma

Links & Resources:

Decide app

Video: Dr. Shannan Palma: #FlipThePowerDynamic in Autism Research and Funding

Annie Duke’s website

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 198 with Raquel Devillé.

“The idea of just sitting still to meditate was always terrifying. I need movement — something active — otherwise I can’t calm down.”

Raquel is a therapist, yoga teacher, and the author of It’s Not Your Period! Beyond Moods and Myths: Understanding Unexplainable Emotions and the Hidden Roots of Pain, Stress, and Anxiety. Originally from Portugal and now based in Belgium, Raquel was diagnosed with ADHD and autism in adulthood after recognizing the signs through her children’s experiences.

Drawing from her personal journey and professional training, Raquel developed the EnCorps Method — a body-centered, practical framework designed to help neurodivergent individuals manage sensory overwhelm, chronic stress, and emotional dysregulation. Her work offers a refreshing, empowering path to self-acceptance and nervous system regulation.

In this episode, Raquel and I discuss:

• The connections between chronic stress, masking, sensory overwhelm, and chronic pain
• How TRE (Tension & Trauma Release Exercises) helps discharge stress stored in the body
• Why stillness-based meditation often doesn’t work for ADHDers — and what does
• Practical ways to weave body-based practices like TRE and somatic healing into daily life
• Highlights from her EnCorps Method, including embracing sensations, nurturing the body, and stabilizing the nervous system over time

Whether you're newly diagnosed or deep into your neurodivergence journey, Raquel’s approach offers some fascinating and tangible strategies for stabilizing the nervous system over time

Website: encorps.be ; raqueldeville.be

Instagram: @raqueldeville

Links & Resources:

Video: Peter Levine's Secret to Releasing Trauma from the Body

Video: Impala Escapes Death & Shakes off Stress

Book: When The Body Says No by Gabor Maté

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 197 with Danielle Elliot.

“I would love to see the conversation move towards less questioning of women when they talk about having ADHD.”

Danielle is a health and science journalist, documentarian, and creator and host of Climbing the Walls, a new 6-part podcast series produced by Understood.org that releases April 9 (in 2 days!). 

Danielle was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 36 amid a surge of ADHD diagnoses in women since the pandemic. In her podcast series, she travels the country speaking with mental health professionals and women with ADHD to get answers to her big questions, like “Why women?” “Why now?” — and are we as a society equipped to support these many recently diagnosed women?

In today’s interview, Danielle shares her own diagnosis story as well as what she discovered throughout this investigative journey. She shares what surprised her most, and where she feels the conversation around neurodivergence — especially among women — needs to be headed.

Website: danielliot.com ; https://lnk.to/climbingthewalls

Instagram: @understoodorg

Links & Resources:

Understood.org

GODDESS ADHD team

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Small group coaching with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/groupcoaching

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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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