ADHD affects our whole life — even our sex life. Our friend Cate Osborn, who has a background in sex education, is back to chat with host Laura Key about executive function challenges that may pop up in the bedroom. Cate and Laura dive into topics like ADHD and consent, working memory, and rejection sensitivity. 

Cate hosts another Understood.org podcast, Sorry, I Missed This, a show about ADHD, intimacy, and communication. Check it out for some deeper dives into this episode’s topics!

Note: This episode contains conversation about sexual assault. 

Related resources

Rainn.org

Hear Cate’s personal story: ADHD and hormones (Cate Osborn’s story) 

Cate’s podcast, Sorry, I Missed This!

Timestamps

(02:34) Why it’s called “Sorry, I Missed This”

(6:50) Executive function impact on relationships

(10:04) “Sex is a task”

(12:20)Task initiation impact on relationships

(14:07) Communication, working memory, and consent

(16:31) Time perception, impulsiveness, and dating

(20:46) “It’s not your fault”

(23:19) How to approach consent as a person with ADHD

(27:33) Cate’s own journey with ADHD and sexuality

(30:09) How rejection sensitivity complicates consent

(33:32) Cate’s email

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

At 14, Zoe Plotnick told her mom, “My brain’s broken.” Zoe wanted an ADHD evaluation, but her mom discouraged it, pointing to Zoe’s good grades. Zoe was eventually diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. She also learned that her mom was hiding her own ADHD all along.  

Now Zoe, who’s a teacher, is unpacking the ADHD stigma that her family has carried for generations. And she’s advocating for her daughter who, in a twist of fate, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 14 — the same age Zoe was when she tried to get evaluated the first time.   

Related resources

• Is ADHD hereditary?
• Masking my ADHD at work was exhausting, so I stopped
• How do I emotionally prepare for ADHD diagnosis?  

Timestamps

((01:10) Zoe’s pandemic “aha” moment

(03:23) Pushing for an ADHD diagnosis as an adult

(05:22) Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD

(09:17) Asking for help when Zoe was 14 

(12:32) Generational ADHD shame and masking

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.org

Want to share your “aha”  moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

For years, Julianna Broadwater’s therapist suggested looking into ADHD. But Julianna resisted. She had a past diagnosis of OCD, so she attributed her challenges to that. Plus she was the primary breadwinner in the family, so how could she have ADHD? 

Then Julianna tried ADHD medication, and her thinking completely changed. The impulsive, intrusive thoughts that would pop into her head started to lessen. It was easy to swat them away like flies, instead of dropping everything to focus on them. 

Julianna was diagnosed with ADHD during the pandemic. Hear about her OCD misdiagnosis, and how the symptoms she thought were her OCD actually stemmed from ADHD. 

Related resources

• I have ADHD and OCD. Here’s what a weekend getaway looks like for me
• What is perseveration?
• ADHD and anxiety

Timestamps

(01:17) Julianna’s ADHD diagnosis story

(06:49) Julianna’s experience growing up

(11:42) Julianna’s OCD misdiagnosis

(13:59) Getting stuck on thoughts

(15:26) Never going back to how things were before the pandemic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.org

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Growing up, Jared Robson got so sick of failing that he decided, “trying isn’t for me.” Jared got into trouble all the time and bounced around different high schools. He eventually graduated high school but admits that that might not have happened if his family weren’t so well-off.  

Now, Jared’s a stay-at-home dad and thriving as a college student taking courses online (He has a 4.0 GPA!). Jared and Laura talk about the “hyperactive little boy” stereotype. Listen as he describes his quest to find stillness and how he thinks of the ADHD failure cycle today.   

Related resources

• Understanding hyperactivity
• What is the school-to-prison pipeline? From Opportunity Gap
• ADHD in boys

Timestamps

(01:01) Jared’s school life growing up

(07:08) “Trying isn’t for me”

(10:54) Changing around high schools

(12:53) Trying out different colleges

(13:56) Managing expectations

(17:31) Jared’s “aha” moments

(20:14) Jared’s pandemic lifestyle change

(23:36) Jared’s mindset shift in the present day

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.org.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

After Samantha Hiew had her second child at age 40, hormonal changes shed light on her ADHD symptoms. She was diagnosed with ADHD and, later, autism. Sam talks about her experience with AuDHD, including regulating emotions and sensory meltdowns. Sam also talks about her multicultural experience and the importance of community when you have ADHD. 

Sam is a social entrepreneur, scientist, and advocate. She’s also the founder and director of ADHD Girls, an award-winning social impact organization that helps neurodivergent girls succeed.

Related resources

• What is AuDHD?
• A guide to hormones and ADHD
• adhdgirls.co.uk
• Sam’s personal website, samanthahiew.com

Timestamps

(01:21) What is ADHD Girls?

(02:59) Why was Sam questioning if she had ADHD?

(06:42) Sam’s multicultural experience with ADHD

(10:12) Sam’s ADHD symptoms

(12:04) Having both ADHD and autism

(14:32) Sensory meltdowns

(18:12) Sam’s childhood

(19:58) ADHD and hormones

(26:00) Where you can find Sam

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.org

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

In school, a teacher made Rakia Reynolds push her desk all the way to the principal’s office for getting in trouble. Rakia had undiagnosed ADHD. She was energetic, creative, and the class clown. Rakia is now a businesswoman and creative leader with diagnosed ADHD — a diagnosis that she never shared publicly… until now. 

Hear from Rakia, the founder and executive director of Skai Blue Media, on why she shied away from talking about her ADHD until now. Did a level of success make it feel safer to talk about? And if so, what can we learn from that?  

Related resources

• Rakia’s company, skaibluemedia.com
• Why some kids clown around in class  
• 32 examples of workplace accommodations

Timestamps

(01:41) Speaking publicly about having ADHD

(07:47) Rakia’s childhood and school life

(12:43) Hitting a wall in graduate school

(14:36) Rakia’s “aha“ moments

(16:51) ADHD strengths and weaknesses

(18:53) Coping at work

(21:36) How employers can create an inclusive and supportive workplace

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Em Schulz thought they were just lazy growing up. Years later, after discovering that not everyone’s TikTok was full of ADHD tips that “weirdly work,” they realized they might have ADHD.

Em is a paranormal investigator (aka ghost hunter) and co-host of the And That’s Why We Drink podcast. Em and Laura chat about ghosts and ghosting, as in ghosting relationships — a not uncommon ADHD behavior. And Em shares their take on whether people believe less in ghosts or ADHD.

Related resources

• Em’s podcast website, andthatswhywedrink.com
• “Is ADHD real?” What experts say when people doubt ADHD
• ADHD fact sheet

Timestamps

(01:32) What it’s like being a paranormal investigator

(06:13) What do people believe in less: ADHD or ghosts?

(07:02) Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD

(10:42) Em’s pandemic diagnosis

(14:02) TikTok ADHD tips that resonated with Em

(15:39) How did Em’s ADHD diagnosis change their life?

(16:55) What’s scary about ADHD?

(18:34) Why Em became a paranormal investigator

(19:33) ADHD creativity at night

(20:28) Scary movies

(23:43) Where you can find Em

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

Growing up as a Black girl with undiagnosed ADHD, Kayla Sanders learned very early that getting into trouble was not an option. Kayla was imaginative, playful, and extremely bright. She was also hyperactive, which was occasionally mistaken for disobedience. 

One incident in particular in the first grade left a lasting mark on Kayla. From then on out, Kayla did everything she could to avoid causing trouble for her hard-working, loving mom. She pushed down her hyperactivity and masked her symptoms for years. Then, during the pandemic, Kayla was finally diagnosed with ADHD.  

Join Kayla and host Laura Key’s chat on ADHD and masking, and the added pressure that comes from racial bias.

Related resources

• To be Black in America with a learning disability
• Bias in school discipline: When the teacher says your child is “acting out”, from Opportunity Gap
• ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)

Timestamps

(01:10) Kayla’s pandemic ADHD diagnosis story

(06:53) Kayla’s childhood behavior

(09:45) The pressure to mask ADHD as a Black woman

(13:56) Covering up “mistakes” in the classroom

(15:35) Kayla’s relationship with her mom

(20:11) Cultural masking, and the intersection of ADHD and race

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Patricia Sung was diagnosed with ADHD in her first year of college. It wasn’t until she became a mother, and other people relied on her, that she realized just how much ADHD affected her.

Patricia now hosts the Motherhood in ADHD podcast. Join Patricia and host Laura Key as they talk about managing emotions with ADHD. Patricia explains the concept of “raging” — that moment when you go from 99 to 100 and emotions boil over. She also shares strategies that can help. 

Related resources

• Building self-compassion skills
• ADHD and anger
• Patricia’s podcast, Motherhood in ADHD

Timestamps

((01:10) Patricia’s diagnosis story

(06:16) How “ADHD” changed for Patricia when she became a mom

(09:09) ADHD mom challenges

(21:47) Acknowledging realistic “wins” for women with ADHD

(26:41) How you can join Patricia

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Matthew Raghunauth always felt like he was a little lazy and sluggish — that’s just how he was. Then the time came to return to office after the pandemic, and he really started struggling at work. He questioned why he would put things off so much. He was scared to mess up, and afraid that his colleagues would think he’s a bad employee. 

Matthew is an artist and UX designer who was diagnosed with ADHD about a year and a half ago. Join Laura and Matthew as they talk about this ADHD fear of being “found out,” and a grown-up view of growing up.

Related resources

• ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)
• Imposter syndrome at work: How I stopped feeling like a fake
• Not lazy, but exhausted from analysis paralysis (Emily’s story)

Timestamps

(01:25) Why did Matthew seek out an ADHD evaluation?

(05:59) ADHD and prioritization overload

(07:23) Anxiety and fixations while growing up

(10:10) Putting off things out of fear of failing and being rejected

(12:34) ADHD and catastrophizing

(15:32) Are we really “too sensitive”?

(16:38) When “growing up” means taking care of yourself

(21:20) The added pressure of being first generation American

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give